Anonymous wrote:The new idea is competitive volunteering. Let's see what I can get my kid by volunteering. Competitive moms make competitive kids. It's not good. It's kinda weird that more parents don't see the truth.

You’re nuts.

The new idea is competitive volunteering. Let's see what I can get my kid by volunteering. Competitive moms make competitive kids. It's not good. It's kinda weird that more parents don't see the truth.

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Anonymous wrote:It can also be a form of narcissistic behavior, not allowing a kid any breathing room and basically taking over and becoming central to their activities -- eg, they (your kid and the whole group) can't do it without you. Smother mothers and competitive mothers (moms who view their child as their competitor) love to do this. They live and walk among us. Not all, but they are definitely out there. I can spot the difference because I had a covert narc for a mother.

THANK YOU!!!!!!! Finally, someone here who can see the truth. My area has a lot of this, not just at the school, but outside of school activities as well. What impacts do you think this has on the kid later in life?

If you think the description above is “the truth” about any person who volunteers at their kid’s school, there is something seriously wrong with you.

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If you can't see what's really happening - that's on you. Or are you one of these moms? I know it's true because I've done it before, and I know a few moms who still do this. I do know that there are a few moms who actually helped out just for the sake of helping, but their help stops after a few sign-ups. The moms with questionable intent don't stop.

Uh huh. So any mom who volunteers more than once or twice is a smothering psycho narcissist, and anyone who questions that characterization is also one?

Yes, you said it correctly.

If you genuinely believe this you are either breathtakingly stupid, or have some form of mental illness. Possibly both.

I'm thinking you are one of the moms who volunteer for the perks. It's fine. But know that many of us know the truth. You are trying to make up for your kids' shortcomings. Keep pretending.

Still wondering what these perks are. What are you so pissy about exactly? What is your kid supposedly missing out on?

The rest of the kids don't get things "perks" on their own merit; they have to compete with the kids who are favorites. The parents who constantly push themselves on others - just know the rest of us know what you're doing and see the shortcomings of you and your kids.

NP. You still haven’t told us exactly what those perks are.

Why don’t you go send your kid to a school with no parent volunteers like a title 1 school and get back to us with the differences in experiences.

My kids have gone to both and they actually like their title 1 school more. There isn’t even a PTA. But the teachers are great and they give quality lessons. They really don’t miss the parent ran parties. The school carnival at previous school was a big waste as well. Dumb games and cheap plastic prizes. They had more fun just playing with friends on the school playground outside of the carnival than at the actual carnival

Oh please. Ask kids if they want or don’t want class parties. Ask kids if they want festivals, pumpkin patch, holiday celebrations at school. Of course they want them. It’s like the no gift parents saying kids don’t want gifts when it’s the parents who don’t want them.

Volunteers make field trips happen, clubs and enrichment activities, sports, and also support staff and teachers. This in turn gives them more time to do the curriculum planning and classroom instruction.

If your school doesn’t even have a PTA PP, that is pretty bad. Lots of things not happening that could make the experience much better for your kid and the teachers and staff. Ask me how I know.

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Anonymous wrote:I do think the moms that are in the spotlight all the time are kind of like politicians in some ways, but they also take a lot of crap. You have to have a certain personality to be president of the PTA or head commissioner of a sports league.

They are extroverted joiners. They are always the same type. But I don't necessarily see them doing it to get a perk for their kid. They just like to be involved and run the show like the carnival or class party. There are always a few per class but that's about all each class needs to get things done. The rest don't care, won't show up anyway (like miserable OP), or are only willing to do the least amount of effort to check a box.

They are more than that. Usually have more of an agenda than just being with people and are controlling.

It's fine. There is usually just a couple of these people in any organization. The majority of people are just extroverted joiners or just trying to help out where they can.

So now we're making up conspiracy theories about parents who volunteer at their kid's school? Who knew there were so many brilliant, scheming masterminds with evil agendas lurking at the 1st grade Halloween Party?? I had no idea!

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Anonymous wrote:I do think the moms that are in the spotlight all the time are kind of like politicians in some ways, but they also take a lot of crap. You have to have a certain personality to be president of the PTA or head commissioner of a sports league.

They are extroverted joiners. They are always the same type. But I don't necessarily see them doing it to get a perk for their kid. They just like to be involved and run the show like the carnival or class party. There are always a few per class but that's about all each class needs to get things done. The rest don't care, won't show up anyway (like miserable OP), or are only willing to do the least amount of effort to check a box.

They are more than that. Usually have more of an agenda than just being with people and are controlling.

It's fine. There is usually just a couple of these people in any organization. The majority of people are just extroverted joiners or just trying to help out where they can.

I can't even with people saying that someone who runs a class party or the carnival have an agenda. I have been room parent and run the school fair because nobody else did it; my only agenda was to raise money, help the teachers, and have something fun for my kids to do. What else could I possibly get out of it?

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Anonymous wrote:I do think the moms that are in the spotlight all the time are kind of like politicians in some ways, but they also take a lot of crap. You have to have a certain personality to be president of the PTA or head commissioner of a sports league.

They are extroverted joiners. They are always the same type. But I don't necessarily see them doing it to get a perk for their kid. They just like to be involved and run the show like the carnival or class party. There are always a few per class but that's about all each class needs to get things done. The rest don't care, won't show up anyway (like miserable OP), or are only willing to do the least amount of effort to check a box.

They are more than that. Usually have more of an agenda than just being with people and are controlling.

It's fine. There is usually just a couple of these people in any organization. The majority of people are just extroverted joiners or just trying to help out where they can.

I was this parent when my kids were younger. I was home and wanted to be helpful, enjoyed being around kids and thought it was a nice way to get to know my kid’s peers. I had zero ulterior motive.

Anonymous wrote:I do think the moms that are in the spotlight all the time are kind of like politicians in some ways, but they also take a lot of crap. You have to have a certain personality to be president of the PTA or head commissioner of a sports league.

They are extroverted joiners. They are always the same type. But I don't necessarily see them doing it to get a perk for their kid. They just like to be involved and run the show like the carnival or class party. There are always a few per class but that's about all each class needs to get things done. The rest don't care, won't show up anyway (like miserable OP), or are only willing to do the least amount of effort to check a box.

I our K-8 there were a lot of parents who volunteered. But, we did have the long list…. A request that when out to all families re/ volunteering, and then the short list- the families the ‘chair’ would call when they couldn’t get enough volunteers for an activity.
There were ~10-12 consistent names on the short list. They were mostly working moms. I love these women for always making it work for our community!!