Anonymous wrote:This is a very sad thread indeed, reflective of a certain desperation that characterizes our generation.

Here's what I want for my children: To be kind, considerate, contributing members of society, able to support themselves and any child/ren they bring into the world. To know how to work and be responsible for themselves and their loved ones. To be resilient and flexible and responsive to circumstances in which they find themselves. To love and to be lovable. To understand that happiness is not a goal in and of itself, but rather a by-product of a life lived in service to others and society.

Where they go to school is very much beside the point.

Bless your heart.

As a parochial school parent, I find that my children's school is constantly being bashed for "below standard academics". I feel like most of the angst comes from public school/independent parents. Catholic schools in my opinion offer superior educational opportunities but cost a fraction of what the independent schools cost. I believe that public school parents secretly worry that their public school isn't all it's cracked up to be so put down my kids school. Independent parents can't fathom that someone could pay 1/2 to 1/4 of the tuition that they pay and their kids still get a great education.

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Anonymous wrote:We never tell this to others but one of the reasons we send DC to an elite private school is b/c we want him to get into the most elite frat, eating club, secret society, etc at an Ivy.

Some of us care about stuff like that.

I secretly think lots of the parents at our private school are first generation social climbers without any real class. My family came over on the Mayflower, so this stuff is irrelevant to me. If you think elite frat = class, you've missed the point completely.

Besides, don't send your kid to private to get into an Ivy. He'd have a better chance from Whitman.

DS will be the fifth generation in our family to attend the Ivy and the fourth to join the same club... family tradition matters to us.

Currently DS attends public - the first person ever to attend public school. Gasp! He is in elementary school but will be switching over to the same private school for middle school that his grandfather attended and then to the private high school that his father, uncles, and his grandfather went to.

In your family, do you keep all this legacy a secret so that people won't wonder if your DC got in on his own merits or on this legacy affirmative action?

Not a secret. Why? We don't care how he gets in as long as he gets in. All our friends are various Ivy legacies too and we all assume our kids get in due to legacy status. No big deal. General admissions is less than 1 in 10, legacies 1 in 3 + extra points for big donors (which we are). Even for the most awesome candidate, everyone assumes they got in through legacy preferences if they are a legacy and they will be right. I have friends who work in admissions.

Thank goodness I don't run into many people like you at our private....that said, anyone remotely resembling your remarks would be someone I'd smile and be pleasant to and then move on. You appear to have no substance and no desire to - plus no desire for your children to either. All label and status...

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Anonymous wrote:We never tell this to others but one of the reasons we send DC to an elite private school is b/c we want him to get into the most elite frat, eating club, secret society, etc at an Ivy.

Some of us care about stuff like that.

I secretly think lots of the parents at our private school are first generation social climbers without any real class. My family came over on the Mayflower, so this stuff is irrelevant to me. If you think elite frat = class, you've missed the point completely.

Besides, don't send your kid to private to get into an Ivy. He'd have a better chance from Whitman.

DS will be the fifth generation in our family to attend the Ivy and the fourth to join the same club... family tradition matters to us.

Currently DS attends public - the first person ever to attend public school. Gasp! He is in elementary school but will be switching over to the same private school for middle school that his grandfather attended and then to the private high school that his father, uncles, and his grandfather went to.

yuck

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Anonymous wrote:This is a very sad thread indeed, reflective of a certain desperation that characterizes our generation.

Here's what I want for my children: To be kind, considerate, contributing members of society, able to support themselves and any child/ren they bring into the world. To know how to work and be responsible for themselves and their loved ones. To be resilient and flexible and responsive to circumstances in which they find themselves. To love and to be lovable. To understand that happiness is not a goal in and of itself, but rather a by-product of a life lived in service to others and society.

Where they go to school is very much beside the point.

I could not agree more. But sadly, you are dead on in that these attributes are not just discounted but denigrated by our culture.

I would like to be friends with both of you.

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Anonymous wrote:Would now be the time to say that my 16 year old daughter told her public schooled cousin to "beat the stereotype, don't be it"?

Only if you can also explain what your 16-year-old daughter meant by this.

She finds public school kids to be ignorant, inarticulate, and completely lacking in education. It frustrates her when they can name who Miley twerked on but not the Vice President, can memorize lyrics but not anything school related, etc.

She sounds like a real peach. You must be so proud!

Agree with above PP. You must be proud that you are raising an elitist snob. I would be horrified if my private school children ever uttered something so crass.

I can't figure out who sounds more crass and ignorant, the 16-year-old DD or the child's parent who is posting this on DCUM. I bet that was a troll.

Anonymous wrote:You know what I love about DCUM, in general, and threads such as this specifically? The fixation with Ivy League schools. Like attending a state college would be the death of everything and doom a child to a lifetime of unfulfilled dreams/potential!

What I love is how little they actually KNOW about either top private or Ivy schools.

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Anonymous wrote:Would now be the time to say that my 16 year old daughter told her public schooled cousin to "beat the stereotype, don't be it"?

