Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick question for the parents of girls being dress coded. Are girls who are not rail thin targeted more often for dress code violations? That was the case when I was a kid. It was the girls with bodies who were told that their bodies were a distraction. In a school and culture where thinness, whiteness, and wealth are rewarded, dress code is just another place where girls who don’t fit the ideal mold are targeted. This can be very triggering for parents of girls who don’t want to see their daughters targeted for something outside of their control.

My daughter (at MS) has complained that girls have worn the exact same things and one will be dress coded and the other not.

It’s not just thinness that’s rewarded, though, it’s looking younger. Sixth grade families are less annoyed imo because their girls aren’t being scrutinized to the same extent the 8th grade girls are (more developed = more scrutiny = more punishment).

Yep, this is always the way. Curves of any kind mean more male attention thus girls must cover them up. It's sick.

Uniform everyone or do away with the code altogether. It's not worth the hassle or the sexism.

This x 1000000000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quick question for the parents of girls being dress coded. Are girls who are not rail thin targeted more often for dress code violations? That was the case when I was a kid. It was the girls with bodies who were told that their bodies were a distraction. In a school and culture where thinness, whiteness, and wealth are rewarded, dress code is just another place where girls who don’t fit the ideal mold are targeted. This can be very triggering for parents of girls who don’t want to see their daughters targeted for something outside of their control.

My daughter (at MS) has complained that girls have worn the exact same things and one will be dress coded and the other not.

It’s not just thinness that’s rewarded, though, it’s looking younger. Sixth grade families are less annoyed imo because their girls aren’t being scrutinized to the same extent the 8th grade girls are (more developed = more scrutiny = more punishment).

Yep, this is always the way. Curves of any kind mean more male attention thus girls must cover them up. It's sick.

Uniform everyone or do away with the code altogether. It's not worth the hassle or the sexism.

This is really disappointing to hear. I currently have a MS student and we were hoping/had heard that the dress code craziness dies down in the upper school. Sounds like that is not the case.

Anonymous wrote:I do think that we as parents need to let the dress code issue go. Just have your girls wear a polo shirt. End of story. It’s annoying (and very unstylish) but it gives everyone one less thing to worry about.

The school has other more substantive problems to fix so let’s just let this one be.

… so says the patriarchy….

Besides, even the girls wearing polos (and dresses on chapel days) are being taught to be preoccupied with their bodies. The collar thing is crazy but it’s hardly the only thing girls get dress coded for. Girls are buying strapless bras out of concern an accidentally visible bra strap will get them coded. Wtf are we teaching them?

Anyway I’m upset about the dress code but also kind of over it? The school has values I don’t agree with - values that align more with a Catholic school than an Episcopal school.

I do think that we as parents need to let the dress code issue go. Just have your girls wear a polo shirt. End of story. It’s annoying (and very unstylish) but it gives everyone one less thing to worry about.

The school has other more substantive problems to fix so let’s just let this one be.

Mine is thin but very tall so shirts tend to not be long enough, which has resulted in some exposed stomach above the waist and dress code violations.

Anonymous wrote:Quick question for the parents of girls being dress coded. Are girls who are not rail thin targeted more often for dress code violations? That was the case when I was a kid. It was the girls with bodies who were told that their bodies were a distraction. In a school and culture where thinness, whiteness, and wealth are rewarded, dress code is just another place where girls who don’t fit the ideal mold are targeted. This can be very triggering for parents of girls who don’t want to see their daughters targeted for something outside of their control.

My daughter (at MS) has complained that girls have worn the exact same things and one will be dress coded and the other not.

It’s not just thinness that’s rewarded, though, it’s looking younger. Sixth grade families are less annoyed imo because their girls aren’t being scrutinized to the same extent the 8th grade girls are (more developed = more scrutiny = more punishment).

^and *wearing sweatpants, not where.

