Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 10:16     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, not sure if you remember this but prior to 2020 white women had the same attitudes towards BIPOC and especially WOC.

Talk to any WOC and they’ll have stories about the time a white woman did something racist, and when called out, cried or otherwise had a meltdown to flip the situation and make it all about comforting them.

I was in the yoga scene for 20 years and appropriation was especially bad. Nobody would hire a South Asian instructor who had been practicing since childhood; it was all about the young, blonde, gorgeous women who were mostly former dancers. And if you pointed out that perhaps we should hire South Asian yoga teachers to close the wage gap between them and the blondes, there were the same arguments used in the gender wage gap of “they don’t bring in as much revenue” or “they don’t teach as well” or “we hire based on merit”.

Things started to change after the murder of George Floyd, when it became in vogue for white women to “do the work” and become anti-racist. Not because of what POC had been saying for decades, but because other white women were doing it, and it gave them a way to prove they weren’t racist to other white people. I saw yoga teachers hire anti-racism coaches for themselves and rebrand rather than switching to teaching Pilates or general fitness.

And watch the responses this post gets. You’ll see women go “no, that’s not true, I’m not racist, it’s okay for white people to teach yoga, you can’t even do yoga without someone getting upset….” Which is fine, but that’s the same things these men are saying. “I’m not sexist, I’m not a bad guy, I care about women, you can’t even give a compliment without someone getting upset….”

This isn’t to just slam on white women. I am one. But it’s to point out that society has changed rapidly the last few decades, and people haven’t yet developed the skills to navigate these new expectations, probably including you too, so perhaps some grace is in order. I’m white, H is BIPOC, we have 1 (possibly 2) LGBTQ+ kids, and H and I have both had to learn new ways of operating. He did misogynistic things, I did racist things, we both did homophobic things. Maybe not big things, but still things. And re-learning new ways of thinking and acting is HARD, and we both still make mistakes, but over time it gets better.


This comment is weird. Most yoga studios are super crunchy and would happily hire a South Asian woman with lifelong experience and cultural ties to the practice over a bubbly blonde lady. The bubbly blonde ladies mostly teach pilates, Barre, or orange theory type classes, you don't find as many of them teaching yoga, which is not a "bubbly" discipline. There are white women teaching yoga, but as a veteran of many yoga studios, there does not appear to be any preference for them over WOC, and especially not a South Asian woman with a cultural connection to the practice. My impression is that there are a lot of white women teaching yoga because there are a lot of white women taking yoga.

I also remember the conversation around "white women's tears" after George Floyd snd I do think it was useful. I know it made me think about whether and how I might use vulnerability to escape responsibility. It's worth discussing.

But I also remember how rapidly the conversation about how white women benefit from white supremacy, and how they can do better, was rapidly coopted by white men who gleefully started calling white women they found too loud, middle aged, and unappealing "Karens" and started using that conversation to silence white women who have valid perspectives or who have been hurt or discriminated against. It became another way to silence and ignore women. Conveniently, as the MeToo movement had been gaining steam.


PP. I don’t really want to argue about yoga - I’ve been involved in the yoga scene for over 20 years, I’ve worked for several large yoga companies, and I dated a well-known instructor. There’s definitely always been a bias up until recently.

But your comment proves my point. When it comes to men, everyone groups them together and says they’re whining, mad, sad, flawed, and at fault.

Then when it comes to women, people expect nuance. Not all yoga studios are that way, only some. Yes, maybe white women do some things wrong, but then men came in and called them Karen’s to silence them. White women dominate a field (yoga) because white women are the ones who want to be in that field (which is no different than saying men dominate tech/C suite/etc because it’s primarily men who want to be in those fields).

Men ought to be extended the same nuance. Yes, some men are POS like some women are. But most are probably navigating the same challenges we all do, and it’s not fair to group them all as “they’re just upset they’re not on top anymore”.


More men voted for the felon than women did. They’re actively discouraging college with their base. So, it tracks to hold them more responsible.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 10:13     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.


70%+ of c suite jobs are men.

Not sure which Olympics your watching.


And >90% of work related fatalities are men.

Women don't want equality. They just want more representation in the easiest, cushiest fields that pay the most, which are by in large easy going paper pushing white collar jobs in a safe, insulated office environment where you have endless useless meetings and click computer screens all day to make PowerPoint presentations.

You never hear women crying about more and equal representation to be garbage collectors. Or Fishermen. Or lumberjacks. Or plumbers. Women never want to do the hardest, dirtiest, and most dangerous jobs. It's not really about equality. We will be equal once women make up 50% of work place deaths. Let's worry about that before their representation in the C suite, which is only an extremely small fraction of jobs.


