Man this thread makes me glad I got married at 29, 8 years ago. I don't see anything wrong with dating within your race or religion. Did it myself. I'm Jewish, wanted to prioritize marrying a Jewish man or else a non-Jewish man who would agree to raise his children Jewish. Met my husband on JDate, the end. I don't see anything wrong with dating outside your race or religion either. My sister married a Latino guy. Makes for more potential marital problems since he's not Jewish and she wants to raise the kids Jewish, but that's their issue to work out. He's a nice guy and he makes her happy, so that makes the rest of the family happy.

Personally, the people I know who married in their late 20s and early 30s and who are happy prioritized compatibility and personality over finances, looks, and sexual chemistry (with one exception -- friends who had a one-night stand and had such chemistry they started dating and eventually got married). My single friends who are late-30s sleep with guys on the first or second date and then complain they can't find a good guy. To me it seems obvious that a guy who expects sex so early in the relationship is either not genuinely interested, or prioritizing the physical over other aspects of life. That kind of guy is probably hot but seems, to me, less likely to make a good family man. My friends also have very high standards with regard to the guy's looks and job, even when they are not necessarily perfect-looking themselves. Personally I think a guy's personality is more important than his looks or job. I would date a genuinely nice plumber or teacher over an asshole doctor or lawyer. (And I am a lawyer.) But my single friends -- who are white and Christian, by the way -- won't even consider guys who don't match them in education.

I think it's more a late-30s women thing than a racial thing, though I'm sure there are trends within racial or religious communities. I imagine single late-30s or 40s guys have their own hangups, but I don't have any friends or colleagues in this demographic.

Anonymous wrote:Op I remembered your thread after what happened last night -

Met a Pakistani woman who fits your profile exactly. Surgeon, Looks like she lived in a barre studio full time, 37, never married.

We met at a restaurant waiting for our separate tables and hit it off, we met up later that evening for a drink and she thought I was some big time banker or tech person (I did go to hypsm and worked at a hedge fund for a while but I teach in high school now). Anyways I deflected when she asked what I did and she was still interested otherwise. Before the end of the evening I told her and her face dropped - it looked like she just found out her grandmother or something died.

We still banged that night but I deleted her number the next morning.

Chicks like that only "settle" for a dude making 400k/year minimum, has less than 10% body fat and who will put up with her overbearing foreign families that are ultra materialistic and status climbers.

Yeah - no thanks. These chicks are perfect to pump and dump and you can go raw without worry because no way she'll want an oops baby.

Wow you are gross, but you seem oddly bitter. Is it because the surgeon got what she wanted out of you too? Sex without ever having to deal with you again? Do you feel used?

Anonymous wrote:^^^
While I agree with you, I do not think you're anything other than a bitter black woman.

Sellout??? Said no white woman ever.

Nice try but I don't black white/non-black women are outraged at the horrible attitude black 'men' have towards their woman. Why would they? It's not their fight and they 'benefit' from that self-loathing attitude.

After not getting a response last week, I see you came back spewing the same Angry Black Woman BS.

Forget about what black men want and focus on who wants YOU!

I meant I don't *think* white/nonblack women...

PS: 'exotic' is a dead giveaway too. At least own your anger as a black woman instead of thinking ppl will fall for a white woman being so passionate about AA men attitude towards AA women.

^^^
While I agree with you, I do not think you're anything other than a bitter black woman.

Sellout??? Said no white woman ever.

Nice try but I don't black white/non-black women are outraged at the horrible attitude black 'men' have towards their woman. Why would they? It's not their fight and they 'benefit' from that self-loathing attitude.

After not getting a response last week, I see you came back spewing the same Angry Black Woman BS.

Forget about what black men want and focus on who wants YOU!

Anonymous wrote:High Achieving early 30's black male here who is single. I have dated many of these AA high achieving women and this has been my experience. Most of them have no depth. My most common takeway is "Great you have all these degrees, you're still boring and not that interesting. Your job isn't your passion and out side of work and the common bougie minority woman activities of traveling and brunch, they're not that in tune with themselves or what they want. Some of them want a guy who is an accessory and not a partner. Others have baggage from failed relationships, or just finally discovering who they are after spending most of their 20's in school. Women are interesting, and the high achieving minority AA female is probably the most interesting in that her accomplishments are often times an inverse portrait of her self esteem when it comes to personal self worth outside of job/career/education.

