I grew up saying it and still do. My kids say it as well. I don't believe I ever told them to, they just picked it up from us. I guess manners are quaint around here, but I think I'll keep it up anyways.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Well given some of the responses on here it does sound like some people do appreciate being sir'ed and ma'amed. Particularly if you are an older AA or someone from the south, I bet you would very much appreciate it. No, not every child has to say it but I certainly don't think it's going to offend anyone if OP's children say it. And if it does offend you, then you need to find some bigger problems.

It actually does offend some people to be called sir and ma'am -- just as some people like being called sir and ma'am.

And it is not polite to call somebody sir or ma'am if they don't want to be called sir or ma'am.

It offends them? Someone can have a preference to not be called or sir or ma'am without being offended by it, and they can tell the kids to just call them Janet or Bob.
How do you figure someone is *offended* by sir or ma'am? Sounds like you are reaching.

It isn't reaching at all. I said yes sir to a man and he was offended and said "please don't call me sir" So, yes there are people out there who do get offended. Be lucky you haven't run into them but, they are out there.

So that happened one time, yes?

My very Southern college roommate used to do this (more than 20 years ago now). One of her professors was German, and he asked asked her not to address him as "sir." He said it reminded him of his childhood in Nazi Germany. She never called him "sir" again! She did continue to address others that way.

I think there are other forms of respect than artificial titles. I hate the word ma'am and would not want to be referred to as that. I have a first name, please use it politely with a please and a thank-you and eye contact.
My kids call me mom, their friends can call me my first name.

My inlaws insist the kids call them by their first names (not grandma or grandpa, just first names). I think that is a bit weird but it is what they want so that is how my kids address them. it is respectful to call someone what they prefer to be called.

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't raised in the south and yes it does sound odd to me. It also strikes me as having racial undertones (though I understand that maybe it doesn't sound that way to those raised in the south where it is more common). It also sounds a little blue collar to me. I obviously don't have my children say "yes sir" or "yes ma'am", though it does seem more common where we now live in Virginia.

I also think it sounds a little weird to have kids call adults "Miss/Mr First Name". I'm fine with kids calling me by my first name.

How old are your kids?

I wasn't raised in the south and yes it does sound odd to me. It also strikes me as having racial undertones (though I understand that maybe it doesn't sound that way to those raised in the south where it is more common). It also sounds a little blue collar to me. I obviously don't have my children say "yes sir" or "yes ma'am", though it does seem more common where we now live in Virginia.

I also think it sounds a little weird to have kids call adults "Miss/Mr First Name". I'm fine with kids calling me by my first name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Well given some of the responses on here it does sound like some people do appreciate being sir'ed and ma'amed. Particularly if you are an older AA or someone from the south, I bet you would very much appreciate it. No, not every child has to say it but I certainly don't think it's going to offend anyone if OP's children say it. And if it does offend you, then you need to find some bigger problems.

It actually does offend some people to be called sir and ma'am -- just as some people like being called sir and ma'am.

And it is not polite to call somebody sir or ma'am if they don't want to be called sir or ma'am.

It offends them? Someone can have a preference to not be called or sir or ma'am without being offended by it, and they can tell the kids to just call them Janet or Bob.
How do you figure someone is *offended* by sir or ma'am? Sounds like you are reaching.

It isn't reaching at all. I said yes sir to a man and he was offended and said "please don't call me sir" So, yes there are people out there who do get offended. Be lucky you haven't run into them but, they are out there.

Anonymous wrote:It's certainly not just a "slave thing." Plenty of parents do this, but it's more concentrated in the South.

I'd let him take the lead on this, because with biracial (black) kids, he knows better than you how to raise them to be respectful in society.

I respectfully disagree with you. You act like the mother is not raising them as well. If he wanted the mother of his kids to raise the kids like he was then he would have married someone with similar background. Why should he get his way?

I don't live in the south, so no. It's just not the way people speak where I live. A prompt thank you and please, with eye contact? Absolutely.

That said I love love it when my friends from the south have kids who DO do this. It's precious, and I don't think harmful in any way, even if we choose not to do this.

My 70 YO mother is as Southern as the day is long, and she says 'Yes Ma'am' or 'Yes Sir' to anyone older than her. It's what good manners means to her. She expects it from my kids if they're talking fairly seriously, but not all banter is so formal.

AT what age can that stop?
When can the child call "Jim" "Jim" and not "Mr. Jones" or "Sir" or "Mr. Jim"?
Originally from the Midwest and never used the Sir Maam thing but did call teachers, and those in 'authority' Ms/Miss/Mrs/Mr Lastname. Still do when i see an old teacher.
However, parents of my friends were always just First name if i was good friends with the family or Mrs/Mr Lastname if i didn't know them well.
I maybe just grew up more in an area that is a bit more laid back but i think tone and intent is a much better indicator of respect than an arbitrary honorific. that is just me though.

I prefer for kids not to interrupt much more respectful than what they call me.

We expect it unless a specific adult requests our kids do otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:It is fake respect.

+1 and and sounds too slave to master speak to me.