Please keep in mind that in US there are more dress code violations for oversized logos/graphics on shirts and where sweatpants/loungewear (boys and girls) than there are girls being coded for cropped tops or shoulder straps. In MS, it seems (I don’t have a MS kid) that the big issue is whatever stupidity the school dreamed up about collared shirts.

Logos, sweats, and collars have nothing to do with the thinness of the student.

Quick question for the parents of girls being dress coded. Are girls who are not rail thin targeted more often for dress code violations? That was the case when I was a kid. It was the girls with bodies who were told that their bodies were a distraction. In a school and culture where thinness, whiteness, and wealth are rewarded, dress code is just another place where girls who don’t fit the ideal mold are targeted. This can be very triggering for parents of girls who don’t want to see their daughters targeted for something outside of their control.

The school is not a dumpster fire.

It is, however, having an identity crisis. It has tried so hard to be apolitical when that's just not so easy any more; conservative families are pushing for one thing while progressive families want another. Everyone wants more rigor but they are confusing more homework and testing with having high standards. They don't seem to know what colleges look for, because infinite AP exams isn't it.

The school desperately needs to shake things up, especially at the middle and upper school. They need fresh ideas, and they need leadership. The teaching strategies are dated, there is no administrative oversight of the what and why of teaching.

And yes, the school seems to be ignoring more serious disciplinary issues in favor of strictly enforcing the dress code.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SSSAS is a dumpster fire.

It’s really not. If you find it so, that reflects you. It’s ok if a school is just a bad fit for your kid and family.

No school in this area that is in stable financial footing is a dumpster fire.

So a school can allow bullying, support cheaters and ignore parents' valid concerns, but as long as it is financially stable all is ok? Got it.

I disagree that they do those things. Certainly no clue where you are getting “support cheaters” from. I’m sorry if your child has been bullied and you don’t feel the school responded properly. That has not been my experience or that of other families I know there.

As far as ignoring parents’ concerns, fine. If the dress code stuff is a deal breaker for you, so be it. It isn’t for us. Certainly not a big enough deal to label the whole school a dumpster fire.

Just read the last several pages of posts. Sorry you are so insecure. But it is a dumpster fire and surviving because ACPS is terrible and SSSAS is in Alexandria.

K.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SSSAS is a dumpster fire.

It’s really not. If you find it so, that reflects you. It’s ok if a school is just a bad fit for your kid and family.

No school in this area that is in stable financial footing is a dumpster fire.

So a school can allow bullying, support cheaters and ignore parents' valid concerns, but as long as it is financially stable all is ok? Got it.

I disagree that they do those things. Certainly no clue where you are getting “support cheaters” from. I’m sorry if your child has been bullied and you don’t feel the school responded properly. That has not been my experience or that of other families I know there.

As far as ignoring parents’ concerns, fine. If the dress code stuff is a deal breaker for you, so be it. It isn’t for us. Certainly not a big enough deal to label the whole school a dumpster fire.

Just read the last several pages of posts. Sorry you are so insecure. But it is a dumpster fire and surviving because ACPS is terrible and SSSAS is in Alexandria.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SSSAS is a dumpster fire.

It’s really not. If you find it so, that reflects you. It’s ok if a school is just a bad fit for your kid and family.

No school in this area that is in stable financial footing is a dumpster fire.

So a school can allow bullying, support cheaters and ignore parents' valid concerns, but as long as it is financially stable all is ok? Got it.

I disagree that they do those things. Certainly no clue where you are getting “support cheaters” from. I’m sorry if your child has been bullied and you don’t feel the school responded properly. That has not been my experience or that of other families I know there.

As far as ignoring parents’ concerns, fine. If the dress code stuff is a deal breaker for you, so be it. It isn’t for us. Certainly not a big enough deal to label the whole school a dumpster fire.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SSSAS is a dumpster fire.

It’s really not. If you find it so, that reflects you. It’s ok if a school is just a bad fit for your kid and family.

No school in this area that is in stable financial footing is a dumpster fire.

So a school can allow bullying, support cheaters and ignore parents' valid concerns, but as long as it is financially stable all is ok? Got it.