Anonymous wrote:Yes, I want my kid to attend the best possible school. So far, so good. But my experience in DC has felt a bit off compared to my experience overseas: paying $40,000 for childcare at NCRC partly to get access to top private schools, hiring consultants to prepare children for admissions, dealing with opaque selection processes that seem influenced by connections, and seeing schools treated as symbols of social status.

And then, when you finally get into a top private school, you realize that the college admissions numbers may be distorted by athletes and legacy admissions, and that the actual curriculum is not necessarily stronger than what good public schools offer. So at some point you have to ask: is it really worth obsessing over something that may offer such poor value?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

My kid was in a high income public elementary. A friend was stalked by a fetal alcohol kid in third grade, school said there was little they could do. A classmate in kindergarten hit, pushed and stabbed other kids with pencils and scissors --kid was emotionally neglected. Another child with special needs would have full fledged temper tantrums several times a week, which brought class to a halt, despite the presence of a one to one aide.

Our private both kicks out and counsels out kids with behavior problems. Have never experienced behavior remotely close to what we observed in our public elementary.

I’ve had similar experiences working in a very well regarded public K-2 while sending my own child to the parochial. Virtually all the parochial school kids are Catholic so we got some weird looks from neighbors sending our child to Catholic. What they didn’t know is what I saw in the public school daily:

-a class getting routinely evacuated for an emotionally disturbed kid

-same kid running the halls and sometimes shutting things down because he also tried to run outside (and school is at a busy intersection)

-kids routinely cursing at teachers and other adults, talking about topics related to sex and drugs, flipping the middle finger (and remember these are kids no older than 8!)

-kindergarteners wetting themselves and having to sit in their pee for the rest of the day because there was no nurse or because she wouldn’t call parents

-gym class being disturbed by a kid who threw chairs and gym equipment (consequence was taking a walk, skipping gym, and getting to eat a snack)

I could actually go on but I think you get the picture. I always planned to send my own child to public schools, but I didn’t know what public schools are like today. In a good day, the kids are all zoned out on their 1-to-1 iPads.

Yes, if you live in a bad public school district you might experience that. Fortunately I live I a good public school district.

It’s considered an excellent district, MC/UMC, and it’s mostly Catholic families who opt out. Even then for religious reasons. Probably 95% of families attend the public. I don’t think most parents know what is actually happening at school.

Most excellent school districts at the elementary level have very active parent associations with lots of in-school volunteering by parents. The public elementary school where my kids went had parents volunteer daily in the library, at recess, in the printer room, and do “mystery reader” things in the classroom. When there was an incident like a highly disruptive student, trust me the parents knew. It definitely happened, but the parents knew about it.

Of course, I recognize that many many many public schools do not have the resourcing or the parent engagement to have that level of parent volunteering. But most truly “excellent” public schools do.

All I am saying is that you can’t paint a broad brush on public schools based on one experience, even if it was quote / unquote “excellent.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

My kid was in a high income public elementary. A friend was stalked by a fetal alcohol kid in third grade, school said there was little they could do. A classmate in kindergarten hit, pushed and stabbed other kids with pencils and scissors --kid was emotionally neglected. Another child with special needs would have full fledged temper tantrums several times a week, which brought class to a halt, despite the presence of a one to one aide.

Our private both kicks out and counsels out kids with behavior problems. Have never experienced behavior remotely close to what we observed in our public elementary.

I’ve had similar experiences working in a very well regarded public K-2 while sending my own child to the parochial. Virtually all the parochial school kids are Catholic so we got some weird looks from neighbors sending our child to Catholic. What they didn’t know is what I saw in the public school daily:

-a class getting routinely evacuated for an emotionally disturbed kid

-same kid running the halls and sometimes shutting things down because he also tried to run outside (and school is at a busy intersection)

-kids routinely cursing at teachers and other adults, talking about topics related to sex and drugs, flipping the middle finger (and remember these are kids no older than 8!)

-kindergarteners wetting themselves and having to sit in their pee for the rest of the day because there was no nurse or because she wouldn’t call parents

-gym class being disturbed by a kid who threw chairs and gym equipment (consequence was taking a walk, skipping gym, and getting to eat a snack)

I could actually go on but I think you get the picture. I always planned to send my own child to public schools, but I didn’t know what public schools are like today. In a good day, the kids are all zoned out on their 1-to-1 iPads.

Yes, if you live in a bad public school district you might experience that. Fortunately I live I a good public school district.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

My kid was in a high income public elementary. A friend was stalked by a fetal alcohol kid in third grade, school said there was little they could do. A classmate in kindergarten hit, pushed and stabbed other kids with pencils and scissors --kid was emotionally neglected. Another child with special needs would have full fledged temper tantrums several times a week, which brought class to a halt, despite the presence of a one to one aide.

Our private both kicks out and counsels out kids with behavior problems. Have never experienced behavior remotely close to what we observed in our public elementary.

