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Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

Of course I do, but I do it while watching my children.

Sigh. Then the question wasn't for you. The PP discussed "demanding" a friend use annual leave to meet her for lunch. Those of us who work also, shockingly, eat lunch. So I don't take leave in order to dine with friends. It's not rocket science.

Sure, but how long is your lunch break? Mine is 30 minutes, which isn’t really long enough to walk to even a fast-casual place downtown, order, eat, and return to work. If the friend wanted longer than that, or to meet at a sit-down restaurant, I’d have to take annual leave.

Not everyone works at target and has to clock back in after 30m.

Even in most office jobs, lunch is only an hour. That’s hardly enough time to have a leisurely lunch with friends.

An hour is plenty, no one said it has to be “leisurely”. Stop trying to move the goal posts.

Found the Target/fast food employee!

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Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

Of course I do, but I do it while watching my children.

Sigh. Then the question wasn't for you. The PP discussed "demanding" a friend use annual leave to meet her for lunch. Those of us who work also, shockingly, eat lunch. So I don't take leave in order to dine with friends. It's not rocket science.

Sure, but how long is your lunch break? Mine is 30 minutes, which isn’t really long enough to walk to even a fast-casual place downtown, order, eat, and return to work. If the friend wanted longer than that, or to meet at a sit-down restaurant, I’d have to take annual leave.

Not everyone works at target and has to clock back in after 30m.

Even in most office jobs, lunch is only an hour. That’s hardly enough time to have a leisurely lunch with friends.

An hour is plenty, no one said it has to be “leisurely”. Stop trying to move the goal posts.

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Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

Of course I do, but I do it while watching my children.

Sigh. Then the question wasn't for you. The PP discussed "demanding" a friend use annual leave to meet her for lunch. Those of us who work also, shockingly, eat lunch. So I don't take leave in order to dine with friends. It's not rocket science.

Sure, but how long is your lunch break? Mine is 30 minutes, which isn’t really long enough to walk to even a fast-casual place downtown, order, eat, and return to work. If the friend wanted longer than that, or to meet at a sit-down restaurant, I’d have to take annual leave.

Not everyone works at target and has to clock back in after 30m.

Even in most office jobs, lunch is only an hour. That’s hardly enough time to have a leisurely lunch with friends.

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Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

do you express your specific lunch requirements to your friends, when they violate them?

NP. When 2 friends have lunch, the focus is on each other. When a mother brings her very young child to lunch, her focus is on the child, and the friend is there, too. It has to be that way, and it should be that way, but it's no fun for the friend. So don't be offended if the friend just wants your company--she just really wants to talk to you and have the focus be on the two of you. Really, it's a compliment that she enjoys your company.

yes, this information would be something that the PP should share with her friend to have the kind of interaction she wants. It's odd that she is unable to fathom speaking to her friend.

Are you really so selfish and blind to others that you need it laid out in black and white? Yikes. Maybe try thinking about other people and stop being so wrapped up in yourself.

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Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

Of course I do, but I do it while watching my children.

Sigh. Then the question wasn't for you. The PP discussed "demanding" a friend use annual leave to meet her for lunch. Those of us who work also, shockingly, eat lunch. So I don't take leave in order to dine with friends. It's not rocket science.

Sure, but how long is your lunch break? Mine is 30 minutes, which isn’t really long enough to walk to even a fast-casual place downtown, order, eat, and return to work. If the friend wanted longer than that, or to meet at a sit-down restaurant, I’d have to take annual leave.

Not everyone works at target and has to clock back in after 30m.

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Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

do you express your specific lunch requirements to your friends, when they violate them?

NP. When 2 friends have lunch, the focus is on each other. When a mother brings her very young child to lunch, her focus is on the child, and the friend is there, too. It has to be that way, and it should be that way, but it's no fun for the friend. So don't be offended if the friend just wants your company--she just really wants to talk to you and have the focus be on the two of you. Really, it's a compliment that she enjoys your company.

yes, this information would be something that the PP should share with her friend to have the kind of interaction she wants. It's odd that she is unable to fathom speaking to her friend.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

do you express your specific lunch requirements to your friends, when they violate them?

NP. When 2 friends have lunch, the focus is on each other. When a mother brings her very young child to lunch, her focus is on the child, and the friend is there, too. It has to be that way, and it should be that way, but it's no fun for the friend. So don't be offended if the friend just wants your company--she just really wants to talk to you and have the focus be on the two of you. Really, it's a compliment that she enjoys your company.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

do you express your specific lunch requirements to your friends, when they violate them?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are overestimating how easy it is to find a sitter for a weekday lunch. If the mom stays home, I’d say she and child are a package deal until the child starts preschool and the mom can meet for coffee. Most SAHMs don’t want to pay a sitter to meet a friend for lunch. If mom works, obviously the child is in daycare or has another caregiver. If lunch is on the weekend, then mom goes solo while dad watches the child.

That's your choice then. My choice is to spend time with you when you actually GAF about spending time with me. So, kind of goes both ways.

Meh. Would you demand a friend use annual leave to meet you for lunch? A SAHM’s job is to care for her child during the work day. If you are rigid enough to demand a SAHM’s undivided attention during a midweek lunch and are unavailable on evenings or weekends (when the father could watch the child), then yeah, the friendship is over.

Oh, so you don't eat lunch during the workday? That's funny. I do. And sometimes I do it with friends.

Of course I do, but I do it while watching my children.

Sigh. Then the question wasn't for you. The PP discussed "demanding" a friend use annual leave to meet her for lunch. Those of us who work also, shockingly, eat lunch. So I don't take leave in order to dine with friends. It's not rocket science.

Sure, but how long is your lunch break? Mine is 30 minutes, which isn’t really long enough to walk to even a fast-casual place downtown, order, eat, and return to work. If the friend wanted longer than that, or to meet at a sit-down restaurant, I’d have to take annual leave.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it’s very annoying. Even if they tell you, it’s not it’s because they’re being really polite and like you. And it’s still annoying, even if they love your toddler. It really changes the dynamic.

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Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

do you express your specific lunch requirements to your friends, when they violate them?

Why would you bother after the fact? If you can’t respect a simple invitation you don’t seem to care very much for your friends time or friendship.

it just seems like a very inflexible way to live life, to not grasp that people may have different norms and understandings. I can't imagine it leads to a wealth of friendships.

Says the person that refuses to spend one on one adult time with their friends. Your opinion doesn’t matter very much if you don’t care about your friends.

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Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

do you express your specific lunch requirements to your friends, when they violate them?

Why would you bother after the fact? If you can’t respect a simple invitation you don’t seem to care very much for your friends time or friendship.

it just seems like a very inflexible way to live life, to not grasp that people may have different norms and understandings. I can't imagine it leads to a wealth of friendships.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For all of my friends with very young children, my assumption when inviting them to lunch is that the very young child will also come. So I would expect OP to bring her child if I invited her, even without saying "oh and bring your baby".

Apparently other people do not think this, which is fine. Maybe this is a difference in upbringing (e.g., big family with kids always around) or something else.

Baby and toddler are completely different things. Sure if your kid is contained in a baby seat bring them along. Once they can move and interrupt every 2 seconds, leave them home. Or don’t come.

do you express your specific lunch requirements to your friends, when they violate them?

Why would you bother after the fact? If you can’t respect a simple invitation you don’t seem to care very much for your friends time or friendship.