Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hamilton offers advice on "Absolute Basic Necessities" and "Optional Items":

https://share.google/2WKoiuosNmuzNTPk6

These are actually “UNecessities”:
alarm clock radio
addresses for loved ones
stamps
message board
(these are pre-cell phone items)
laundry drying rack
extra sets sheets

I bought a dry erase message board and stuck it on my DC’s door. She and her roommate thought it was so funny when explained that people would stop by our dorms back in the 80s and leave notes or say where the party was that night or what time to meet at the cafeteria for dinner. They had never thought about what it was like to not have a phone to call people or the internet to text. They indulged me. It only lasted a month before they had to take it down. People kept drawing obscene pictures and writing gross stuff on it. Oh well, I tried!

I have a boy on an all boy floor.

The dry erase board on the door was very popular, lol. I shudder to think of what was written on it, but it came back obviously erased and written on many times over.

Also the definition of not a "necessity".

Anonymous wrote:Do colleges not send sheets of what to buy basics anymore? When I went to college, I just bought the basic bedding set that the school advertised and that was it. As time went on, I figured a mattress topper would be nice and chose one that I knew I’d actually use. But I really didn’t buy much until I knew I’d need it.

things are cheaper now, get more expensive soon. twin XL sizes sell out.

target sale ended yesterday. ditto prime days. probably into the pricier time now.

mattress toppers weren't even a thing when I went to college, or else I totally missed the memo

Do colleges not send sheets of what to buy basics anymore? When I went to college, I just bought the basic bedding set that the school advertised and that was it. As time went on, I figured a mattress topper would be nice and chose one that I knew I’d actually use. But I really didn’t buy much until I knew I’d need it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god - go to Walmart, get a topper, mattress pad (preferably the kind that zips around the mattress + topper), and a cheap set of sheets. Absolutely don't buy a duvet + cover -- do you really think an 18 year old boy is going to take the cover off and wash it every week? HAHAHAHA. Buy him a blanket and a quilt and remind him to wash them once a month.

Or just wash the duvet cover every month?

Not gonna happen

Do you know any boys?

I have three who have been doing their laundry since they were 13. How old does a guy need to be before they’re capable of keeping their body and clothes and bedding clean in your house?

Hate to burst your bubble, but your 3 boys are not washing or fluffing their duvets in their college dorm rooms either. Definitely not monthly unless they are regularly drinking too much and puking on them.

hate to burst your bubble, but two of my three are out of college. did laundry. flossed teeth. unloaded dishwashers. got jobs.

I missed the fluffing duvet part. Most duvets don't need to be fluffed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god - go to Walmart, get a topper, mattress pad (preferably the kind that zips around the mattress + topper), and a cheap set of sheets. Absolutely don't buy a duvet + cover -- do you really think an 18 year old boy is going to take the cover off and wash it every week? HAHAHAHA. Buy him a blanket and a quilt and remind him to wash them once a month.

Or just wash the duvet cover every month?

Not gonna happen

Do you know any boys?

I have three who have been doing their laundry since they were 13. How old does a guy need to be before they’re capable of keeping their body and clothes and bedding clean in your house?

Hate to burst your bubble, but your 3 boys are not washing or fluffing their duvets in their college dorm rooms either. Definitely not monthly unless they are regularly drinking too much and puking on them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god - go to Walmart, get a topper, mattress pad (preferably the kind that zips around the mattress + topper), and a cheap set of sheets. Absolutely don't buy a duvet + cover -- do you really think an 18 year old boy is going to take the cover off and wash it every week? HAHAHAHA. Buy him a blanket and a quilt and remind him to wash them once a month.

Or just wash the duvet cover every month?

Not gonna happen

Do you know any boys?

I have three who have been doing their laundry since they were 13. How old does a guy need to be before they’re capable of keeping their body and clothes and bedding clean in your house?

My boys started doing their laundry at 10, including bedding. First with supervision, then on their own by middle school. This includes ironing or steaming anything they want ironed or steamed. The only laundry I have done for them is years is when I am doing it anyway and either offer to be nice, or ask them to bring down some laundry to fill out a load. I am not turning out future husbsnds who can't do their own laundry properly.

What I can say with 100% certainty is that once they started doing all their own laundry, they quickly ditched anything fussy (like unnecessary decorative bedding) and anything that required extra effort or time to wash (like comforters that might require a 2nd drying cycle after getting rearranged, and duvets where you have to put forth a little effort) That's not bad parenting or toxic masculinity, that is practicality and efficiency.

When they returnedfrom college dorms, in spite of knowing how to do laundry and doing it properly for years, all of their heavier bedding came back unwashed and smelly, very smelly.

Why?

Just look to laundry room mom. She in her wisdom and helicopter parenting has enlightened us with the answer.

