I do have etiquette books and have used them for reference. They don't help "on the spot", nor could they have taught me how to at least look like I know how to dance with a partner. When the ballroom-type dancing starts at an event, we leave since we don't know how.

Anonymous wrote:Just buy a manners book then. These classes don't teach anything. --- the former debutante, private school grad who also attended classes like this.

Not everyone feels the same way. Capital Cotillion is a class for dancing and a 5 minute manners lesson (how to write a thank you note, etc). I cannot believe how much is read into this. Go to the website and then go to one class and see whether it's as evil as portrayed here.

Signed,

a frumpy mom whose normal son goes to Capital Cotillion without serious repercussions to date but who will be on the look out.

Just buy a manners book then. These classes don't teach anything. --- the former debutante, private school grad who also attended classes like this.

I have spent much of my adult life wondering if I am doing the "correct" thing because I was NOT taught the finer points of etiquette growing up. Sure, I know the basics and we did not eat from feed bags growing up, but I could have used classes like that.

Anonymous wrote:Whew - the judgmental and highly negative attitudes some of you are displaying will be far more detrimental to your child's well being then attending a few manners oriented events. Ya'll need to lighten up - seriously - there are health risks associated w/being so tightly wound.

Some would say that those who are advocating their children participate in these archaic and classist organizations belong in the "tightly wound" category.

A sense of superiority and elite snobbery is exactly what these programs promote. That's why they advertise with "invitations" to kids who attend certain schools. I gag every time we get one of those in the mail. The best way to teach your kids manners is by modeling them yourself; that plus a little role-playing ("So, let's practice what you'll do and say when we introduce you to a friend of ours for the first time.") and encouragement is all it takes. These programs aren't about manners; they're about some 1950s-relic of an idea that you only want your children to associate with other people just like them. Get over it and join the 21st Century.

Whew - the judgmental and highly negative attitudes some of you are displaying will be far more detrimental to your child's well being then attending a few manners oriented events. Ya'll need to lighten up - seriously - there are health risks associated w/being so tightly wound.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's just one more way to instill a sense of superiority in your child. NOT a good idea -- especially if your child attends a private school already. --private school grad, former debutante who had to unlearn lessons of "superiority" over the course of many years.

I agree. Main reason why my children will not participate in these "lessons."

I think it's just one more way to instill a sense of superiority in your child. NOT a good idea -- especially if your child attends a private school already. --private school grad, former debutante who had to unlearn lessons of "superiority" over the course of many years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me want to gag as badly as I did reading the thread regarding one poster wanting make sure they would have enough bucks to eventually marry their daughter off.

I know - sad how small one's world becomes when the emphasis is on money

Don't read into "Cotillion" any more than this is - a nice series of events for young adults to learn the social graces.

"Young adults," these are kids.

Alright already. Don't read into "Cotillion" any more than this is - a nice series of events for young adults and kids to learn the social graces.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me want to gag as badly as I did reading the thread regarding one poster wanting make sure they would have enough bucks to eventually marry their daughter off.

I know - sad how small one's world becomes when the emphasis is on money

Don't read into "Cotillion" any more than this is - a nice series of events for young adults to learn the social graces.

"Young adults," these are kids.

It never hurts to have lessons taught at home reinforced in another setting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me want to gag as badly as I did reading the thread regarding one poster wanting make sure they would have enough bucks to eventually marry their daughter off.

I know - sad how small one's world becomes when the emphasis is on money

Don't read into "Cotillion" any more than this is - a nice series of events for young adults to learn the social graces.

Social graces can not be taught at home? What are your customs of eating dinner at home-- strap on a feedbag?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me want to gag as badly as I did reading the thread regarding one poster wanting make sure they would have enough bucks to eventually marry their daughter off.

I know - sad how small one's world becomes when the emphasis is on money

Don't read into "Cotillion" any more than this is - a nice series of events for young adults to learn the social graces.

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me want to gag as badly as I did reading the thread regarding one poster wanting make sure they would have enough bucks to eventually marry their daughter off.

I know - sad how small one's world becomes when the emphasis is on money