Anonymous wrote:OP here. I totally agree that if our 2 children were severely autistic, our life would be much harder (both financially and otherwise). My heart goes out to you parents who have to shoulder the weight of raising kids with extreme medical issues like that. Whether you make $100k or $300k, or $700k, that is tough to do.

Ours is extremely high functioning autistic - but it's still a big financial drain on us.

1) Most of our peers use low cost school beforecare and aftercare - not an option for us, as he can't deal with it. So that means nanny or (in our case) au pair. Chalk that up to about $17K a year.
2) Weekly sessions with a child psychologist/therapist to work through behavior strategies and training. We do the bare minimum here, and that's about $9K a year.
3) Lots of expenditures on "rewards" used as part of behavior therapy. Probably adds up to a few thousand bucks a year.
4) We're lucky enough that our elementary school is providing adequate support for him right now - hopefully that'll continue. But that's a big potential risk to have to switch to a specialty private school.

You never know what's really going on in someone's house or with their finances. People think that we're so fancy and lucky because we have an au pair. If we didn't have one consistent person who DW trusted (and who amazingly, puts up with him), one of us would have to probably drop back to half time work - and that's an even bigger impact.

OP here. I totally agree that if our 2 children were severely autistic, our life would be much harder (both financially and otherwise). My heart goes out to you parents who have to shoulder the weight of raising kids with extreme medical issues like that. Whether you make $100k or $300k, or $700k, that is tough to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to add, I realize this is a bit masturbatory. I know we have it easy, and I'm not looking for any positive feedback. I just get frustrated by the $300k "scraping by" posts and wanted to push back on it a bit.

Add a severely autistic DC or two to the mix and get back to us about how easy it is.

But that is a special circumstance. OP was not responding to people that have unusual medical costs and saying suck it up you are doing fine, OP was responding to the adults that say it is so hard to make it on $300K/year because of the DC COL. I am not diminishing your circumstances, but they are beside the point to this conversation. All these people that say but but but maybe you will need private school. The truth is that very few families that can afford to live in a good school district “need” private school. It is a choice, one that people are free to make but they have to own that it is a choice for whatever reason, not a need.

The point is to grouse about his gloating about his easy lifestyle and wealth - life apparently hasn't hit him yet.
Someday it will.

Maybe, maybe not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to add, I realize this is a bit masturbatory. I know we have it easy, and I'm not looking for any positive feedback. I just get frustrated by the $300k "scraping by" posts and wanted to push back on it a bit.

Add a severely autistic DC or two to the mix and get back to us about how easy it is.

Obviously, rare medical issues and associated burdens will make it more difficult for anyone, at any income level.

Agreed -- however if you are making 300k a year you will be afforded more opportunities for your child than a family making 100k.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to add, I realize this is a bit masturbatory. I know we have it easy, and I'm not looking for any positive feedback. I just get frustrated by the $300k "scraping by" posts and wanted to push back on it a bit.

Add a severely autistic DC or two to the mix and get back to us about how easy it is.

Obviously, rare medical issues and associated burdens will make it more difficult for anyone, at any income level.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to add, I realize this is a bit masturbatory. I know we have it easy, and I'm not looking for any positive feedback. I just get frustrated by the $300k "scraping by" posts and wanted to push back on it a bit.

Add a severely autistic DC or two to the mix and get back to us about how easy it is.

But that is a special circumstance. OP was not responding to people that have unusual medical costs and saying suck it up you are doing fine, OP was responding to the adults that say it is so hard to make it on $300K/year because of the DC COL. I am not diminishing your circumstances, but they are beside the point to this conversation. All these people that say but but but maybe you will need private school. The truth is that very few families that can afford to live in a good school district “need” private school. It is a choice, one that people are free to make but they have to own that it is a choice for whatever reason, not a need.

And some people's kids do need private school. LD's, disabilities, your middle schooler on drugs, hanging out with the wrong kids instead of studying many reasons, a parent dying or being ill with cancer and the kid needing more personal attention and supervision (which is not given in public).
This is a simplistic thought process you've got going on here.

This is a WANT not a NEED.

The house bought in 2012 zoned for tolerable public schools is key. If this individual tried to buy now or God forbid 2005 through 2007 it would be a different story.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to add, I realize this is a bit masturbatory. I know we have it easy, and I'm not looking for any positive feedback. I just get frustrated by the $300k "scraping by" posts and wanted to push back on it a bit.

Add a severely autistic DC or two to the mix and get back to us about how easy it is.

But that is a special circumstance. OP was not responding to people that have unusual medical costs and saying suck it up you are doing fine, OP was responding to the adults that say it is so hard to make it on $300K/year because of the DC COL. I am not diminishing your circumstances, but they are beside the point to this conversation. All these people that say but but but maybe you will need private school. The truth is that very few families that can afford to live in a good school district “need” private school. It is a choice, one that people are free to make but they have to own that it is a choice for whatever reason, not a need.