Comforters, heavy blankers and duvets take forever to wash. No college boy is going to sit in the laundry room for hours while these items get washed and put through a long drying cycle or 2 drying cycles, unless as others have knowingly pointed out, someone puked on the comforter, or they had a virus where they sweat so much that the bedding is foul and must be washed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god - go to Walmart, get a topper, mattress pad (preferably the kind that zips around the mattress + topper), and a cheap set of sheets. Absolutely don't buy a duvet + cover -- do you really think an 18 year old boy is going to take the cover off and wash it every week? HAHAHAHA. Buy him a blanket and a quilt and remind him to wash them once a month.

Or just wash the duvet cover every month?

Not gonna happen

Do you know any boys?

I have three who have been doing their laundry since they were 13. How old does a guy need to be before they’re capable of keeping their body and clothes and bedding clean in your house?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god - go to Walmart, get a topper, mattress pad (preferably the kind that zips around the mattress + topper), and a cheap set of sheets. Absolutely don't buy a duvet + cover -- do you really think an 18 year old boy is going to take the cover off and wash it every week? HAHAHAHA. Buy him a blanket and a quilt and remind him to wash them once a month.

Or just wash the duvet cover every month?

Not gonna happen

Do you know any boys?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hamilton offers advice on "Absolute Basic Necessities" and "Optional Items":

https://share.google/2WKoiuosNmuzNTPk6

These are actually “UNecessities”:
alarm clock radio
addresses for loved ones
stamps
message board
(these are pre-cell phone items)
laundry drying rack
extra sets sheets

I bought a dry erase message board and stuck it on my DC’s door. She and her roommate thought it was so funny when explained that people would stop by our dorms back in the 80s and leave notes or say where the party was that night or what time to meet at the cafeteria for dinner. They had never thought about what it was like to not have a phone to call people or the internet to text. They indulged me. It only lasted a month before they had to take it down. People kept drawing obscene pictures and writing gross stuff on it. Oh well, I tried!

I have a boy on an all boy floor.

The dry erase board on the door was very popular, lol. I shudder to think of what was written on it, but it came back obviously erased and written on many times over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine that any college boy is going to wash a duvet cover at school.

If there is one that exists I'm conflicted about whether I'd want to meet him or not.

This is the toxic parenting stuff I had to work through a generation ago. People still putting this on their kids? Real men don’t do laundry? Good lord.

Acknowledging that boys don't care to wash or fluff duvets is toxic parenting? Hilarious.

Boys just don't care about their dorm room bedding.

Look through your kids social media and try to find a single boy posting pictures of their dorm room decor. See if you can find one boy coordinating colors and decor styles with their future roommates. You will find it impossible to find boys coordinating much more than who brings the fridge and who has what electronics (and that is if your son is organized or responds to weeks of reminders to coordinate something with their roommates.

Then visit the girls on your kids social media. You will be hard pressed to find a girl who does not post at at least one or two posts of their dorm decor, their perfectly fluffed bed, the color coordinated decor plan with their roommates, wall decor, fairy lights, etc etc. and who isn't in depth planning with their roommate for weeks what the dorm room decorating plan will look like.

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god - go to Walmart, get a topper, mattress pad (preferably the kind that zips around the mattress + topper), and a cheap set of sheets. Absolutely don't buy a duvet + cover -- do you really think an 18 year old boy is going to take the cover off and wash it every week? HAHAHAHA. Buy him a blanket and a quilt and remind him to wash them once a month.

Or just wash the duvet cover every month?

Oh my god - go to Walmart, get a topper, mattress pad (preferably the kind that zips around the mattress + topper), and a cheap set of sheets. Absolutely don't buy a duvet + cover -- do you really think an 18 year old boy is going to take the cover off and wash it every week? HAHAHAHA. Buy him a blanket and a quilt and remind him to wash them once a month.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't imagine that any college boy is going to wash a duvet cover at school.

If there is one that exists I'm conflicted about whether I'd want to meet him or not.

This is the toxic parenting stuff I had to work through a generation ago. People still putting this on their kids? Real men don’t do laundry? Good lord.

Are you a homophobe? Or just think women should do laundry for the boys? Would you be okay meeting a girl who washed her duvet? There's something very messsed up about a society that has people who say things like this.

you're replying to the wrong person

On sending stuff via Amazon…..my kid did not bother to pick it up from the package room for weeks, even claiming it’s hours weren’t a match for hers. When she finally picked it up, she never used it. If your kid really wants something, have them order it. Mine was a mom purchase.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hamilton offers advice on "Absolute Basic Necessities" and "Optional Items":

https://share.google/2WKoiuosNmuzNTPk6

These are actually “UNecessities”:
alarm clock radio
addresses for loved ones
stamps
message board
(these are pre-cell phone items)
laundry drying rack
extra sets sheets

I bought a dry erase message board and stuck it on my DC’s door. She and her roommate thought it was so funny when explained that people would stop by our dorms back in the 80s and leave notes or say where the party was that night or what time to meet at the cafeteria for dinner. They had never thought about what it was like to not have a phone to call people or the internet to text. They indulged me. It only lasted a month before they had to take it down. People kept drawing obscene pictures and writing gross stuff on it. Oh well, I tried!