Why do these men who eventually find younger wives still reach out to the older woman on the side. What’s not keeping them satisfied with the younger wife? Crazy stuff

Anonymous wrote:First time on OLD in my life - after just 2 days I have so many respectful and polite matches. I think I’ll go on a date next weekend. They’re all attractive, age appropriate with good careers (like me). I don’t see slim pickings at all.

It appears that way at first- I agree.
Get back to us after a year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

My 55+ divorced friend (Asian American who looks very good, very fit and very young) finds many 35 yr old men (usually White men) who want to date her. She has a career, house, $$$$ money, kids are grown up and out of the house, is not taking care of an elderly parent/pet/plant, is not looking to have children, is not dependent on a man for money.

The things I have noticed is that these men are usually middle class, less educated than her, fit and nice looking, usually ex-military, cops, gym owners, small business owners. They want a nice looking girlfriend (which she is) for sex and companionship, don't want to bankroll the woman because they are not well-off, don't want the pressure to get married for kids which they get from the women in their 20s and 30s. So the dating is usually just for sex and it is not going anywhere in terms of a LTR. Inevitably, these men do find a younger woman that they do end up marrying or being in an LTR - teacher, admin assistant, nurse etc. Inevitably, they also want to cheat with my friend even after they get married, but she is not interested. There is a big mismatch in age, life stage, SES. But, the men are not emotionally invested either.

Anonymous wrote:I think some people would say it's an AH move to stay with a woman if you're not attracted enough to finish half the time. Would you think it was an AH move if the two people were both 35 years old? What if it was the woman who often didn't finish because she prefers men who are tall, dark and handsome over men who are average height, pale, and forgettable looking?

You realize that many women have to get themselves in the right headspace all the time? How do you keep going to bed with women you are not attracted to?

Anonymous wrote:I think some people would say it's an AH move to stay with a woman if you're not attracted enough to finish half the time. Would you think it was an AH move if the two people were both 35 years old? What if it was the woman who often didn't finish because she prefers men who are tall, dark and handsome over men who are average height, pale, and forgettable looking?

Exactly. These same men had no issues finishing when they were 25 and women were 25. When they were 38&38. Out of a sudden, at 50 they consider themselves all around desirable and attractive and it’s all women’s fault that they can’t finish.

As a woman, I don’t understand how the dude above even ends up in bed with women he doesn’t think are sexy. I mean, it’s so easy to see and feel the mutual passion before f..ing someone !

I can’t even force myself to have sex in the first place if a man has a belly, looks too old, has hygiene issues (breathe stinks or oily hair), etc.

I think some people would say it's an AH move to stay with a woman if you're not attracted enough to finish half the time. Would you think it was an AH move if the two people were both 35 years old? What if it was the woman who often didn't finish because she prefers men who are tall, dark and handsome over men who are average height, pale, and forgettable looking?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum is dmv based where the stats are largely in favor of men in older ages. In Midwest, West Coast and even NYC or Philly men are less entitled, don’t treat dating as fresh meat market, and it’s very easy to date and find quality matches for women over age 50.
Checked on own existence: dating in DC is a disaster. Tons of ugly fat entitled men

*experience

DC liberal women probably won’t go dating in Cleveland or Indianapolis. But these cities are seriously short on attractive women and executive level attractive men complained to me that they had troubles getting any successful and attractive woman of a middle age to commit to them. Lots of young sugar babies after these dudes of course, but men can see that right through. They look for someone independent and interesting, who would fit in their social circle, will be accepted by adult kids, if we talk about actual long term relationships.

None of the men I dated in other states ever had any issues sexually : all could get it hard, cum in condom, get off twice a night with me etc. They are less technical vs East Coast but had fewer performance issues. All stated I was soaking wet (I’m in my 40s).

I think when men date much younger women on a regular basis they become addicted in a way, and have mental attitude against women their age: they do start having ED issues with women their age. But it’s mental, psychological and not a physical issue.

