it’s just a difference of levels. the thing with the ues is it’s amped up because of the culture of the ues and the money. i honestly have never met a group of people more okay with openly discussing f other people’s money in front of their children, but the other component is how desperate they are that their kids keep up, that they get invited to the right supper clubs. It’s not even pop culture, that would seem more normal to me, but it’s who gets invited to the River Club. It’s a weird country club culture I didn’t know existed in NYC and didn’t expect to find a part of my daughter’s life at Brearley.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you really love the high school, I’d suggest waiting until 8th. They aren’t doing a good job prepping the kids for success there K-8, and your kid will be happier and better adjusted in the meantime. Also, by then, whatever the new admin is going to be will be much more apparent and you can see if it has effected college placements. Right now, if you like the high school, Inthink waiting is the best bet. It might be a different place in 9 years, the middle school is so different from the school we applied into. The girls in my daugher’s class are the most materialistic kid I have ever met. It was very unexpected. It may even be because it’s a different generation of parents coming in (more millennials, less Gen X) who have different priorities.

Middle school is the most difficult period for all schools, because the children are developing their self-identity. The dangers of raising a child in the city has always been they grow up faster and are exposed to more than the suburbs.

I have an 8th grader at a nice public, who is still basically a sweet little kid, gets excited about band practice and interesting math problems and knows nothing about stanleys, lululemons, or in fact, much of current pop culture. I appreciate the missives from this parallel universe, even if they are skewed by highly personal experiences.

My child is in elementary school and likes to try on mom’s fancy shoes / bags, wear the same lululemons mom has. Unless everyone plans to live as an amish person, I don’t know how it will be prevented.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8th grader at a nice public, who is still basically a sweet little kid, gets excited about band practice and interesting math problems and knows nothing about stanleys, lululemons, or in fact, much of current pop culture. I appreciate the missives from this parallel universe, even if they are skewed by highly personal experiences.

I have a 7th grader at a nice D2 middle school, but she was at a Hill private for part of last year (didn't work out, there was lots of bullying), and while I agree with you completely about the "sweet little kid" piece, she actually says that culture-wise the public school kids are much more sophisticated than the private school ones. The private school kids were all into Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter and whatnot, while the public school kids listen to obscure K-Pop bands (and were doing that last year before the movie) and play interesting video games and go to theater/concerts regularly and eat unusual food and visit family in obscure places and generally seem to have much more diverse tastes than the relatively sheltered private school kids did.

(the problem with owning a ski cabin and a place in the Hamptons is that you spend too many of your vacations and long weekends at the ski cabin and the place in the Hamptons and both of those are cultural deserts)

sorry to hear about the bullying! We visited HM last year, and everyone assured us that the kids are nice the staff are very effective about dealing with any such problems. I wonder if that's accurate (I did hear about problems at Fieldston...)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8th grader at a nice public, who is still basically a sweet little kid, gets excited about band practice and interesting math problems and knows nothing about stanleys, lululemons, or in fact, much of current pop culture. I appreciate the missives from this parallel universe, even if they are skewed by highly personal experiences.

I have a 7th grader at a nice D2 middle school, but she was at a Hill private for part of last year (didn't work out, there was lots of bullying), and while I agree with you completely about the "sweet little kid" piece, she actually says that culture-wise the public school kids are much more sophisticated than the private school ones. The private school kids were all into Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter and whatnot, while the public school kids listen to obscure K-Pop bands (and were doing that last year before the movie) and play interesting video games and go to theater/concerts regularly and eat unusual food and visit family in obscure places and generally seem to have much more diverse tastes than the relatively sheltered private school kids did.

(the problem with owning a ski cabin and a place in the Hamptons is that you spend too many of your vacations and long weekends at the ski cabin and the place in the Hamptons and both of those are cultural deserts)

Oh there's a lot of cultural awareness, just not the pop-/trending stuff.

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8th grader at a nice public, who is still basically a sweet little kid, gets excited about band practice and interesting math problems and knows nothing about stanleys, lululemons, or in fact, much of current pop culture. I appreciate the missives from this parallel universe, even if they are skewed by highly personal experiences.