Only if you can also explain what your 16-year-old daughter meant by this.

She finds public school kids to be ignorant, inarticulate, and completely lacking in education. It frustrates her when they can name who Miley twerked on but not the Vice President, can memorize lyrics but not anything school related, etc.

In addition to the arrogance factor, this is also just a really overly broad inaccurate generalization. She's 16? Doesn't sound very smart. She's going to be schooled when she gets to college and finds all those public school kids who worked their way there and will outperform her.

Anonymous wrote:This is a very sad thread indeed, reflective of a certain desperation that characterizes our generation.

Here's what I want for my children: To be kind, considerate, contributing members of society, able to support themselves and any child/ren they bring into the world. To know how to work and be responsible for themselves and their loved ones. To be resilient and flexible and responsive to circumstances in which they find themselves. To love and to be lovable. To understand that happiness is not a goal in and of itself, but rather a by-product of a life lived in service to others and society.

Where they go to school is very much beside the point.

I could not agree more. But sadly, you are dead on in that these attributes are not just discounted but denigrated by our culture.

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This! I hate discussing schools with people. It is a conversation riddled with ego land mines. I don't care what people think about my choice but I don't like it when people think my choice is a rejection of theirs.

My feelings exactly!

I've had friends come right out and tell me that we're making a mistake by sending our child to public school, that even what we consider to be a good public school will almost definitely fail us, and that we'll only be happy in a private school. We don't have high enough HHI to feel comfortable going private. So now we're left feeling like we're sending our kid to a crappy school, but without the resources to do otherwise. awesome.

Please don't take those friends' words to heart. We all make the best decisions we can based on the information and resources we have. The reflexive response seems to be to feel there's some kind of inherent criticism in other people's choices. It's the anxiety response. It's not about you, but about them. And FWIW, we've had people tell us it's a mistake to send our DC to private school, so this goes both ways. DC is all about the anxiety and competition.

If you makes you feel any better, we are at a Big 3 school and while when we first began there I didn't feel there was a different between the very wealthy and everyone else. Unfortunately, just being honest, we can start to really see a difference and a group of families that were not there when we started have at the school are very cliquey (all live near each other, go to the same club, etc…, carpool, etc...) and because they span over a few different grades with their children people can start to feel a negative difference at the school. So point being, even though we are supposedly in the "right" school - not sure how it will pan out for us and our child because if she is not happy socially - that is a strong component of success at a school so we now need to be aware of it.

This is a very sad thread indeed, reflective of a certain desperation that characterizes our generation.

Here's what I want for my children: To be kind, considerate, contributing members of society, able to support themselves and any child/ren they bring into the world. To know how to work and be responsible for themselves and their loved ones. To be resilient and flexible and responsive to circumstances in which they find themselves. To love and to be lovable. To understand that happiness is not a goal in and of itself, but rather a by-product of a life lived in service to others and society.

Where they go to school is very much beside the point.

I think the "parent" of the "16 year old daughter" is a troll. Nobody would encourage their kid to trash talk less privileged kids this way. Nobody sane, that is.

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Anonymous wrote:Would now be the time to say that my 16 year old daughter told her public schooled cousin to "beat the stereotype, don't be it"?

Only if you can also explain what your 16-year-old daughter meant by this.

She finds public school kids to be ignorant, inarticulate, and completely lacking in education. It frustrates her when they can name who Miley twerked on but not the Vice President, can memorize lyrics but not anything school related, etc.

She sounds like a real peach. You must be so proud!

Agree with above PP. You must be proud that you are raising an elitist snob. I would be horrified if my private school children ever uttered something so crass.

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Anonymous wrote:Would now be the time to say that my 16 year old daughter told her public schooled cousin to "beat the stereotype, don't be it"?

Only if you can also explain what your 16-year-old daughter meant by this.

She finds public school kids to be ignorant, inarticulate, and completely lacking in education. It frustrates her when they can name who Miley twerked on but not the Vice President, can memorize lyrics but not anything school related, etc.

Ouch! Maybe the fault lies with your extended family? They could be hilly-billies and you are blaming public school?

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Anonymous wrote:Would now be the time to say that my 16 year old daughter told her public schooled cousin to "beat the stereotype, don't be it"?

Only if you can also explain what your 16-year-old daughter meant by this.

She finds public school kids to be ignorant, inarticulate, and completely lacking in education. It frustrates her when they can name who Miley twerked on but not the Vice President, can memorize lyrics but not anything school related, etc.

She sounds like a real peach. You must be so proud!

I'm wondering who is more of an a$$ in this picture -- the supposed "16-yr-old DD" or the PP who is representing herself as the parent of said DD. I'm guessing the "16-yr-old DD" is fictional. Even if this DD exists, the PP claiming to be the "parent" sounds like a really mean girl, one of those intolerant a$$es who exagerrates and makes stuff up just to make herself feel better.