Are you the woman with two boyfriends from a couple of days ago?

As a man in his 50s, I partially agree and partially disagree. It's true that the problem is partly psychological but psychology is real. I did have some mild ED issues (couldn't finish half the time) with a couple of women my age, and that problem went away when I dated younger women in their 40s. Believe me I was trying.

Also, menopause does dramatically change the way some women look and the way they respond sexually. Not all. But some. I can see the difference between women in their er late 30s and womrn in their late 40s, but the aging doesn't really change my drive or the sexual experience. The difference between women in their late 40s and women in their mid 50s is sometimes really big in a way that can affect my primal instincts.

I still like women in their 50s.

If you cant get yourself in mental space to finish, that’s a you problem. Kind of an AH move to blame on the woman’s body.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First time on OLD in my life - after just 2 days I have so many respectful and polite matches. I think I’ll go on a date next weekend. They’re all attractive, age appropriate with good careers (like me). I don’t see slim pickings at all.

Shouldn’t you actually meet them in real life before you declare that?

OP said that her friend’s matches are awful - the online profiles. She didn’t talk about dates that went sideways. Not sure why that’s the case - but an attractive, independent and grounded person, she’ll find good matches.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 yo old women and fat women are invisible to me. Honestly they are an annoyance that they exist. All they do is creat more traffic and make lines longer.

The sentiment that women past 50 should not even exist isn’t really rare these days.. A lot of posts on X are dedicated specifically to the bashing of perimenopausal women who happen to find themselves single at that age for whatever reason (divorce, becoming a widow, never married, etc). It doesn’t matter what they look like or how they present themselves they cannot do anything right. Their entire existence somehow bothers people. Whether they wear tons of makeup and do surgeries to look as young as possible or go without makeup and natural like Pam Anderson, they are guaranteed to get flamed.

Why do women still seek the validation of men when they reach a certain age? I am genuinely curious. If you walk into a space and no men pay attention to you and/or compliment you why does it matter? Or are they minding their own business and men still feel the need to bash them? When a younger beautiful woman walks into a room I will look, appreciate and maybe even compliment her. If an older woman walks in I probably won't even notice her. But that doesn't mean she isn't beautiful. It's just that I don't see her. And I think that's okay.

I don’t think they do. I think people really underestimate the weird energy men give off starting when you are really young and going through your 20s and 30s. Frankly, it’s a relief to be done with that.

I’m 49 still fit and attractive, but I understand that my 20s and 30s are over and I’m fine with that. I don’t miss that weird energy at all - not from all men of course, but for more than you think, honestly, people just treat me better now. Maybe some people would call it invisibility, but I just feel a lot more respected, whether it’s in my career, or just going about my day.

I have a teenage daughter, and she is beautiful. I have seen how it makes some men frankly just angry. I’m not gonna sit here and analyze what it is, maybe they are angry at the feelings that she brings out of them and knowing they can’t have her because they’re too old and it’s gross, I don’t know, but it’s there.

I totally agree with that. It’s such a relief not to be exposed to this awful energy that young attractive women get.

Also, the creeps that stare at my beautiful teenage daughter… she doesn’t notice yet but it’s not ok. Next time I’ll say something when a 40 or 50 year old stare at my daughter.

I work in the TV talent casting industry, and everyday, there are buses loaded with young & beautiful women coming to LA looking to be the next star. It is like a meat market for 50 years old guys in the movie business. Many of these women want to sleep with these guys.

Now you can make a parallel with OLD in urban areas with bad stats for women. It’s like a meat market - buses of women arriving every day for a regular Joe 50s dude with big belly. He becomes critical jerk about anyone older than 40, thinking oh everyone wants me now !
I do believe a lot of mid-late 30s women who can’t couple with younger men would settle mentally to tolerate an older 50yo body at least to have babies and financial stability.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50 yo old women and fat women are invisible to me. Honestly they are an annoyance that they exist. All they do is creat more traffic and make lines longer.

