I don't have much advice for your friend, but I wanted to address this idea that gaining any weight after marriage just means you're lazy and have given up / let go and it's a marriage-killer.

I met DH when I was 22 years old, 5'8" and 120lbs. Not anorexic, but slender by any standard. I was active, loved hiking and skiing and stuff, but didn't spend hours at the gym and definitely enjoyed my share of junk food. I was just lucky to have a high metabolism. DH found me physically attractive, but also liked that I was (in his words) "not high maintenance". Meaning, I could get ready for the day in 10 minutes, didn't obsess over hours of exercise, and was happy to join him for a trip to the ice cream parlor on a hot Saturday afternoon.

Fast forward almost 20 years, and my metabolism has significantly changed. I've cut way back on sweets and carbs, but not eliminated them entirely. I've added a gym workout twice a week. Even so, I'm up to 145 lbs - a gain of 25 lbs since we met. I'm still a healthy BMI, look decent in a bikini, and enjoy all of the physical activities that I've always done (and even added some). But to really maintain 120 lbs, I'd need a drastic change in diet and lifestyle. I think those changes would bother DH more than the 25 lbs does. Thankfully, he is supportive off whatever balance I choose to strike. But he liked my personality and lifestyle when I was 22, and wouldn't want me to have to completely change those in order to maintain some arbitrary number on the scale.

not only does your weight matter, but the weight of your parents.

Men want thin, young/fair, and pretty

Men want not-fat, not-old, and pretty.

Anonymous wrote:intelligent, kind and outgoing friend. ... pretty face and is perfect on paper; well educated, makes a great salary, and is sexually open ... probably 50 lbs overweight. ... Is DC a particularly difficult dating pool for overweight women?

It is frustrating how clueless and self-centered women can be about dating. Men largely don't care about women's education and salary. Educated often means snobby. High salary means that she will have higher expectations, even though the man pays for dates. It is a red flag that you would even write the suspiciously vague "perfect on paper". That suggests she has a checklist that demands a man who is "perfect on paper".

Women want tall, dark, and handsome. Men want thin, young/fair, and pretty. Women don't like bald men, and men prefer long hair.

At 50 pounds overweight, your friend is around the 90th percentile for weight. That corresponds to a man who is 5'7". If you don't expect her to enthusiastically date men who are 5'6", then don't expect most men to date her.

She should just go to OKCupid with professional photos, and a short, vague, feminine profile that says she loves fun, laughter, fun, sunshine, puppies, love, and fun. She can add a few personal interests or photo "hooks" to help dumb guys think of a pertinent message.
She will be deluged with messages.

http://yoga-dates.com/hack-online-dating-amy-webb/
https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures-41bedf26e4d
http://www.metro.us/lifestyle/okcupid-hacks-five-lessons-from-a-math-genius/tmWnaz---0aY8dSGFATDJE

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say that some guy posted here that he was a 40 year old truck driver, no degree, making $40K per year, but he he has a six-pack (the abdominal kind), so he couldn't understand why he can't find an attractive woman to marry him in DC. This is basically what OP's friend looks like from a male perspective. You would almost certainly advice him to either go back to school and get a degree, or to lower his standards.

He wouldn't have this issue. He'd lie about his job and his social economic status, he'd lay the wood to these women and then he'd move on to the next victim.

Hahaha. If that strategy was ever viable, Google destroyed it.

Is she open to dating very overweight men? If so, I think she should focus on them. Less judgement, more in common, probably/possibly less vain (but no guarantee). Otherwise, work with a doctor, nutritionist and personal trainer to lose the weight. It's a huge project, requires a lot of determination and dedication (including changes to diet, schedules, habits, on top of will power that also needs to be practiced first to be successful) but it can be done and is personally very satisfying.