I may be different though the degree thing isnt that important to me, I dont have a single woman in my family who either at least doesnt have a Masters (just one) / MD / DDS / PHD / JD or MBA from a top 10 institution. So smart women dont intimidate me, most of them just dont pass muster to the women in my life.

Wow. Just wow. You are the quintessential Sellout. The cliche black women deal with on a daily basis. You are the problem with the black race. You never hear men of other races stick their nose up at their women because the women have education, good careers, and fun hobbies. Leave it to a black man to turn down the perfectly good women in his own race. Why, because you don't think their hobbies are fun? That is what's shallow.

This same black man, probably dates white or "exotic" looking women, who don't hold a candle to the available black women in his life. But yet, the black women are the problem? No, sir, YOU are the problem.

I'm a white woman, and so disgusted reading that response. Now I see the shallow bullshit my black female friends have to deal with from the men in their own race. The educated black men seem to think they are too good for the educated black women that are on their same level. You don't see this happen in any other race.

Black men are the sole problem for families breaking down within the black race, and don't want to be the solution to fixing it. They'd rather run to the white people and try to fit in. Sellouts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ PS, if AA men approach you a lot, it's not because you could hope to keep one. It's more likely their rejection that sparks your castrating words. A woman scorned ......

This is 2017 and the cat is out of the bag. AA men are easy as long as you aren't black. The PP could be ugly as shit, but as long as she wasn't black she could have her pick of AA men with very few exceptions. And if you are reading this and you are the rare exception, sorry blame your peers.

Most black men are married to black women. Many look at professional athletes when spouting your theory, but you must remember they make up less than 1% of the population. And it seems that many more of the newer black male athletes have married black/minority women as well.

Nothing is funnier to me than seeing one or two white women show up at black cultural events, likely expecting the men to trip over her--only to be ignored. In a room full of beautiful black women many cannot hold a candle to the exotic allure. Most men attend such events to meet BLACK women.

Between the novelty of white women wearing off, more blacks becoming "conscious" (even tons of black women wearing their hair natural), black women becoming more focused on health and staying in shape, social media assaulting us with racist attacks against blacks, etc...I don't know what it is but I don't think your assessment is as true of black men/white women as it once was.

The previous post had nothing to do with black women. If men want to speak up for themselves then you should let them dear. But the topic was AA men and their embarrassing tendencies that are a reflection of them alone, not AA women. Everyone sees it and it has nothing to do with athletes or tired talking points about non-existent marriage rates.

Put a fat and ugly (anything but black) woman in a room next to a slim and beautiful AA woman and the AA men will be embarrassing themselves by disrespecting the AA woman and bowing down to the ugly one. The cat is out of the bag. If you want it back in then tell AA to shutup and have some decency.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ PS, if AA men approach you a lot, it's not because you could hope to keep one. It's more likely their rejection that sparks your castrating words. A woman scorned ......

This is 2017 and the cat is out of the bag. AA men are easy as long as you aren't black. The PP could be ugly as shit, but as long as she wasn't black she could have her pick of AA men with very few exceptions. And if you are reading this and you are the rare exception, sorry blame your peers.

Most black men are married to black women. Many look at professional athletes when spouting your theory, but you must remember they make up less than 1% of the population. And it seems that many more of the newer black male athletes have married black/minority women as well.

Nothing is funnier to me than seeing one or two white women show up at black cultural events, likely expecting the men to trip over her--only to be ignored. In a room full of beautiful black women many cannot hold a candle to the exotic allure. Most men attend such events to meet BLACK women.

Between the novelty of white women wearing off, more blacks becoming "conscious" (even tons of black women wearing their hair natural), black women becoming more focused on health and staying in shape, social media assaulting us with racist attacks against blacks, etc...I don't know what it is but I don't think your assessment is as true of black men/white women as it once was.

Anonymous wrote:White guy here married to a black woman. My family is conservative and religious and they have no issues with her. As far as her family...nice and accepting too. Both set of in/laws have different political views as do my wife and I for the most part, but I didn't marry her for that. Her views are hers and I respect that but we don't talk politics.