I’ve had similar experiences working in a very well regarded public K-2 while sending my own child to the parochial. Virtually all the parochial school kids are Catholic so we got some weird looks from neighbors sending our child to Catholic. What they didn’t know is what I saw in the public school daily:

-a class getting routinely evacuated for an emotionally disturbed kid

-same kid running the halls and sometimes shutting things down because he also tried to run outside (and school is at a busy intersection)

-kids routinely cursing at teachers and other adults, talking about topics related to sex and drugs, flipping the middle finger (and remember these are kids no older than 8!)

-kindergarteners wetting themselves and having to sit in their pee for the rest of the day because there was no nurse or because she wouldn’t call parents

-gym class being disturbed by a kid who threw chairs and gym equipment (consequence was taking a walk, skipping gym, and getting to eat a snack)

I could actually go on but I think you get the picture. I always planned to send my own child to public schools, but I didn’t know what public schools are like today. In a good day, the kids are all zoned out on their 1-to-1 iPads.

Yes, if you live in a bad public school district you might experience that. Fortunately I live I a good public school district.

It’s considered an excellent district, MC/UMC, and it’s mostly Catholic families who opt out. Even then for religious reasons. Probably 95% of families attend the public. I don’t think most parents know what is actually happening at school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

My kid was in a high income public elementary. A friend was stalked by a fetal alcohol kid in third grade, school said there was little they could do. A classmate in kindergarten hit, pushed and stabbed other kids with pencils and scissors --kid was emotionally neglected. Another child with special needs would have full fledged temper tantrums several times a week, which brought class to a halt, despite the presence of a one to one aide.

Our private both kicks out and counsels out kids with behavior problems. Have never experienced behavior remotely close to what we observed in our public elementary.

I’ve had similar experiences working in a very well regarded public K-2 while sending my own child to the parochial. Virtually all the parochial school kids are Catholic so we got some weird looks from neighbors sending our child to Catholic. What they didn’t know is what I saw in the public school daily:

-a class getting routinely evacuated for an emotionally disturbed kid

-same kid running the halls and sometimes shutting things down because he also tried to run outside (and school is at a busy intersection)

-kids routinely cursing at teachers and other adults, talking about topics related to sex and drugs, flipping the middle finger (and remember these are kids no older than 8!)

-kindergarteners wetting themselves and having to sit in their pee for the rest of the day because there was no nurse or because she wouldn’t call parents

-gym class being disturbed by a kid who threw chairs and gym equipment (consequence was taking a walk, skipping gym, and getting to eat a snack)

I could actually go on but I think you get the picture. I always planned to send my own child to public schools, but I didn’t know what public schools are like today. In a good day, the kids are all zoned out on their 1-to-1 iPads.

Yes, if you live in a bad public school district you might experience that. Fortunately I live I a good public school district.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

My kid was in a high income public elementary. A friend was stalked by a fetal alcohol kid in third grade, school said there was little they could do. A classmate in kindergarten hit, pushed and stabbed other kids with pencils and scissors --kid was emotionally neglected. Another child with special needs would have full fledged temper tantrums several times a week, which brought class to a halt, despite the presence of a one to one aide.

Our private both kicks out and counsels out kids with behavior problems. Have never experienced behavior remotely close to what we observed in our public elementary.

I’ve had similar experiences working in a very well regarded public K-2 while sending my own child to the parochial. Virtually all the parochial school kids are Catholic so we got some weird looks from neighbors sending our child to Catholic. What they didn’t know is what I saw in the public school daily:

-a class getting routinely evacuated for an emotionally disturbed kid

-same kid running the halls and sometimes shutting things down because he also tried to run outside (and school is at a busy intersection)

-kids routinely cursing at teachers and other adults, talking about topics related to sex and drugs, flipping the middle finger (and remember these are kids no older than 8!)

-kindergarteners wetting themselves and having to sit in their pee for the rest of the day because there was no nurse or because she wouldn’t call parents

-gym class being disturbed by a kid who threw chairs and gym equipment (consequence was taking a walk, skipping gym, and getting to eat a snack)

I could actually go on but I think you get the picture. I always planned to send my own child to public schools, but I didn’t know what public schools are like today. In a good day, the kids are all zoned out on their 1-to-1 iPads.

Yes, if you live in a bad public school district you might experience that. Fortunately I live I a good public school district.

I have not seen any of this at the public I teach at. And it’s not typically the best school in the district.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

My kid was in a high income public elementary. A friend was stalked by a fetal alcohol kid in third grade, school said there was little they could do. A classmate in kindergarten hit, pushed and stabbed other kids with pencils and scissors --kid was emotionally neglected. Another child with special needs would have full fledged temper tantrums several times a week, which brought class to a halt, despite the presence of a one to one aide.

Our private both kicks out and counsels out kids with behavior problems. Have never experienced behavior remotely close to what we observed in our public elementary.

I’ve had similar experiences working in a very well regarded public K-2 while sending my own child to the parochial. Virtually all the parochial school kids are Catholic so we got some weird looks from neighbors sending our child to Catholic. What they didn’t know is what I saw in the public school daily:

-a class getting routinely evacuated for an emotionally disturbed kid

-same kid running the halls and sometimes shutting things down because he also tried to run outside (and school is at a busy intersection)

-kids routinely cursing at teachers and other adults, talking about topics related to sex and drugs, flipping the middle finger (and remember these are kids no older than 8!)