The sentiment that women past 50 should not even exist isn’t really rare these days.. A lot of posts on X are dedicated specifically to the bashing of perimenopausal women who happen to find themselves single at that age for whatever reason (divorce, becoming a widow, never married, etc). It doesn’t matter what they look like or how they present themselves they cannot do anything right. Their entire existence somehow bothers people. Whether they wear tons of makeup and do surgeries to look as young as possible or go without makeup and natural like Pam Anderson, they are guaranteed to get flamed.

Why do women still seek the validation of men when they reach a certain age? I am genuinely curious. If you walk into a space and no men pay attention to you and/or compliment you why does it matter? Or are they minding their own business and men still feel the need to bash them? When a younger beautiful woman walks into a room I will look, appreciate and maybe even compliment her. If an older woman walks in I probably won't even notice her. But that doesn't mean she isn't beautiful. It's just that I don't see her. And I think that's okay.

I don’t think they do. I think people really underestimate the weird energy men give off starting when you are really young and going through your 20s and 30s. Frankly, it’s a relief to be done with that.

I’m 49 still fit and attractive, but I understand that my 20s and 30s are over and I’m fine with that. I don’t miss that weird energy at all - not from all men of course, but for more than you think, honestly, people just treat me better now. Maybe some people would call it invisibility, but I just feel a lot more respected, whether it’s in my career, or just going about my day.

I have a teenage daughter, and she is beautiful. I have seen how it makes some men frankly just angry. I’m not gonna sit here and analyze what it is, maybe they are angry at the feelings that she brings out of them and knowing they can’t have her because they’re too old and it’s gross, I don’t know, but it’s there.

I totally agree with that. It’s such a relief not to be exposed to this awful energy that young attractive women get.

Also, the creeps that stare at my beautiful teenage daughter… she doesn’t notice yet but it’s not ok. Next time I’ll say something when a 40 or 50 year old stare at my daughter.

I work in the TV talent casting industry, and everyday, there are buses loaded with young & beautiful women coming to LA looking to be the next star. It is like a meat market for 50 years old guys in the movie business. Many of these women want to sleep with these guys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum is dmv based where the stats are largely in favor of men in older ages. In Midwest, West Coast and even NYC or Philly men are less entitled, don’t treat dating as fresh meat market, and it’s very easy to date and find quality matches for women over age 50.
Checked on own existence: dating in DC is a disaster. Tons of ugly fat entitled men

*experience

DC liberal women probably won’t go dating in Cleveland or Indianapolis. But these cities are seriously short on attractive women and executive level attractive men complained to me that they had troubles getting any successful and attractive woman of a middle age to commit to them. Lots of young sugar babies after these dudes of course, but men can see that right through. They look for someone independent and interesting, who would fit in their social circle, will be accepted by adult kids, if we talk about actual long term relationships.

None of the men I dated in other states ever had any issues sexually : all could get it hard, cum in condom, get off twice a night with me etc. They are less technical vs East Coast but had fewer performance issues. All stated I was soaking wet (I’m in my 40s).

I think when men date much younger women on a regular basis they become addicted in a way, and have mental attitude against women their age: they do start having ED issues with women their age. But it’s mental, psychological and not a physical issue.

Are you the woman with two boyfriends from a couple of days ago?

As a man in his 50s, I partially agree and partially disagree. It's true that the problem is partly psychological but psychology is real. I did have some mild ED issues (couldn't finish half the time) with a couple of women my age, and that problem went away when I dated younger women in their 40s. Believe me I was trying.

Also, menopause does dramatically change the way some women look and the way they respond sexually. Not all. But some. I can see the difference between women in their er late 30s and womrn in their late 40s, but the aging doesn't really change my drive or the sexual experience. The difference between women in their late 40s and women in their mid 50s is sometimes really big in a way that can affect my primal instincts.

I still like women in their 50s.