I have a 7th grader at a nice D2 middle school, but she was at a Hill private for part of last year (didn't work out, there was lots of bullying), and while I agree with you completely about the "sweet little kid" piece, she actually says that culture-wise the public school kids are much more sophisticated than the private school ones. The private school kids were all into Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter and whatnot, while the public school kids listen to obscure K-Pop bands (and were doing that last year before the movie) and play interesting video games and go to theater/concerts regularly and eat unusual food and visit family in obscure places and generally seem to have much more diverse tastes than the relatively sheltered private school kids did.

(the problem with owning a ski cabin and a place in the Hamptons is that you spend too many of your vacations and long weekends at the ski cabin and the place in the Hamptons and both of those are cultural deserts)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you really love the high school, I’d suggest waiting until 8th. They aren’t doing a good job prepping the kids for success there K-8, and your kid will be happier and better adjusted in the meantime. Also, by then, whatever the new admin is going to be will be much more apparent and you can see if it has effected college placements. Right now, if you like the high school, Inthink waiting is the best bet. It might be a different place in 9 years, the middle school is so different from the school we applied into. The girls in my daugher’s class are the most materialistic kid I have ever met. It was very unexpected. It may even be because it’s a different generation of parents coming in (more millennials, less Gen X) who have different priorities.

Middle school is the most difficult period for all schools, because the children are developing their self-identity. The dangers of raising a child in the city has always been they grow up faster and are exposed to more than the suburbs.

I have an 8th grader at a nice public, who is still basically a sweet little kid, gets excited about band practice and interesting math problems and knows nothing about stanleys, lululemons, or in fact, much of current pop culture. I appreciate the missives from this parallel universe, even if they are skewed by highly personal experiences.

this is a public in the burbs or the city

city.

Is Chapin typically much later to notify than the other girls’ schools? Anxiously refreshing over here!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you really love the high school, I’d suggest waiting until 8th. They aren’t doing a good job prepping the kids for success there K-8, and your kid will be happier and better adjusted in the meantime. Also, by then, whatever the new admin is going to be will be much more apparent and you can see if it has effected college placements. Right now, if you like the high school, Inthink waiting is the best bet. It might be a different place in 9 years, the middle school is so different from the school we applied into. The girls in my daugher’s class are the most materialistic kid I have ever met. It was very unexpected. It may even be because it’s a different generation of parents coming in (more millennials, less Gen X) who have different priorities.

Middle school is the most difficult period for all schools, because the children are developing their self-identity. The dangers of raising a child in the city has always been they grow up faster and are exposed to more than the suburbs.

I have an 8th grader at a nice public, who is still basically a sweet little kid, gets excited about band practice and interesting math problems and knows nothing about stanleys, lululemons, or in fact, much of current pop culture. I appreciate the missives from this parallel universe, even if they are skewed by highly personal experiences.

this is a public in the burbs or the city

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you really love the high school, I’d suggest waiting until 8th. They aren’t doing a good job prepping the kids for success there K-8, and your kid will be happier and better adjusted in the meantime. Also, by then, whatever the new admin is going to be will be much more apparent and you can see if it has effected college placements. Right now, if you like the high school, Inthink waiting is the best bet. It might be a different place in 9 years, the middle school is so different from the school we applied into. The girls in my daugher’s class are the most materialistic kid I have ever met. It was very unexpected. It may even be because it’s a different generation of parents coming in (more millennials, less Gen X) who have different priorities.

Middle school is the most difficult period for all schools, because the children are developing their self-identity. The dangers of raising a child in the city has always been they grow up faster and are exposed to more than the suburbs.

I have an 8th grader at a nice public, who is still basically a sweet little kid, gets excited about band practice and interesting math problems and knows nothing about stanleys, lululemons, or in fact, much of current pop culture. I appreciate the missives from this parallel universe, even if they are skewed by highly personal experiences.

Anonymous wrote:If you really love the high school, I’d suggest waiting until 8th. They aren’t doing a good job prepping the kids for success there K-8, and your kid will be happier and better adjusted in the meantime. Also, by then, whatever the new admin is going to be will be much more apparent and you can see if it has effected college placements. Right now, if you like the high school, Inthink waiting is the best bet. It might be a different place in 9 years, the middle school is so different from the school we applied into. The girls in my daugher’s class are the most materialistic kid I have ever met. It was very unexpected. It may even be because it’s a different generation of parents coming in (more millennials, less Gen X) who have different priorities.

