Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher off for the summer. Everywhere I look there seems to be a SAHM running errands with 3+ little kids getting into a brand new looking Suburban, Tahoe, Expedition, etc. These moms look 35 or less. I see this in the dismissal car line at our public school too. How do they afford this?

Where are you driving? If you are in Bethesda, Potomac, NW, McLean, Arlington, then a very large percentage of the families living there are making $400k plus. If you venture over to Silver Spring, Gaithersburg, Rockville, Alexandria outside old town, Fairfax county beyond McLean, etc., you will see many fewer of these because the incomes are lower.

Anonymous wrote:The DCUM real estate subforum discusses plenty of neighborhoods where houses for families with 3 kids cost $1MM-$2MM+. That is a mortgage payment of $5K-$10K+.

The BLS consumer expenditure survey shows that transportation costs about half as much as housing. So two $80,000 vehicles with $1,200-$2,000 monthly payments is not out of line with housing costs.

Anonymous wrote:The DCUM real estate subforum discusses plenty of neighborhoods where houses for families with 3 kids cost $1MM-$2MM+. That is a mortgage payment of $5K-$10K+.

The BLS consumer expenditure survey shows that transportation costs about half as much as housing. So two $80,000 vehicles with $1,200-$2,000 monthly payments is not out of line with housing costs.

Anonymous wrote:The DCUM real estate subforum discusses plenty of neighborhoods where houses for families with 3 kids cost $1MM-$2MM+. That is a mortgage payment of $5K-$10K+.

The BLS consumer expenditure survey shows that transportation costs about half as much as housing. So two $80,000 vehicles with $1,200-$2,000 monthly payments is not out of line with housing costs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of debt. Leasing like idiots. 8+ year loans.

The companies they own are leasing these vehicles for them and writing it off.

Plenty are into massive debt. I know people who take 6-7 year loans for a vehicle. Imo if you cannot afford the 3 year loans, you cannot afford that car

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the people I know, the grandparents pay for the large expensive family SUVs.

+1. This is the case for both SAHMs I know who drive one of the vehicles OP mentioned or similar (Rivian SUV).

No, come on, this is crazy. I get a lot of family money but it doesn’t come in the form of cars. It comes as trusts, cash gifts (really just because of the annual exemption) and specific categories like tuition, also related to estate taxes.

Even though a lot of my assets come from family, if I wanted to buy a car everyone would assume I would use those assets, which are already mine. I guess except for the trusts. But those aren’t my parents’ assets either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the people I know, the grandparents pay for the large expensive family SUVs.

+1. This is the case for both SAHMs I know who drive one of the vehicles OP mentioned or similar (Rivian SUV).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.

We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.

Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.

Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.

I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets

OP is talking about 34 year old SAHM with elementary aged kids, so assuming they went SAH around the time they had their eldest they would have left the workforce in their late 20s. Late 20s is not 35. And congrats on making whatever you did in your late 20s, but you understand that you are one person. Right?

And the groups of sahm Mon friends I hung around with were another 15-20 people who all came from higher paying jobs.

You hung around with 20 stay at home moms who made the equivalent of 500K in their 20s in the 1980s? Do you understand how absurd that sounds?

. Perhaps to you, but facts are facts. We lived in a VHCOLA, most had been in tech, so yes by early 30s most were making over 6 figures 27 years ago.

All were highly educated moms and had great careers they gave up to sahp. Not sure why you find that shocking. When you graduate college and start first jobs, most of your friends (when you are in a new city/area) come from your job. So you are surrounded by similar people. Then you buy a home and in an area with similarly educated/paid people.

So you are saying you personally know 20 women who made 500K in their 20s during the 90s?

No, she said that by early 30s they were making 1 mil around 30 years ago. And that would maybe be 2 mil in todays dollars.

This forum is getting ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.

We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.

Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.

Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.

I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets

OP is talking about 34 year old SAHM with elementary aged kids, so assuming they went SAH around the time they had their eldest they would have left the workforce in their late 20s. Late 20s is not 35. And congrats on making whatever you did in your late 20s, but you understand that you are one person. Right?

And the groups of sahm Mon friends I hung around with were another 15-20 people who all came from higher paying jobs.

You hung around with 20 stay at home moms who made the equivalent of 500K in their 20s in the 1980s? Do you understand how absurd that sounds?

. Perhaps to you, but facts are facts. We lived in a VHCOLA, most had been in tech, so yes by early 30s most were making over 6 figures 27 years ago.

All were highly educated moms and had great careers they gave up to sahp. Not sure why you find that shocking. When you graduate college and start first jobs, most of your friends (when you are in a new city/area) come from your job. So you are surrounded by similar people. Then you buy a home and in an area with similarly educated/paid people.

So you are saying you personally know 20 women who made 500K in their 20s during the 90s?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of it is spouses with high paying jobs plus family money. My kids public school is filled with these families. We live in an old tiny house in Bethesda, and I’m always amazed at all my kids friends who live in $2.5 million plus houses, drive expensive cars, send kids to sleepover camp that’s at least $15k per kid, mom’s have multiple expensive purses, fancy vacation etc. I assume spouses are making big salaries and grandparents help too.

We know people who grew up wealthy and jointly make around $250-300K and live like they make $1M, because they want to maintain the type of lifestyle they grew up in and are able to use family money to do so (ie, supplement their HHI income). If you don’t have family money, or a lot of it, accept that it’s not going to be an apples to apples comparison.

Most SAHMs who are under 35 and have kids in elementary school (ages 5+) didn’t make tons and tons of money between the ages of 23-30. Most college grads are not going to Jane Street or Citadel immediately following graduation.

Inherited wealth is definitely the biggest driver of the inequities you may see. My husband and I are always in awe about how parents of our kids friends have these glam low paying jobs, or are SAHP, and send their kids to private school despite having limited income that we can discern. But these kids have wealthy grandparents who gifted them their homes outright and pay the grandkids' tuition, while we pay a big mortgage each month on a home we paid for ourselves.

I disagree with the "most SAHMs under 35 with kids didn't make tons ". Most of the SAHMs I knew in my 30s actually DID. They gave up high paying/good jobs to SAHM with their kids. Some for 5-7 years, others for longer term. I personally was making 6 figures at 29 when I quit to SAHP (this was 27 years ago, so that was great pay). No regrets

OP is talking about 34 year old SAHM with elementary aged kids, so assuming they went SAH around the time they had their eldest they would have left the workforce in their late 20s. Late 20s is not 35. And congrats on making whatever you did in your late 20s, but you understand that you are one person. Right?

And the groups of sahm Mon friends I hung around with were another 15-20 people who all came from higher paying jobs.

You hung around with 20 stay at home moms who made the equivalent of 500K in their 20s in the 1980s? Do you understand how absurd that sounds?

. Perhaps to you, but facts are facts. We lived in a VHCOLA, most had been in tech, so yes by early 30s most were making over 6 figures 27 years ago.

All were highly educated moms and had great careers they gave up to sahp. Not sure why you find that shocking. When you graduate college and start first jobs, most of your friends (when you are in a new city/area) come from your job. So you are surrounded by similar people. Then you buy a home and in an area with similarly educated/paid people.

Anonymous wrote:For the people I know, the grandparents pay for the large expensive family SUVs.