Yes, I date 2 men, not in dmv area.

Women in their 50s who don’t need sex might be dating just for a companionship or also money (two income household >one income). Also a lot depends on how she takes care of herself, if shes on HRT, exercises often (Pilates etc). You need to screen for these aspects

If a woman in her 40-50s is independent and looks healthy she likely still enjoys sex. You need to work on your technique, different types of lube, dual penetration using hands and toys, A etc.

Men are often clueless in bed and don’t want to learn blaming it on aging women

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum is dmv based where the stats are largely in favor of men in older ages. In Midwest, West Coast and even NYC or Philly men are less entitled, don’t treat dating as fresh meat market, and it’s very easy to date and find quality matches for women over age 50.
Checked on own existence: dating in DC is a disaster. Tons of ugly fat entitled men

*experience

DC liberal women probably won’t go dating in Cleveland or Indianapolis. But these cities are seriously short on attractive women and executive level attractive men complained to me that they had troubles getting any successful and attractive woman of a middle age to commit to them. Lots of young sugar babies after these dudes of course, but men can see that right through. They look for someone independent and interesting, who would fit in their social circle, will be accepted by adult kids, if we talk about actual long term relationships.

None of the men I dated in other states ever had any issues sexually : all could get it hard, cum in condom, get off twice a night with me etc. They are less technical vs East Coast but had fewer performance issues. All stated I was soaking wet (I’m in my 40s).

I think when men date much younger women on a regular basis they become addicted in a way, and have mental attitude against women their age: they do start having ED issues with women their age. But it’s mental, psychological and not a physical issue.

Are you the woman with two boyfriends from a couple of days ago?

As a man in his 50s, I partially agree and partially disagree. It's true that the problem is partly psychological but psychology is real. I did have some mild ED issues (couldn't finish half the time) with a couple of women my age, and that problem went away when I dated younger women in their 40s. Believe me I was trying.

Also, menopause does dramatically change the way some women look and the way they respond sexually. Not all. But some. I can see the difference between women in their er late 30s and womrn in their late 40s, but the aging doesn't really change my drive or the sexual experience. The difference between women in their late 40s and women in their mid 50s is sometimes really big in a way that can affect my primal instincts.

I still like women in their 50s.

Anonymous wrote:This forum is dmv based where the stats are largely in favor of men in older ages. In Midwest, West Coast and even NYC or Philly men are less entitled, don’t treat dating as fresh meat market, and it’s very easy to date and find quality matches for women over age 50.
Checked on own existence: dating in DC is a disaster. Tons of ugly fat entitled men

*experience

DC liberal women probably won’t go dating in Cleveland or Indianapolis. But these cities are seriously short on attractive women and executive level attractive men complained to me that they had troubles getting any successful and attractive woman of a middle age to commit to them. Lots of young sugar babies after these dudes of course, but men can see that right through. They look for someone independent and interesting, who would fit in their social circle, will be accepted by adult kids, if we talk about actual long term relationships.

None of the men I dated in other states ever had any issues sexually : all could get it hard, cum in condom, get off twice a night with me etc. They are less technical vs East Coast but had fewer performance issues. All stated I was soaking wet (I’m in my 40s).

I think when men date much younger women on a regular basis they become addicted in a way, and have mental attitude against women their age: they do start having ED issues with women their age. But it’s mental, psychological and not a physical issue.

This forum is dmv based where the stats are largely in favor of men in older ages. In Midwest, West Coast and even NYC or Philly men are less entitled, don’t treat dating as fresh meat market, and it’s very easy to date and find quality matches for women over age 50.
Checked on own existence: dating in DC is a disaster. Tons of ugly fat entitled men

Anonymous wrote:First time on OLD in my life - after just 2 days I have so many respectful and polite matches. I think I’ll go on a date next weekend. They’re all attractive, age appropriate with good careers (like me). I don’t see slim pickings at all.

Shouldn’t you actually meet them in real life before you declare that?