-kindergarteners wetting themselves and having to sit in their pee for the rest of the day because there was no nurse or because she wouldn’t call parents

-gym class being disturbed by a kid who threw chairs and gym equipment (consequence was taking a walk, skipping gym, and getting to eat a snack)

I could actually go on but I think you get the picture. I always planned to send my own child to public schools, but I didn’t know what public schools are like today. In a good day, the kids are all zoned out on their 1-to-1 iPads.

Yes, if you live in a bad public school district you might experience that. Fortunately I live I a good public school district.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

My kid was in a high income public elementary. A friend was stalked by a fetal alcohol kid in third grade, school said there was little they could do. A classmate in kindergarten hit, pushed and stabbed other kids with pencils and scissors --kid was emotionally neglected. Another child with special needs would have full fledged temper tantrums several times a week, which brought class to a halt, despite the presence of a one to one aide.

Our private both kicks out and counsels out kids with behavior problems. Have never experienced behavior remotely close to what we observed in our public elementary.

I’ve had similar experiences working in a very well regarded public K-2 while sending my own child to the parochial. Virtually all the parochial school kids are Catholic so we got some weird looks from neighbors sending our child to Catholic. What they didn’t know is what I saw in the public school daily:

-a class getting routinely evacuated for an emotionally disturbed kid

-same kid running the halls and sometimes shutting things down because he also tried to run outside (and school is at a busy intersection)

-kids routinely cursing at teachers and other adults, talking about topics related to sex and drugs, flipping the middle finger (and remember these are kids no older than 8!)

-kindergarteners wetting themselves and having to sit in their pee for the rest of the day because there was no nurse or because she wouldn’t call parents

-gym class being disturbed by a kid who threw chairs and gym equipment (consequence was taking a walk, skipping gym, and getting to eat a snack)

I could actually go on but I think you get the picture. I always planned to send my own child to public schools, but I didn’t know what public schools are like today. In a good day, the kids are all zoned out on their 1-to-1 iPads.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

My kid was in a high income public elementary. A friend was stalked by a fetal alcohol kid in third grade, school said there was little they could do. A classmate in kindergarten hit, pushed and stabbed other kids with pencils and scissors --kid was emotionally neglected. Another child with special needs would have full fledged temper tantrums several times a week, which brought class to a halt, despite the presence of a one to one aide.

Our private both kicks out and counsels out kids with behavior problems. Have never experienced behavior remotely close to what we observed in our public elementary.

I’ve had similar experiences working in a very well regarded public K-2 while sending my own child to the parochial. Virtually all the parochial school kids are Catholic so we got some weird looks from neighbors sending our child to Catholic. What they didn’t know is what I saw in the public school daily:

-a class getting routinely evacuated for an emotionally disturbed kid

-same kid running the halls and sometimes shutting things down because he also tried to run outside (and school is at a busy intersection)

-kids routinely cursing at teachers and other adults, talking about topics related to sex and drugs, flipping the middle finger (and remember these are kids no older than 8!)

-kindergarteners wetting themselves and having to sit in their pee for the rest of the day because there was no nurse or because she wouldn’t call parents

-gym class being disturbed by a kid who threw chairs and gym equipment (consequence was taking a walk, skipping gym, and getting to eat a snack)

I could actually go on but I think you get the picture. I always planned to send my own child to public schools, but I didn’t know what public schools are like today. In a good day, the kids are all zoned out on their 1-to-1 iPads.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

My kid was in a high income public elementary. A friend was stalked by a fetal alcohol kid in third grade, school said there was little they could do. A classmate in kindergarten hit, pushed and stabbed other kids with pencils and scissors --kid was emotionally neglected. Another child with special needs would have full fledged temper tantrums several times a week, which brought class to a halt, despite the presence of a one to one aide.

Our private both kicks out and counsels out kids with behavior problems. Have never experienced behavior remotely close to what we observed in our public elementary.

Anonymous wrote:I have taught in both high-income private and medium/low-income public. Bad behavior in the private meant spoiled and obnoxious kids. Bad behavior in public meant neglected and angry kids. I’ll take the latter any day.

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that every “Is private school worth it?” thread focuses on college admissions outcomes. I attended public and private schools, and so has my kid, but IMO schools - esp at elementary/middle levels - are for character formation, instilling civic duty and pride, building foundations for lifelong learning. I want my kid to learn how to read, write, and think.

I found my small liberal arts private to be an amazing experience and I wanted the same kind of learning environment for my kid. I expect and want my young elementary aged kids to be reading Stuart Little and The Boxcar Children at school, not Dog Man and Junie B Jones. So for us, private is worth it. It might not be for your family, and that is ok. I know many families still in public who are very happy with their schools. I know that public systems often offer higher levels of math, which is not my priority. As long as AP Calc I and II/AP Stat are offered in high school, I think that is good enough.