Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling here because my parents suck, but the kids other set of grandparents are amazing. My in-laws are helping us with the grandkids every way possible and they constantly visiting to help take care of our kids. They absolutely adore the grandkids, and provide significant financial support. They are willing to do anything to help us and support the grandkids. However, my parents are basically useless and they provide no help, but my parents are somehow
under the impression that they are great grandparents. They only come to visit for short trips and don’t actually help much with taking care of the kids. My parents basically just want pictures to show their friends. After my baby was born my dad booked a hotel that was no where near where I was staying, and only visited the kids for 3 hours over the weekend. He spent most of the time traveling, and he even mentioned he is actually going on a week long vacation immediately after visiting my kids. This made me very angry because he clearly doesn’t prioritize the grandkids at all. My mother is not much better and she basically comes to visit only to see them without actually considering when we need really help. This situation has been very frustrating because my side of family contributes almost nothing to help with the grandkids and my in-laws are absolutely amazing people. The in-laws are very nice to me, but they are quite annoyed that my family does not even try to be helpful. The in-laws have never explicitly told me this, but I can tell they dislike my parents. The worst part of this situation is I completely understand why they feel this way because I would also dislike my kids in-laws if they acted similarly to my parents. It’s honestly gotten to the point where I’m not sure if I want them to visit at all because it just makes me angry how much they suck as grandparents.

Way to bury the lede, OP

+ 1. You seem to want both financial and physical help from both sets of grandparents and that's unrealistic and entitled. Three hours to visit a newborn is plenty.

Most people that care about their newborn grandkids actually visit longer. Even the great grandparents visited for a whole week.

And then you get op complaining that their visits were too long and draining

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling here because my parents suck, but the kids other set of grandparents are amazing. My in-laws are helping us with the grandkids every way possible and they constantly visiting to help take care of our kids. They absolutely adore the grandkids, and provide significant financial support. They are willing to do anything to help us and support the grandkids. However, my parents are basically useless and they provide no help, but my parents are somehow
under the impression that they are great grandparents. They only come to visit for short trips and don’t actually help much with taking care of the kids. My parents basically just want pictures to show their friends. After my baby was born my dad booked a hotel that was no where near where I was staying, and only visited the kids for 3 hours over the weekend. He spent most of the time traveling, and he even mentioned he is actually going on a week long vacation immediately after visiting my kids. This made me very angry because he clearly doesn’t prioritize the grandkids at all. My mother is not much better and she basically comes to visit only to see them without actually considering when we need really help. This situation has been very frustrating because my side of family contributes almost nothing to help with the grandkids and my in-laws are absolutely amazing people. The in-laws are very nice to me, but they are quite annoyed that my family does not even try to be helpful. The in-laws have never explicitly told me this, but I can tell they dislike my parents. The worst part of this situation is I completely understand why they feel this way because I would also dislike my kids in-laws if they acted similarly to my parents. It’s honestly gotten to the point where I’m not sure if I want them to visit at all because it just makes me angry how much they suck as grandparents.

Way to bury the lede, OP

+ 1. You seem to want both financial and physical help from both sets of grandparents and that's unrealistic and entitled. Three hours to visit a newborn is plenty.

Most people that care about their newborn grandkids actually visit longer. Even the great grandparents visited for a whole week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling here because my parents suck, but the kids other set of grandparents are amazing. My in-laws are helping us with the grandkids every way possible and they constantly visiting to help take care of our kids. They absolutely adore the grandkids, and provide significant financial support. They are willing to do anything to help us and support the grandkids. However, my parents are basically useless and they provide no help, but my parents are somehow
under the impression that they are great grandparents. They only come to visit for short trips and don’t actually help much with taking care of the kids. My parents basically just want pictures to show their friends. After my baby was born my dad booked a hotel that was no where near where I was staying, and only visited the kids for 3 hours over the weekend. He spent most of the time traveling, and he even mentioned he is actually going on a week long vacation immediately after visiting my kids. This made me very angry because he clearly doesn’t prioritize the grandkids at all. My mother is not much better and she basically comes to visit only to see them without actually considering when we need really help. This situation has been very frustrating because my side of family contributes almost nothing to help with the grandkids and my in-laws are absolutely amazing people. The in-laws are very nice to me, but they are quite annoyed that my family does not even try to be helpful. The in-laws have never explicitly told me this, but I can tell they dislike my parents. The worst part of this situation is I completely understand why they feel this way because I would also dislike my kids in-laws if they acted similarly to my parents. It’s honestly gotten to the point where I’m not sure if I want them to visit at all because it just makes me angry how much they suck as grandparents.

Way to bury the lede, OP

+ 1. You seem to want both financial and physical help from both sets of grandparents and that's unrealistic and entitled. Three hours to visit a newborn is plenty.

Most people that care about their newborn grandkids actually visit longer. Even the great grandparents visited for a whole week.

You have living great grandparents who travel? You must be extremely young.

Anonymous wrote:Your in-laws are completely out of line if they're judging your parents. That's rude. Providing help when you're a grandparent should not come with strings attached, like expectations that the other side will pitch in at a similar level.

