Anonymous wrote:"That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it."

Why did your DH have a child?

I'm the PP who said that the working world doesn't accept people taking multiple breaks from their careers. The response was that my career is more important than my child and I shouldn't have children. I'm sorry you feel that way.

My mother worked full time and I went to day care. My grandmother, who was born in 1918, worked full time (in a factory). So none of them should have had children? You really believe that the world would be better for your children if only upper middle class people reproduced? You really believe that? You really believe that your daughters will be better off if only men had high-powered careers (ie, politicians, judges, surgeons, physicists, economists)? You really believe the world would be better that way?

In terms of raising my children, my children have personality traits that are exactly like my husband and me (for better or worse). My eldest son loves to read just like me. My middle son love to tinker with mechanical things like his father. Why is it that they have taken after their parents and not their infant day care providers if the day care providers raised them? They do not imitate their preschool Montessori teachers, but they very much imitate us. They have our religion and cultural values that originate in our countries of origin. Their day care providers were Americans, but they have our cultural characteristics. How can that be if we didn't raise them?

Please explain. I'm very confused.

"As does everyone else on this board you fucking bitch. And yes, you do in fact suck on every level. Just saying no doesn't make it so. The reason name calling doesn't affect you is that you're truly dumb. Truly, truly, truly dumb. And a bitch. Those two things together just make a very ignorant person. Which you just keep showing over and over and over."

We ought to try not to get so upset because then it makes it seem as though we aren't entirely at peace with our choices. And it suggests to her that she's struck a nerve. If we really didn't believe anything she said, then we'd react with indifference instead of anger.

Anonymous wrote:"That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it."

Why did your DH have a child?

DH and I share the same values, morals and principles. We also make the same money. The difference is that I make milk and he doesn't so we decided it would be smarter if I stayed home instead of him. It works for us.

"That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it."

Why did your DH have a child?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:For those of you who abhor daycare, has it occurred to you that when you need emergency medical care for your child - and it has or will happen to all of us - the medical personnel who take of your family probably had their children (at some pint) in daycare?

I'm the poster called a cunt. I never said women should be hidden in the house forever after having children. My point is that women should be encouraged to stay home with their infants and toddlers until they're ready for social interaction and craving this kind of stimulation. A 6mo old does not need that.

I understand your point, but it is not that easy for any professional to come in and out of the workforce at will. If you leave your job for two years, you're unlikely to get it back at the same pay level, if at all. The work world just doesn't work that way.

That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it.

You are truly a vile human being, and I can see it now, your reaction is "what? Who? Me? I'm just sayin'" No, you're not. You're a total bitch with bad intentions and just an overall crappy person. I hope you enjoy hearing that as much as you think people enjoy hearing your bullshit about who's worthy of having children. I want to continue to call you every name in the book, but you're too stupid to see how vile you are so it won't matter. And yes, I stayed home with my daughter, so no, this isn't coming from a "guilt" thing that you'll probably try to throw back at me. You suck on EVERY level.

No. The reason why your name calling doesn't affect me is because I know for sure that my approach is the best for my family and no anonymous person on a virtual world will make me feel shaky for my decisions in real life

As does everyone else on this board you fucking bitch. And yes, you do in fact suck on every level. Just saying no doesn't make it so. The reason name calling doesn't affect you is that you're truly dumb. Truly, truly, truly dumb. And a bitch. Those two things together just make a very ignorant person. Which you just keep showing over and over and over.

Someone needs a chill pill...

Someone needs to find a brain. I hope your children are being raised by someone other than you. They would be way better off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will you be home schooling, OP?

The first years of life are when the vast majority of all brain development and all learning takes place. The early years set the foundation for he rest of the child's life. Once they are school age, it adds to it but really it is those first few years of life that matter the most in who your child will be.

Tell that to a parent of middle schooler.

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Anonymous wrote:

So how do you define whether a person - I am assuming you mean men as well as women - thinks their career is more important than their kids? Just by choosing to work full time?

No. By choosing to work INSTEAD of spending time with their children. If you NEED to work full time and spend all the child's awaken hours away you should not have had a child in the first place. It's not fair with them.

I am guessing you mean if you DON'T NEED to work full time rather than if you do need to. Or maybe not? I'm confused.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if you wake up, get the child ready, take them somewhere, stay out all day long, pick them up feed them dinner and put them to sleep you're NOT raising your child.

Oh really? Just who is paying for everything, planning developmentally appropriate activities, instilling abstract values like religion? I guess you're not really married, since you only see your husband at nights and weekends.

You think that paying for childcare is mothering???

She's asking about your DH, and the DHs of so many SAHMs on this board who work the same hours as WOTH moms, if not longer hours (Big Law dads are dime a dozen in our NW neighborhood--most work 60-70 hour weeks). Let me try to clarify it out for you: Do you consider DH a bad father because he works full-time? Because most of these dads who work in jobs that pay enough so that DW can SAH do NOT "wake up, get the child ready, take them somewhere, stay out all day long, pick them up feed them dinner and put them to sleep." Maybe you need to have a talk with your DH because right under your own nose, your life parter is, according to your own standards, "NOT raising your child."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who abhor daycare, has it occurred to you that when you need emergency medical care for your child - and it has or will happen to all of us - the medical personnel who take of your family probably had their children (at some pint) in daycare?

