Anonymous
03/30/2026 17:28
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not many people can finish undergrad and law school without owing anything. Your parents were loaded (or took on a lot of debt for you) and you greatly benefited from it. Not many people in that position.
Not loaded, but UMC. We didn't vacation in Europe or the Caribbean (in fact, our vacations were either staying with grandparents or camping), but we did get 100% of our education covered.
If your parents could fund 300-600k for one kid’s higher education expenses, they’re loaded. My parents never took us on fancy vacations either, it didn’t mean they weren’t wealthy.
How do you define UMC versus loaded? I think the line is around $5-10m in NW, and they were under it back when they were paying for our education. Loaded to me means you can afford to pay for your kids' education without making other major sacrifices.
Just out of curiosity... is one of your parents a doctor? I've encountered a number of people who have your perspective on money who are the kids of doctors and I feel like there is something specific about growing up a doctor's kid that leads to this outlook.
No. Blue collar business owners who didn't go to college but wanted better for their kids.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 17:25
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not many people can finish undergrad and law school without owing anything. Your parents were loaded (or took on a lot of debt for you) and you greatly benefited from it. Not many people in that position.
Not loaded, but UMC. We didn't vacation in Europe or the Caribbean (in fact, our vacations were either staying with grandparents or camping), but we did get 100% of our education covered.
If your parents could fund 300-600k for one kid’s higher education expenses, they’re loaded. My parents never took us on fancy vacations either, it didn’t mean they weren’t wealthy.
How do you define UMC versus loaded? I think the line is around $5-10m in NW, and they were under it back when they were paying for our education. Loaded to me means you can afford to pay for your kids' education without making other major sacrifices.
You think someone in their 50s with a net worth of $4 million isn’t loaded? That like at least the top 5% in the richest country on earth.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 17:09
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not many people can finish undergrad and law school without owing anything. Your parents were loaded (or took on a lot of debt for you) and you greatly benefited from it. Not many people in that position.
Not loaded, but UMC. We didn't vacation in Europe or the Caribbean (in fact, our vacations were either staying with grandparents or camping), but we did get 100% of our education covered.
If your parents could fund 300-600k for one kid’s higher education expenses, they’re loaded. My parents never took us on fancy vacations either, it didn’t mean they weren’t wealthy.
How do you define UMC versus loaded? I think the line is around $5-10m in NW, and they were under it back when they were paying for our education. Loaded to me means you can afford to pay for your kids' education without making other major sacrifices.
Just out of curiosity... is one of your parents a doctor? I've encountered a number of people who have your perspective on money who are the kids of doctors and I feel like there is something specific about growing up a doctor's kid that leads to this outlook.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 17:04
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not many people can finish undergrad and law school without owing anything. Your parents were loaded (or took on a lot of debt for you) and you greatly benefited from it. Not many people in that position.
Not loaded, but UMC. We didn't vacation in Europe or the Caribbean (in fact, our vacations were either staying with grandparents or camping), but we did get 100% of our education covered.
If your parents could fund 300-600k for one kid’s higher education expenses, they’re loaded. My parents never took us on fancy vacations either, it didn’t mean they weren’t wealthy.
How do you define UMC versus loaded? I think the line is around $5-10m in NW, and they were under it back when they were paying for our education. Loaded to me means you can afford to pay for your kids' education without making other major sacrifices.
Upper middle class people aren’t on track to retire with $5-$10 million at any point. So if they’re there now, they were very likely loaded when you were a student.
Based on federal reserve data, the 90th percentile net worth for someone aged 45-54 is $1.9 million to $2.3 million (including home equity). So anything at that level or higher is “loaded” for someone with college-aged kids.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 17:01
Subject: Re:When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP: What are your niece’s viable options financially? I can see why one might be disappointed, but I don’t understand all this drama over a “dream” school, when they likely have other very good options. How can one have a “dream” school before even attending one?
Because highly-compensated marketing professionals use all their skills and resources to induce teens to believe that they have a “dream” school, so that the teens will coerce their parents into spending more than is prudent.
I can’t believe people still haven’t stopped this nonsense after so many tragedies following the so-called Ivy day in the past!
Anonymous
03/30/2026 16:57
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not many people can finish undergrad and law school without owing anything. Your parents were loaded (or took on a lot of debt for you) and you greatly benefited from it. Not many people in that position.
Not loaded, but UMC. We didn't vacation in Europe or the Caribbean (in fact, our vacations were either staying with grandparents or camping), but we did get 100% of our education covered.
If your parents could fund 300-600k for one kid’s higher education expenses, they’re loaded. My parents never took us on fancy vacations either, it didn’t mean they weren’t wealthy.
How do you define UMC versus loaded? I think the line is around $5-10m in NW, and they were under it back when they were paying for our education. Loaded to me means you can afford to pay for your kids' education without making other major sacrifices.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 16:55
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't believe you
This is an odd post.
Under the circumstances OP has described, I don't believe an Ivy would require the parents to pay 75k. I just don't.