I usually didn't date black women. Usually white or Latino women, but met my wife in a gym and had to approach her. She did and still looks absolutely amazing. Her sisters married white guys too, maybe it's just their taste. Since I was the first in/law I'd like to think her sisters saw how awesome I was and out in a good word for us white dudes.

I never really tried to date minority women before. I didn't specifically not date then, it just never worked out. I know who I find attractive and just go for it regardless of race. Looks are important to me and have found in general Asian women don't do it for me, either do Indian women. By all is well with me, I married a keeper, and she's super sexy and smart.

Awww...this is all so sweet. So nice to hear from a gushing man who finds his wife attractive.

White guy here married to a black woman. My family is conservative and religious and they have no issues with her. As far as her family...nice and accepting too. Both set of in/laws have different political views as do my wife and I for the most part, but I didn't marry her for that. Her views are hers and I respect that but we don't talk politics.


I usually didn't date black women. Usually white or Latino women, but met my wife in a gym and had to approach her. She did and still looks absolutely amazing. Her sisters married white guys too, maybe it's just their taste. Since I was the first in/law I'd like to think her sisters saw how awesome I was and out in a good word for us white dudes.

I never really tried to date minority women before. I didn't specifically not date then, it just never worked out. I know who I find attractive and just go for it regardless of race. Looks are important to me and have found in general Asian women don't do it for me, either do Indian women. By all is well with me, I married a keeper, and she's super sexy and smart.

Anonymous wrote:^^ PS, if AA men approach you a lot, it's not because you could hope to keep one. It's more likely their rejection that sparks your castrating words. A woman scorned ......

This is 2017 and the cat is out of the bag. AA men are easy as long as you aren't black. The PP could be ugly as shit, but as long as she wasn't black she could have her pick of AA men with very few exceptions. And if you are reading this and you are the rare exception, sorry blame your peers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:20:22, 20:24, and 20:27 sure sound mad and hateful. Sock puppet much? At least let some time go by and try to vary your tone. As your hostile posts indicate, PP who gets approached by black men is on to something. The truth hurts.

Not 'hurt' at all, but what 'Something' is she on to? If you are hearing 'mad and hateful' you are clearly closed minded and willing to stay that way with respect to writing off an entire african American male population, just like the bigot I responded to in an attempt to wake them up out of their stupidity. Is that hateful? No, ending stupidity is a compassionate act. As long as there is even one AA male in the population that is good relationship material, you cannot write off an entire african American male population without, by definition, being a bigot. If a stand against bigotry offends you and leads you to tease or mock me for doing so, how very sad for you, how very sad you are. Whatever that bizarre "truth" is for you, you should reexamine it and consider whether you are a bigot, maybe from a bigoted background, and maybe it is time to change your bigoted attitudes. I don't know what color you are and I don't care. All I care about is that you and the other snobbish woman are bigots and should now as a good time to draw some finer distinctions and grow up. You are an embarassment to yourselves and are too thick to even see your own embarassment. Others may not care to take the time to point out your asinine thinking, it is easier to ignore bigots, but some days you just have to confront ignorance. Good luck with finding someone who will have you and keep you and with opening your mind.

NP here not related to this argument--

I just skimmed this.

But how can you be mad about someone writing off an entire AA male population when an entire educated female AA population was written off?????

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ PS, if AA men approach you a lot, it's not because you could hope to keep one. It's more likely their rejection that sparks your castrating words. A woman scorned ......

The only women who care about "keeping" AA men are AA women. AA men aren't prizes, sorry, and they come cheaply too. As long as you are not black, AA men will salivate after you like dogs. I can't keep them away from me at bars even though I have zero interest in them.

+100

Sadly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High Achieving early 30's black male here who is single. I have dated many of these AA high achieving women and this has been my experience. Most of them have no depth. My most common takeway is "Great you have all these degrees, you're still boring and not that interesting. Your job isn't your passion and out side of work and the common bougie minority woman activities of traveling and brunch, they're not that in tune with themselves or what they want. Some of them want a guy who is an accessory and not a partner. Others have baggage from failed relationships, or just finally discovering who they are after spending most of their 20's in school. Women are interesting, and the high achieving minority AA female is probably the most interesting in that her accomplishments are often times an inverse portrait of her self esteem when it comes to personal self worth outside of job/career/education.