I'm the poster called a cunt. I never said women should be hidden in the house forever after having children. My point is that women should be encouraged to stay home with their infants and toddlers until they're ready for social interaction and craving this kind of stimulation. A 6mo old does not need that.

I understand your point, but it is not that easy for any professional to come in and out of the workforce at will. If you leave your job for two years, you're unlikely to get it back at the same pay level, if at all. The work world just doesn't work that way.

That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it.

You are truly a vile human being, and I can see it now, your reaction is "what? Who? Me? I'm just sayin'" No, you're not. You're a total bitch with bad intentions and just an overall crappy person. I hope you enjoy hearing that as much as you think people enjoy hearing your bullshit about who's worthy of having children. I want to continue to call you every name in the book, but you're too stupid to see how vile you are so it won't matter. And yes, I stayed home with my daughter, so no, this isn't coming from a "guilt" thing that you'll probably try to throw back at me. You suck on EVERY level.

No. The reason why your name calling doesn't affect me is because I know for sure that my approach is the best for my family and no anonymous person on a virtual world will make me feel shaky for my decisions in real life

As does everyone else on this board you fucking bitch. And yes, you do in fact suck on every level. Just saying no doesn't make it so. The reason name calling doesn't affect you is that you're truly dumb. Truly, truly, truly dumb. And a bitch. Those two things together just make a very ignorant person. Which you just keep showing over and over and over.

Someone needs a chill pill...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if you wake up, get the child ready, take them somewhere, stay out all day long, pick them up feed them dinner and put them to sleep you're NOT raising your child.

Oh really? Just who is paying for everything, planning developmentally appropriate activities, instilling abstract values like religion? I guess you're not really married, since you only see your husband at nights and weekends.

You think that paying for childcare is mothering???

When do you instill religion? When you go to church and drop them off at Sunday School? What developmentally appropriate activities? Those that daycare do every day with them?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if you wake up, get the child ready, take them somewhere, stay out all day long, pick them up feed them dinner and put them to sleep you're NOT raising your child.

Oh really? Just who is paying for everything, planning developmentally appropriate activities, instilling abstract values like religion? I guess you're not really married, since you only see your husband at nights and weekends.

You think that paying for childcare is mothering???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who abhor daycare, has it occurred to you that when you need emergency medical care for your child - and it has or will happen to all of us - the medical personnel who take of your family probably had their children (at some pint) in daycare?

I'm the poster called a cunt. I never said women should be hidden in the house forever after having children. My point is that women should be encouraged to stay home with their infants and toddlers until they're ready for social interaction and craving this kind of stimulation. A 6mo old does not need that.

I understand your point, but it is not that easy for any professional to come in and out of the workforce at will. If you leave your job for two years, you're unlikely to get it back at the same pay level, if at all. The work world just doesn't work that way.

That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

When you're home they're asleep, you also need sleep so you let them cry, put them in another room and just hope for them to sleep through the night... When do you actually spend time (raise) your child? When getting them ready in the morning and rushing them through a bath to get them to bad? I doubt it.

You are truly a vile human being, and I can see it now, your reaction is "what? Who? Me? I'm just sayin'" No, you're not. You're a total bitch with bad intentions and just an overall crappy person. I hope you enjoy hearing that as much as you think people enjoy hearing your bullshit about who's worthy of having children. I want to continue to call you every name in the book, but you're too stupid to see how vile you are so it won't matter. And yes, I stayed home with my daughter, so no, this isn't coming from a "guilt" thing that you'll probably try to throw back at me. You suck on EVERY level.

No. The reason why your name calling doesn't affect me is because I know for sure that my approach is the best for my family and no anonymous person on a virtual world will make me feel shaky for my decisions in real life

As does everyone else on this board you fucking bitch. And yes, you do in fact suck on every level. Just saying no doesn't make it so. The reason name calling doesn't affect you is that you're truly dumb. Truly, truly, truly dumb. And a bitch. Those two things together just make a very ignorant person. Which you just keep showing over and over and over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

So only those women who stay home with their children during the first year actually deserve to have children? Really?

Yup.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but if you wake up, get the child ready, take them somewhere, stay out all day long, pick them up feed them dinner and put them to sleep you're NOT raising your child.

Oh really? Just who is paying for everything, planning developmentally appropriate activities, instilling abstract values like religion? I guess you're not really married, since you only see your husband at nights and weekends.

Paying for everything is raising a child? BWAHAHAHA!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's why the work world should be more accepting of women taking breaks from their career. And if your job is so much more important that your child's first year why are you having a child anyway? That's the part that I don't get.

So only those women who stay home with their children during the first year actually deserve to have children? Really?

Actually, those who think that their career is more important than their kids don't deserve to have kids.

So how do you define whether a person - I am assuming you mean men as well as women - thinks their career is more important than their kids? Just by choosing to work full time?

No. By choosing to work INSTEAD of spending time with their children. If you NEED to work full time and spend all the child's awaken hours away you should not have had a child in the first place. It's not fair with them.