Middle school is the most difficult period for all schools, because the children are developing their self-identity. The dangers of raising a child in the city has always been they grow up faster and are exposed to more than the suburbs.

Anonymous wrote:If you really love the high school, I’d suggest waiting until 8th. They aren’t doing a good job prepping the kids for success there K-8, and your kid will be happier and better adjusted in the meantime. Also, by then, whatever the new admin is going to be will be much more apparent and you can see if it has effected college placements. Right now, if you like the high school, Inthink waiting is the best bet. It might be a different place in 9 years, the middle school is so different from the school we applied into. The girls in my daugher’s class are the most materialistic kid I have ever met. It was very unexpected. It may even be because it’s a different generation of parents coming in (more millennials, less Gen X) who have different priorities.

I think you should stop ragging on children on the internet. Even if you're mostly making a point about their parents, it's not a great look. In addition to your critiques about materialism, focus on stanleys and makeup, etc. (all of which may be true, but are about real kids, some of whom you know personally), you also referred to some as "superhuman snots or anxiety filled wrecks crippled with low self esteem by the end." Not great.

If you really love the high school, I’d suggest waiting until 8th. They aren’t doing a good job prepping the kids for success there K-8, and your kid will be happier and better adjusted in the meantime. Also, by then, whatever the new admin is going to be will be much more apparent and you can see if it has effected college placements. Right now, if you like the high school, Inthink waiting is the best bet. It might be a different place in 9 years, the middle school is so different from the school we applied into. The girls in my daugher’s class are the most materialistic kid I have ever met. It was very unexpected. It may even be because it’s a different generation of parents coming in (more millennials, less Gen X) who have different priorities.

Anonymous wrote:Your kids will do great if you support their learning and growth. If the school turns out not to be a good fit anymore you can always switch. We have excellent choices in NYC and the NE.

1000x this. Also, don't discount the possibility of filling in gaps with tutoring and extracurriculars - even a really amazing school has a LOT of filler in the average day, you can learn a whole lot of math very quickly 1-on-1.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:. There is a lot of diversity in upper school student body and more financial aid students who are just excellent.

On this point - do they have more fin aid spots in the upper school than in the earlier grades? Or is it specifically for prep-for-prep students? And how do you know who the financial aid kids are?

Some of the financial aid students went through prep-for-prep but not all. Some of them talk about it openly and they are very comfortable about it. Some I guessed based on what the parents said about their background. They are confident and fit in just fine. I feel my daughter benefited from being around them.

Yes there are students who are interested in designer stuff (not Stanley Lululemon…), but overall much less than at our previous school. After all this school is academically vigorous so kids who stayed or kids who got in at middle/upper school have to be pretty good. The kids are genuinely interested in learning and have fun doing it, not just for grades.

We’ve done our research over the years and are glad we switched in upper school. We had multiple choices but felt Brearley fits our daughter the best. I chat with her about school almost every day and think the school is doing a good job teaching the kids how to learn and encouraging intellectual curiosity. My daughter reads a lot outside of school so I don’t feel strongly about what they read and the reading list looks fine to me.

To the parents who are nervous about K admissions, good luck but relax, as much as you are able. I was the kind that checked email continuously on decision day so I can relate. How your daughter grows up depends largely on how you engage with them, so school doesn’t determine everything. If you try to be open minded, keep your intellectual curiosity, and have decent social skills kids will learn from that.

K is really just the beginning. As your kids grow you will figure out what kind of school fit them better. We know many families who switched schools. Public to private, SS to co-ed, private to boarding school, private to private, and the other way around too. It’s not as hard as you think now.

Back to uptown girls school… Spence is actually more DEI heavy in my opinion. I value diversity but felt the way they talk about it is just so 5 years ago and not authentic or open, although they have strong research programs in upper school. Loved some of the teachers we met but not a fan of the new head or the DEI director. We also loved Chaplin a lot, the admin, teachers are all great and really care about the girls.

Your kids will do great if you support their learning and growth. If the school turns out not to be a good fit anymore you can always switch. We have excellent choices in NYC and the NE.

What are some of the schools that exmit to brearley for upper school?