This is blatantly false. We know a young woman who became a welder after college, who is actively trying to recruit more women. Lots of women doing this in the trades.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 10:11     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.


70%+ of c suite jobs are men.

Not sure which Olympics your watching.


Women should start their own companies then rather than cry about it. Many studies have shown that men are more willing to take bigger risks than women. Women cannot be risk adverse, then cry later on when they're not on charge because they didn't want to take the risk starting businesses. Women always want everyone else to do the heavy lifting for them, then come in and take over control. Ha, that's not the way the world works. Put up or shut up. Why don't you put your home and all do your life's savings on the line to start a business if you want to be CEO so much?


They are. In 2021, 49% of new companies were started by women.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 10:11     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.


70%+ of c suite jobs are men.

Not sure which Olympics your watching.


Women should start their own companies then rather than cry about it. Many studies have shown that men are more willing to take bigger risks than women. Women cannot be risk adverse, then cry later on when they're not on charge because they didn't want to take the risk starting businesses. Women always want everyone else to do the heavy lifting for them, then come in and take over control. Ha, that's not the way the world works. Put up or shut up. Why don't you put your home and all do your life's savings on the line to start a business if you want to be CEO so much?


Hmmm, let’s see…Women don’t have the same access to capital that mean do.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 10:09     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.


70%+ of c suite jobs are men.

Not sure which Olympics your watching.


And >90% of work related fatalities are men.

Women don't want equality. They just want more representation in the easiest, cushiest fields that pay the most, which are by in large easy going paper pushing white collar jobs in a safe, insulated office environment where you have endless useless meetings and click computer screens all day to make PowerPoint presentations.

You never hear women crying about more and equal representation to be garbage collectors. Or Fishermen. Or lumberjacks. Or plumbers. Women never want to do the hardest, dirtiest, and most dangerous jobs. It's not really about equality. We will be equal once women make up 50% of work place deaths. Let's worry about that before their representation in the C suite, which is only an extremely small fraction of jobs.


Because women already have these types of jobs. House cleaners, cashiers, nurses etc. There’s are equivalent blue collar jobs for women.

There’s also the fact that women perform the most dangerous job there is. Birthing children. Something that is laughably more dangerous than being a plumber.

How sexist you didn’t even realize this.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 10:09     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, not sure if you remember this but prior to 2020 white women had the same attitudes towards BIPOC and especially WOC.

Talk to any WOC and they’ll have stories about the time a white woman did something racist, and when called out, cried or otherwise had a meltdown to flip the situation and make it all about comforting them.

I was in the yoga scene for 20 years and appropriation was especially bad. Nobody would hire a South Asian instructor who had been practicing since childhood; it was all about the young, blonde, gorgeous women who were mostly former dancers. And if you pointed out that perhaps we should hire South Asian yoga teachers to close the wage gap between them and the blondes, there were the same arguments used in the gender wage gap of “they don’t bring in as much revenue” or “they don’t teach as well” or “we hire based on merit”.

Things started to change after the murder of George Floyd, when it became in vogue for white women to “do the work” and become anti-racist. Not because of what POC had been saying for decades, but because other white women were doing it, and it gave them a way to prove they weren’t racist to other white people. I saw yoga teachers hire anti-racism coaches for themselves and rebrand rather than switching to teaching Pilates or general fitness.

And watch the responses this post gets. You’ll see women go “no, that’s not true, I’m not racist, it’s okay for white people to teach yoga, you can’t even do yoga without someone getting upset….” Which is fine, but that’s the same things these men are saying. “I’m not sexist, I’m not a bad guy, I care about women, you can’t even give a compliment without someone getting upset….”

This isn’t to just slam on white women. I am one. But it’s to point out that society has changed rapidly the last few decades, and people haven’t yet developed the skills to navigate these new expectations, probably including you too, so perhaps some grace is in order. I’m white, H is BIPOC, we have 1 (possibly 2) LGBTQ+ kids, and H and I have both had to learn new ways of operating. He did misogynistic things, I did racist things, we both did homophobic things. Maybe not big things, but still things. And re-learning new ways of thinking and acting is HARD, and we both still make mistakes, but over time it gets better.


This comment is weird. Most yoga studios are super crunchy and would happily hire a South Asian woman with lifelong experience and cultural ties to the practice over a bubbly blonde lady. The bubbly blonde ladies mostly teach pilates, Barre, or orange theory type classes, you don't find as many of them teaching yoga, which is not a "bubbly" discipline. There are white women teaching yoga, but as a veteran of many yoga studios, there does not appear to be any preference for them over WOC, and especially not a South Asian woman with a cultural connection to the practice. My impression is that there are a lot of white women teaching yoga because there are a lot of white women taking yoga.