I may be different though the degree thing isnt that important to me, I dont have a single woman in my family who either at least doesnt have a Masters (just one) / MD / DDS / PHD / JD or MBA from a top 10 institution. So smart women dont intimidate me, most of them just dont pass muster to the women in my life.

There's something very off about your claim that every high achieving woman of color you have ever met is lacking in depth and dragging baggage around. I have a very hard time believing that they are the problem. In fact, your statements are the exact sort of thing that men intimidated and offended by smart women like to say. I am not an AA woman, but AA men approach me a lot. I have definitely noticed that AA men more often than not have a certain hostility and envy of accomplished
women. It's sad, but I guess it makes sense considering that AA men are the least accomplished men in America.

I sooo agree with the bolded. It seems AA men see AA women as competition. I'm not surprised an AA man has this assessment of his AA women peers.

No highly educated, accomplished male of any other race speaks this way of their women. And race be damned, we all know that women are women and can be a bit much for a man to deal with. But somehow, white men seem to get on just well with their highly educated white women who can be just as shallow as any other women.

Black men really need to get it together, stop competing with and envying their women and start loving and uplifting them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All African (born and raised in Africa) women I've dated in DC have been high maintenance. Especially those from Sierra Leone, in my experience. It's not that they're consciously gold-digging, it's just an expectation that it is natural for the guy to be an ATM, 24/7.

Yeah in West African cultures, men generally take their provider role very seriously. Of course there are exceptions, I'm just speaking in general. There is an expectation that a man be very generous and contribute to personal "upkeep" so to speak. The woman is also expected to be highly educated, stylish, fit, and an excellent cook. That's just how it goes.

Agreed.

AA woman who's dated African men.

Even in 2017 most Africans are VERY conservative (they hold onto their traditions DEARLY) and take their roles as providers seriously. I've learned not to even reach for my purse when dealing with one of them. I've left my African man in the car to go into the store and buy something for myself, only to turn around to see him whipping out his wallet. He paid for my purchase then left the store and got back in the car.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I remembered your thread after what happened last night -

Met a Pakistani woman who fits your profile exactly. Surgeon, Looks like she lived in a barre studio full time, 37, never married.

We met at a restaurant waiting for our separate tables and hit it off, we met up later that evening for a drink and she thought I was some big time banker or tech person (I did go to hypsm and worked at a hedge fund for a while but I teach in high school now). Anyways I deflected when she asked what I did and she was still interested otherwise. Before the end of the evening I told her and her face dropped - it looked like she just found out her grandmother or something died.

We still banged that night but I deleted her number the next morning.

Chicks like that only "settle" for a dude making 400k/year minimum, has less than 10% body fat and who will put up with her overbearing foreign families that are ultra materialistic and status climbers.

Yeah - no thanks. These chicks are perfect to pump and dump and you can go raw without worry because no way she'll want an oops baby.

This is why women should not deal with loser men. Save access to your body for someone who has earned it. Guys like you are perfect to milk out of your small little check and then ghost before we get around to talking about your small little member. But that's only if desperate or extremely bored. You are good test subjects before moving on to bigger fish with bigger pockets.

The only thing she (and her type) are milking enthusiastically is my "small little" phallus. The joke is on them. I get a two-three rounds in over a night or couple of days and then next. Meanwhile, they rack up mileage holding out for 'the one'.

Your comment makes sense if the under 25 set, not the over 33 set.

New to this thread with no dog in this fight, but it's quite possible she had needs that she gladly used you to fulfill.

Chances are also great she gladly deleted your number the next day, knowing she wanted nothing to do with a low-earning HS teacher.

It's likely a win-win so why are you in here bragging like you got one over on her???? The dead grandma look should've told you that IF she did have sex with you, it would just be to get one off. Then she'd be off to find a large-wage earning surgeon to hold on on for a real relationship.

Women have needs that they fulfill via one night stands too you know.