And some people's kids do need private school. LD's, disabilities, your middle schooler on drugs, hanging out with the wrong kids instead of studying many reasons, a parent dying or being ill with cancer and the kid needing more personal attention and supervision (which is not given in public).
This is a simplistic thought process you've got going on here.

And when you've got one severely autistic kid who takes up all of your time and your other kid is getting beaten up at his allegedly wonderful MCPS public school what do you do??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to add, I realize this is a bit masturbatory. I know we have it easy, and I'm not looking for any positive feedback. I just get frustrated by the $300k "scraping by" posts and wanted to push back on it a bit.

Add a severely autistic DC or two to the mix and get back to us about how easy it is.

But that is a special circumstance. OP was not responding to people that have unusual medical costs and saying suck it up you are doing fine, OP was responding to the adults that say it is so hard to make it on $300K/year because of the DC COL. I am not diminishing your circumstances, but they are beside the point to this conversation. All these people that say but but but maybe you will need private school. The truth is that very few families that can afford to live in a good school district “need” private school. It is a choice, one that people are free to make but they have to own that it is a choice for whatever reason, not a need.

And some people's kids do need private school. LD's, disabilities, your middle schooler on drugs, hanging out with the wrong kids instead of studying many reasons, a parent dying or being ill with cancer and the kid needing more personal attention and supervision (which is not given in public).
This is a simplistic thought process you've got going on here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to add, I realize this is a bit masturbatory. I know we have it easy, and I'm not looking for any positive feedback. I just get frustrated by the $300k "scraping by" posts and wanted to push back on it a bit.

Add a severely autistic DC or two to the mix and get back to us about how easy it is.

But that is a special circumstance. OP was not responding to people that have unusual medical costs and saying suck it up you are doing fine, OP was responding to the adults that say it is so hard to make it on $300K/year because of the DC COL. I am not diminishing your circumstances, but they are beside the point to this conversation. All these people that say but but but maybe you will need private school. The truth is that very few families that can afford to live in a good school district “need” private school. It is a choice, one that people are free to make but they have to own that it is a choice for whatever reason, not a need.

The point is to grouse about his gloating about his easy lifestyle and wealth - life apparently hasn't hit him yet.
Someday it will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to add, I realize this is a bit masturbatory. I know we have it easy, and I'm not looking for any positive feedback. I just get frustrated by the $300k "scraping by" posts and wanted to push back on it a bit.

Add a severely autistic DC or two to the mix and get back to us about how easy it is.

But that is a special circumstance. OP was not responding to people that have unusual medical costs and saying suck it up you are doing fine, OP was responding to the adults that say it is so hard to make it on $300K/year because of the DC COL. I am not diminishing your circumstances, but they are beside the point to this conversation. All these people that say but but but maybe you will need private school. The truth is that very few families that can afford to live in a good school district “need” private school. It is a choice, one that people are free to make but they have to own that it is a choice for whatever reason, not a need.

Anonymous wrote:OP here to add, I realize this is a bit masturbatory. I know we have it easy, and I'm not looking for any positive feedback. I just get frustrated by the $300k "scraping by" posts and wanted to push back on it a bit.

Add a severely autistic DC or two to the mix and get back to us about how easy it is.

Cheers to the OP. I started an AMA inspired by yours. We're not in DC, but live the (very) good life on 100k. You've noted your willingness to bump up the charity, and I commend you on that. Take it from us--we do 12k, mostly to international charities--it's worth it.

OP Here. Yes the 529s are 60k and 10k/year TOTAL. I agree the 529s alone won't be enough to cover full freight at privates. We're aiming for the 529s to cover full freight at public. If they choose to go private, we'll have some choices about how to cover the "extra" (above public). Probably will be a combination of brokerage savings, cash flow, and student loans (so the kids appreciate the extra cost of private over public).

OP --Did you say you have 60,000 and in 529 and are putting in 10,000 per year --was that for each child or the total for both? If for each, your in great shape. If total, your fine if state schools or you'll use taxable investments certainly, but I am not sure if the 529 alone will cover two privates. If the returns of recent years continue that might give you any option, but if there are market rises and falls along the way I'm not sure that covers a private option for both. A 4 year private today over 60,000 per year --and probably more --so a quarter million per kid without financial aid--and of course that will go up substantially in 10 years. Of course, no one needs to go to such a school --there are state options, some good privates schools that offer merit aid (but not many any more.) OP you are doing great and better than probably 98% of your age peers, but between college and the uncertainty of aging parents, etc., I appreciate how some folks feel uncertain. And your kids are very young--that private school bug still may bite down the road. Lots of parents go that way not because they think it will get their kid into Harvard or because their kid has major special needs, but just because he/she learns much better and is socially happier in a small private school community. I get the folks who are tired of whining posters on DCUM making multiple six figure salaries, but I also get that many things can change on a dime.