Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 12:31     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Still giggling at the ignorant mic dropper. What a ditz.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 12:26     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:Um...I don't live my life according to what society thinks I should do.

Why do you, OP?


The issue is not living your life as society thinks. The issue is that you think a certain way because of society. Your thoughts and beliefs do not exist in a vacuum
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 12:08     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wish society would stop devaluing women, unless they are mothers.

So there’s that.


It is fine to not want to be a mother. It is risky to wait until 40 to have children if you want to be a mother to biologically-yours children. It isn't devaluing women to point out the realities of biology.


Who is advising women to wait until 40 to try to conceive? Nobody. The point people are making is that life events often don't align these days until after your 20s. Everyone knows the realities of biology.

+1

I could have “bred” with any of the men I was attached to in my 20s and early 30s. Of course, our relationships were doomed, we weren’t financially stable, and a whole host of other socioeconomic issues that go alone with not procreating. My (theoretical) child would have been subjected to economic uncertainty, a separated home/two homes, plus a whole bunch of drama.

That’s better than the life I, as an older parent, have made for my daughter, with two parents, lots of financial security, more time, more resources, etc?

I would have LOVED kids in my earlier years, but it didn’t work out that way.

Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 11:34     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:The ability to delay having children, and society’s acceptance of that, has been nothing short of a revolution for women. It’s something that previous generations could only dream of.


+100000. this is a feature, not a bug.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 11:33     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wish society would stop devaluing women, unless they are mothers.

So there’s that.


It is fine to not want to be a mother. It is risky to wait until 40 to have children if you want to be a mother to biologically-yours children. It isn't devaluing women to point out the realities of biology.


Who is advising women to wait until 40 to try to conceive? Nobody. The point people are making is that life events often don't align these days until after your 20s. Everyone knows the realities of biology.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 11:32     Subject: Re:I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In the past, none of these things existed because they women generally stayed home or took lesser-paying/lower hours/more flexible jobs than their male counterparts. They are absolutely essential if women want equal pay and equal employment opportunities.



I think I'd rather know my grandkids.


a) I wouldn't
b) This is a false choice. My grandparents started passing away when I was in my mid thirties. Not to sound horribly cynical but they could have passed away a good decade sooner and still "known" me. I never even lived near them and I saw them once a year. That's not to say I didn't love my grandparents but I sure hope they didn't plan their entire lives around seeing me 1x per year at the holidays for the last decade of their life.


Not all grandparents see their grandkids once a year. In my community family comes first. Kids see their grandparents several times a week.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 11:31     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:I wish society would stop devaluing women, unless they are mothers.

So there’s that.


It is fine to not want to be a mother. It is risky to wait until 40 to have children if you want to be a mother to biologically-yours children. It isn't devaluing women to point out the realities of biology.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 11:16     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

I wish society would stop devaluing women, unless they are mothers.

So there’s that.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 11:12     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.


Well, I know a number of women that got pregnant late 30's/ early 40's without help.


+1 and I am one of them. Pregnant with no help at 35 and 38.


Okay, but those eggs are not your best work. Just saying. You may have had a viable birth, but you would have better kids if you had had them earlier. Mic drop. But I’m sure the ones you have are just adorable!


Wow, aren’t you a world class b!tch.


+1


Yep. Some of you people are just incredibly mean spirited.


Most likely insecure or dissatisfied mothers vainly trying to make themselves feel better about their life choices.


I had my first at 41 (no intervention) and second at 49 (adopted). God had this plan for me, my bio child, and my adopted child. I feel blessed.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 10:42     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.


Well, I know a number of women that got pregnant late 30's/ early 40's without help.


+1 and I am one of them. Pregnant with no help at 35 and 38.


Okay, but those eggs are not your best work. Just saying. You may have had a viable birth, but you would have better kids if you had had them earlier. Mic drop. But I’m sure the ones you have are just adorable!


Wow, aren’t you a world class b!tch.


+1


Yep. Some of you people are just incredibly mean spirited.


Most likely insecure or dissatisfied mothers vainly trying to make themselves feel better about their life choices.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 10:36     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.


Well, I know a number of women that got pregnant late 30's/ early 40's without help.


+1 and I am one of them. Pregnant with no help at 35 and 38.


Okay, but those eggs are not your best work. Just saying. You may have had a viable birth, but you would have better kids if you had had them earlier. Mic drop. But I’m sure the ones you have are just adorable!


Wow, aren’t you a world class b!tch.


+1


Yep. Some of you people are just incredibly mean spirited.


Interesting. I know very few artists what would consider their early pieces “their best work”


I had my DD at 41. She was conceived off my first cycle without birth control since I was 17.

I’ve done some amazing things. She is truly my best work.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 10:12     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s one of the huge mistakes of today’s society and I silently shake my head in sad confusion whenever I see a pregnant person in their 40s or late 30s. It’s not right. Our bodies know it’s not right, but science makes it possible.


Well, I know a number of women that got pregnant late 30's/ early 40's without help.


+1 and I am one of them. Pregnant with no help at 35 and 38.


Okay, but those eggs are not your best work. Just saying. You may have had a viable birth, but you would have better kids if you had had them earlier. Mic drop. But I’m sure the ones you have are just adorable!


Wow, aren’t you a world class b!tch.


+1


Yep. Some of you people are just incredibly mean spirited.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 09:45     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous[b wrote:]I hope you support paid family leave and universal affordable childcare, and candidates that push for those policies.[/b]


I do, but in the past, everyone started having kids in their early 20's and none of these things existed.


Wow. You are so clueless.


Really, how? Are you trying to suggest that in the past, when everyone was having kids in their early 20's, that there was paid family leave and universal affordable childcare?


"Everyone" wasn't having kids in their early 20s. Many people never married at all--because they could not afford to.

There wasn't paid family leave or universal affordable childcare--married women of certain classes weren't allowed to work, anyway. Poorer women who had to work outside the home left their kids with relatives, or neighbors, or older siblings, or took them into the fields with them, or tied them to the table leg.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 09:24     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

The ability to delay having children, and society’s acceptance of that, has been nothing short of a revolution for women. It’s something that previous generations could only dream of.
Anonymous
Post 03/06/2019 09:17     Subject: I wish society didn't encourage people to put off having kids.

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:^^^^ Did it occur to you that you did not attract men who wanted to settle down because you were not interested in settling down?


I dated two men seriously, one I am married to. I was open with every guy I ever went out with that I wanted to have kids and was dating with that in mind. I met my future husband at 22. Started dating at 24, married at 27. And +4 for him (so he was 31).

I consider myself a case study in focused dating. And I consider myself lucky, because I'm the only one of my friends married, two kids in and financially and relationship stable at 33. Some have some of those things, but I have all. Mostly it was luck and I still didn't have my first until 31.


Wow you sound smug. But I find that life works in cycles so I’m sure before too long you’ll find yourself taken down a peg or two.


But please don’t wish that on anyone. Everyone does in fact experience grave misfortune but we don’t wish that on others!


I'm the pp. I have had lots of misfortune. This one area of my life is great. O really attribute most of it to luck. My only point was that people can be focused on getting married and have it still either not work out or not happen until 30s.