That is exactly what Ivies (excluding Princeton) ask of families such as described. We were in the same position last year with slightly higher income and the schools asked for between $63k and $72k. It’s obscene how bad the financial aid is at the Ivy league level.
Not to be a turd by why do the schools "owe" you aid? Going to an Ivy is a privilege, not a right. If you can't make it work, I'm sorry. Lots of other great schools out there that might be cheaper.
And sorry if people have multiple kids. Should have thought about that before having more kids (I feel a bit worse for those with twins). I knew what I wanted to be able to pay for for my kids and that having more than two kids would prohibit that, so we stopped at two. Three would have been nice but the sacrifices weren't worth it. Plus the fact that you get more aid if you have two kids in college at the same time but less if kids are further apart? That makes no sense.
Seriously! My spouse and I work hard and saved from when kids are little for college. No one owes this family anything, they could've saved.
The family realistically could not have saved *checks notes* $360,000 per kid (i.e. over $1,000,000).
If they started when young, yes, with stick market increases, come now.
We did on one income for most of it. Started when kids were babies. Had high medical expenses and housing is pricey here. But we drive our cars forever and didn’t take fancy vacations. I don’t buy jewelry or expensive handbags or shoes, Prioritized education,
Anonymous
03/30/2026 16:50
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Not many people can finish undergrad and law school without owing anything. Your parents were loaded (or took on a lot of debt for you) and you greatly benefited from it. Not many people in that position.
Not loaded, but UMC. We didn't vacation in Europe or the Caribbean (in fact, our vacations were either staying with grandparents or camping), but we did get 100% of our education covered.
If your parents could fund 300-600k for one kid’s higher education expenses, they’re loaded. My parents never took us on fancy vacations either, it didn’t mean they weren’t wealthy.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 16:29
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Not many people can finish undergrad and law school without owing anything. Your parents were loaded (or took on a lot of debt for you) and you greatly benefited from it. Not many people in that position.
Not loaded, but UMC. We didn't vacation in Europe or the Caribbean (in fact, our vacations were either staying with grandparents or camping), but we did get 100% of our education covered.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 16:26
Subject: Re:When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:OP: What are your niece’s viable options financially? I can see why one might be disappointed, but I don’t understand all this drama over a “dream” school, when they likely have other very good options. How can one have a “dream” school before even attending one?
Because highly-compensated marketing professionals use all their skills and resources to induce teens to believe that they have a “dream” school, so that the teens will coerce their parents into spending more than is prudent.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 16:23
Subject: Re:When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
OP: What are your niece’s viable options financially? I can see why one might be disappointed, but I don’t understand all this drama over a “dream” school, when they likely have other very good options. How can one have a “dream” school before even attending one?
Anonymous
03/30/2026 16:09
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think we have over 250k for two kids right now (over 500k total) and we've never put more than 6k in a year for each. Usually 4-5k.
We did invest it in the most aggressive options. we got lucky with returns.
Most middle class Americans can not afford to fund retirement for themselves, try to buy a house, pay for daycare AND have an extra $12,000 to put toward college. It isn't realistic for most middle to upper middle class parents unless they had family money to help them out with buying a house and/or childcare.
It's realistic for UMC parents if they don't have student loan debt. We didn't have family money to help us when buying a house or with childcare, but because we didn't have any student loan debt, we were able to buy a house in our late twenties after law/grad school, max out 401ks every year of our marriage, and save $10-19k per kid per year in their 529 plans.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess you make more than 200k annually and made that for at least the majority of your kids’ childhoods.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 16:03
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think we have over 250k for two kids right now (over 500k total) and we've never put more than 6k in a year for each. Usually 4-5k.
We did invest it in the most aggressive options. we got lucky with returns.
Most middle class Americans can not afford to fund retirement for themselves, try to buy a house, pay for daycare AND have an extra $12,000 to put toward college. It isn't realistic for most middle to upper middle class parents unless they had family money to help them out with buying a house and/or childcare.
It's realistic for UMC parents if they don't have student loan debt. We didn't have family money to help us when buying a house or with childcare, but because we didn't have any student loan debt, we were able to buy a house in our late twenties after law/grad school, max out 401ks every year of our marriage, and save $10-19k per kid per year in their 529 plans.
Agree, it's possible. This is about choices and picking the right schools.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 15:49
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think we have over 250k for two kids right now (over 500k total) and we've never put more than 6k in a year for each. Usually 4-5k.
We did invest it in the most aggressive options. we got lucky with returns.
Most middle class Americans can not afford to fund retirement for themselves, try to buy a house, pay for daycare AND have an extra $12,000 to put toward college. It isn't realistic for most middle to upper middle class parents unless they had family money to help them out with buying a house and/or childcare.
Particularly in high cost housing states. This post is our family. Without help, we could not have sent our DC to an expensive private.
Anonymous
03/30/2026 14:26
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Not many people can finish undergrad and law school without owing anything. Your parents were loaded (or took on a lot of debt for you) and you greatly benefited from it. Not many people in that position.