Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:59     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Meh, sounds like it could be fun. But really, they should rent a hotel suite. Or two adjoining rooms. But I'd say yes since he's a groom.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:51     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband’s younger brother is getting married here in town. My ILs live in a small one-bedroom condo in a retirement community, so they can’t host. We’re the only family locally and live in a modest-size house with kids at home.

The couple has a hotel block, and the bride and bridal party will be doing hair/makeup and getting dressed in their suite the morning of the wedding. The current plan is for my BIL to leave the suite that morning, and since they don’t want to pay for an additional hotel room for the guys, he’s asked if he and his five groomsmen can hang out at our house and get ready.

My husband’s response was basically “it’s up to you.” 🙄

I’m really not comfortable with this. We don’t have a great setup for six adult men to get ready; they’d either be using our primary bedroom/bath, one of our kids’ rooms, or rotating through the guest bath. I have kids here, and we actually live in this space, and we will all be getting ready, too. It feels like a lot to host a group of guys (some I’ve never even met) for hours on a busy wedding morning.

I adore my BIL and want to be supportive, but this feels invasive and stressful. Am I being unreasonable? Would you say yes, or suggest they get another hotel room?


Pay for a hotel room for them.


Why don't the parents of the groom pay? Why is it the responsibility of the sibling?
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:47     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Op, how much are rooms at the hotel?
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:18     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband’s younger brother is getting married here in town. My ILs live in a small one-bedroom condo in a retirement community, so they can’t host. We’re the only family locally and live in a modest-size house with kids at home.

The couple has a hotel block, and the bride and bridal party will be doing hair/makeup and getting dressed in their suite the morning of the wedding. The current plan is for my BIL to leave the suite that morning, and since they don’t want to pay for an additional hotel room for the guys, he’s asked if he and his five groomsmen can hang out at our house and get ready.

My husband’s response was basically “it’s up to you.” 🙄

I’m really not comfortable with this. We don’t have a great setup for six adult men to get ready; they’d either be using our primary bedroom/bath, one of our kids’ rooms, or rotating through the guest bath. I have kids here, and we actually live in this space, and we will all be getting ready, too. It feels like a lot to host a group of guys (some I’ve never even met) for hours on a busy wedding morning.

I adore my BIL and want to be supportive, but this feels invasive and stressful. Am I being unreasonable? Would you say yes, or suggest they get another hotel room?


Pay for a hotel room for them.


Why? If he is old enough to get married, he's old enough to pay for it.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 19:12     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s younger brother is getting married here in town. My ILs live in a small one-bedroom condo in a retirement community, so they can’t host. We’re the only family locally and live in a modest-size house with kids at home.

The couple has a hotel block, and the bride and bridal party will be doing hair/makeup and getting dressed in their suite the morning of the wedding. The current plan is for my BIL to leave the suite that morning, and since they don’t want to pay for an additional hotel room for the guys, he’s asked if he and his five groomsmen can hang out at our house and get ready.

My husband’s response was basically “it’s up to you.” 🙄

I’m really not comfortable with this. We don’t have a great setup for six adult men to get ready; they’d either be using our primary bedroom/bath, one of our kids’ rooms, or rotating through the guest bath. I have kids here, and we actually live in this space, and we will all be getting ready, too. It feels like a lot to host a group of guys (some I’ve never even met) for hours on a busy wedding morning.

I adore my BIL and want to be supportive, but this feels invasive and stressful. Am I being unreasonable? Would you say yes, or suggest they get another hotel room?


Pay for a hotel room for them.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 18:59     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, I would say yes. But you can certainly say no.


Actually I might say yes or I might buy them another hotel room.


Just BIL, yes.

But this is the best solution. GIFT your BIL another room for this purpose.



I've heard of weaponized incompetence. I guess this is weaponized cheapness
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 18:57     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:I would love to be their host. Give them your room and bathroom, have some drinks and snacks. Get to know your bil friends.

Why are even mentioning you have kids?


Nice of you to offer to host op's BIL!
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 18:39     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, I would say yes. But you can certainly say no.


Actually I might say yes or I might buy them another hotel room.


Just BIL, yes.

But this is the best solution. GIFT your BIL another room for this purpose.

Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 18:31     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Op what time is the wedding and are the groomsmen local?
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 18:30     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

What does your DH want to do? No passing the decision "up to you". Does he want to host his brother and his brother's friends? He presumably knows his brother well enough to have some thoughts.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 18:28     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:I would love to be their host. Give them your room and bathroom, have some drinks and snacks. Get to know your bil friends.

Why are even mentioning you have kids?


Um because the kids are part of the family.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 18:21     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

I would love to be their host. Give them your room and bathroom, have some drinks and snacks. Get to know your bil friends.

Why are even mentioning you have kids?
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 17:41     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:No, this is/should be a special time with his brother


Someone should tell the groom who only seems concerned with saving money on a hotel room.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 17:28     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:I notice the BIL's reason is "I don't want to pay for another room" rather than I want to hang out with my brother.


Exactly. Cheap
Pay for your own room Mr Groom and Groomsmen
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2026 16:40     Subject: BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

No, this is/should be a special time with his brother