I also remember the conversation around "white women's tears" after George Floyd snd I do think it was useful. I know it made me think about whether and how I might use vulnerability to escape responsibility. It's worth discussing.

But I also remember how rapidly the conversation about how white women benefit from white supremacy, and how they can do better, was rapidly coopted by white men who gleefully started calling white women they found too loud, middle aged, and unappealing "Karens" and started using that conversation to silence white women who have valid perspectives or who have been hurt or discriminated against. It became another way to silence and ignore women. Conveniently, as the MeToo movement had been gaining steam.


PP. I don’t really want to argue about yoga - I’ve been involved in the yoga scene for over 20 years, I’ve worked for several large yoga companies, and I dated a well-known instructor. There’s definitely always been a bias up until recently.

But your comment proves my point. When it comes to men, everyone groups them together and says they’re whining, mad, sad, flawed, and at fault.

Then when it comes to women, people expect nuance. Not all yoga studios are that way, only some. Yes, maybe white women do some things wrong, but then men came in and called them Karen’s to silence them. White women dominate a field (yoga) because white women are the ones who want to be in that field (which is no different than saying men dominate tech/C suite/etc because it’s primarily men who want to be in those fields).

Men ought to be extended the same nuance. Yes, some men are POS like some women are. But most are probably navigating the same challenges we all do, and it’s not fair to group them all as “they’re just upset they’re not on top anymore”.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 09:57     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.


+1
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 09:53     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.


70%+ of c suite jobs are men.

Not sure which Olympics your watching.


Women should start their own companies then rather than cry about it. Many studies have shown that men are more willing to take bigger risks than women. Women cannot be risk adverse, then cry later on when they're not on charge because they didn't want to take the risk starting businesses. Women always want everyone else to do the heavy lifting for them, then come in and take over control. Ha, that's not the way the world works. Put up or shut up. Why don't you put your home and all do your life's savings on the line to start a business if you want to be CEO so much?


I’m a woman, and I mostly agree with this. I remember reading a post on here years ago when someone mentioned women/minorities/etc. “just wanting a seat at the table” and a woman said something along the lines of “build your own table”.

That being said, whenever men start talking about how women don’t want “real equality” I would like to remind them (and women) about something called opportunity cost. Particularly when it comes to reproduction. Our wombs are worth a hell of a lot more than your sperm, so women should be mindful of that and not allow some man to gaslight her into thinking he doesn’t owe her (for lack of a better term) for carrying, birthing, and raising his child. This is the area in which you find men wanting women to do the heavy lifting for them but then whine about “equality” when they have to pay child support or alimony…
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 09:50     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:To be honest, if you’re a white male in this country and you need a warehouse job, I figure you’re seriously defective in some way.


What does this mean?


It means that poster is a loon. Or very sheltered, which can about to the same thing.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 09:47     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, if you’re a white male in this country and you need a warehouse job, I figure you’re seriously defective in some way.


What does this mean?
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 09:33     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.


70%+ of c suite jobs are men.

Not sure which Olympics your watching.


And >90% of work related fatalities are men.

Women don't want equality. They just want more representation in the easiest, cushiest fields that pay the most, which are by in large easy going paper pushing white collar jobs in a safe, insulated office environment where you have endless useless meetings and click computer screens all day to make PowerPoint presentations.

You never hear women crying about more and equal representation to be garbage collectors. Or Fishermen. Or lumberjacks. Or plumbers. Women never want to do the hardest, dirtiest, and most dangerous jobs. It's not really about equality. We will be equal once women make up 50% of work place deaths. Let's worry about that before their representation in the C suite, which is only an extremely small fraction of jobs.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 09:25     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.


70%+ of c suite jobs are men.

Not sure which Olympics your watching.


Women should start their own companies then rather than cry about it. Many studies have shown that men are more willing to take bigger risks than women. Women cannot be risk adverse, then cry later on when they're not on charge because they didn't want to take the risk starting businesses. Women always want everyone else to do the heavy lifting for them, then come in and take over control. Ha, that's not the way the world works. Put up or shut up. Why don't you put your home and all do your life's savings on the line to start a business if you want to be CEO so much?
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 09:18     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

Anonymous wrote:What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.


70%+ of c suite jobs are men.

Not sure which Olympics your watching.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 09:08     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

What a surprise. Another man bashing thread on DCUM. Nurse Ratched army loves to brigade around here.

White women are the worst. They love to double dip - they get their white privilege AND get to try to leverage all the gender oppression Olympics in their favor. They’re often the most cringeworthy.
Anonymous
Post 01/17/2025 09:01     Subject: NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

To be honest, if you’re a white male in this country and you need a warehouse job, I figure you’re seriously defective in some way.