I understand that you are disappointed in your parents, because you're their child and you had expectations. But ultimately your parents are free to live how they want. Similarly, you are free to tell them that they're not as present as your in-laws, and *you are also free to not help your parents when they're old and decrepit*.


So the parents raising op is meaningless? Unless they were terrible parents I wouldn't abandon them. Maybe they didn't get any help from their parents? Or expect op to be capable of providing for her kids? They do visit but do you really expect parents to do things you can do? Have you asked for help?

Anonymous wrote:Op, you’re a bad person. I’m excited for my parents to travel and have fun. It’s sad that you can’t say the same. You’re setting a truly awful precedent for your own kids. You are entitled, unpleasant and combative. Your doubling down in this thread and willful obtuseness has demonstrated that over and over. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if your parents just want to limit time in your presence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling here because my parents suck, but the kids other set of grandparents are amazing. My in-laws are helping us with the grandkids every way possible and they constantly visiting to help take care of our kids. They absolutely adore the grandkids, and provide significant financial support. They are willing to do anything to help us and support the grandkids. However, my parents are basically useless and they provide no help, but my parents are somehow
under the impression that they are great grandparents. They only come to visit for short trips and don’t actually help much with taking care of the kids. My parents basically just want pictures to show their friends. After my baby was born my dad booked a hotel that was no where near where I was staying, and only visited the kids for 3 hours over the weekend. He spent most of the time traveling, and he even mentioned he is actually going on a week long vacation immediately after visiting my kids. This made me very angry because he clearly doesn’t prioritize the grandkids at all. My mother is not much better and she basically comes to visit only to see them without actually considering when we need really help. This situation has been very frustrating because my side of family contributes almost nothing to help with the grandkids and my in-laws are absolutely amazing people. The in-laws are very nice to me, but they are quite annoyed that my family does not even try to be helpful. The in-laws have never explicitly told me this, but I can tell they dislike my parents. The worst part of this situation is I completely understand why they feel this way because I would also dislike my kids in-laws if they acted similarly to my parents. It’s honestly gotten to the point where I’m not sure if I want them to visit at all because it just makes me angry how much they suck as grandparents.

Way to bury the lede, OP

+ 1. You seem to want both financial and physical help from both sets of grandparents and that's unrealistic and entitled. Three hours to visit a newborn is plenty.

Most people that care about their newborn grandkids actually visit longer. Even the great grandparents visited for a whole week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not expect family whom I invite to visit me to cook or clean and I don't offer to clean or cook when invited to their homes. If you are incapable of taking care of your children or your house then hire help. If you can't afford help then get off your entitled derriere hand clean your own house and take care of your own children.

You don't clean up after yourself or offer to help with cooking/cleaning when you visit family? That's so weird to me. We always defer to our hosts on everything but we clean up after ourselves and always offer to help with meal prep and clean up. When we visit my parents or ILs, we also check in to see if there are other tasks we can help with, as often our parents have other issues they have been putting off or are unsure how to handle. I helped my MIL get out of a cell phone contract after they'd given her the run around on it. I helped my parents switch their car insurance. That kind of thing.

I cannot imagine visiting a family member and just expecting to be served and waited on. It's not a hotel! I also do our own laundry and make sure the rooms we are staying in are reasonable tidy with made beds and that kind of thing.

And on the flip side, if someone is visiting me, especially when my kids were very young and required constant supervision, you bet I assume that I can leave grandparents with the baby or a toddler while I work on dinner or catch up on some work. And I assume they will enjoy these interactions and not view them as "free babysitting" but an opportunity to bond one on one with their grandkids.

Some of you have deeeeeeply dysfunctional attitudes about family. It must be so miserable living that way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling here because my parents suck, but the kids other set of grandparents are amazing. My in-laws are helping us with the grandkids every way possible and they constantly visiting to help take care of our kids. They absolutely adore the grandkids, and provide significant financial support. They are willing to do anything to help us and support the grandkids. However, my parents are basically useless and they provide no help, but my parents are somehow
under the impression that they are great grandparents. They only come to visit for short trips and don’t actually help much with taking care of the kids. My parents basically just want pictures to show their friends. After my baby was born my dad booked a hotel that was no where near where I was staying, and only visited the kids for 3 hours over the weekend. He spent most of the time traveling, and he even mentioned he is actually going on a week long vacation immediately after visiting my kids. This made me very angry because he clearly doesn’t prioritize the grandkids at all. My mother is not much better and she basically comes to visit only to see them without actually considering when we need really help. This situation has been very frustrating because my side of family contributes almost nothing to help with the grandkids and my in-laws are absolutely amazing people. The in-laws are very nice to me, but they are quite annoyed that my family does not even try to be helpful. The in-laws have never explicitly told me this, but I can tell they dislike my parents. The worst part of this situation is I completely understand why they feel this way because I would also dislike my kids in-laws if they acted similarly to my parents. It’s honestly gotten to the point where I’m not sure if I want them to visit at all because it just makes me angry how much they suck as grandparents.

Way to bury the lede, OP

+ 1. You seem to want both financial and physical help from both sets of grandparents and that's unrealistic and entitled. Three hours to visit a newborn is plenty.