Anonymous wrote:I started to read all of the thread, but ran out of time. Can someone please tell me why they are told to arrive later than others? I understand that is why the food is gone. I just don't understand why they are told to arrive late. Thanks in advance.
No, OP is told to arrive at a certain time and she does, trying to be punctual. My guess is that the rest of the family apparently is invited to come and help cook or set up and so they arrive early. Since OP and family travel a few hours to get there, my guess is that the rest of the family is local and OP's branch of the family is a distance away, so the local family is invited earlier to come and help cook and set up and OP is given the "dinner time." The local family come early, help set up, then eat when they want, which is before the official dinner time and so food is gone when OP arrives.
OP should leave a little earlier, get there earlier than the advertised dinner time and blame it on "wanting to leave extra time in case of traffic," and should plan on bringing something that her family will eat as a contribution so that if the food is gone, then there will be enough for her nuclear family to eat when they get there. It sounds like there won't be an issue with too much food even if she brings a substantial contribution.