Anonymous wrote:You were wrong to check your phone at the table. You should have ignored her instead of responding. Did you really think any good would have come out of responding? And couldn’t you see the impact responding would cause?

And you’ve got to give her a break given your FIL’s condition. She’s got to be sad and scared.

Would you give the same advice if the genders were reversed and the MIL or FIL berated the son-in-law for looking at their phone?

My family litmus test is “would this be acceptable or likely behavior if this was a close friend”? Would the MIL have berated their good friend for looking at a phone, would you have responded in that way if it was your close friend that said that to you, would the spouse have said nothing to de-escalate the situation of a close friend going thru a tough time berating their wife about looking at their cell phone, leave even when they could have stayed behind after the confrontation, and then go out to party with different friends on NYE? I understand it’s different with the emotional bonds and parent child relationships and spouse relationships are different than friends. However, the bar of how we treat each other should be higher with family because of those bonds than how we treat friends when often it’s reversed because the BS bar is far lower with friends and that relationship is not guaranteed.

Haha, it’s honestly hilarious how quick some white women are to jump at the chance to condescend to someone, especially when the word “immigrant” enters the conversation. Like, really? Suddenly it’s all pearl-clutching about manners and pretending to be the authority on civility—when we all know what’s actually going on here. Another white American man showing interest in someone outside their little bubble, and the claws come out.

I see you, Miss “Eat with Your Mouth Closed” over there. The same one preaching about manners while clearly missing the part where real decency is about how you treat people, not whether you adhere to some outdated, performative nonsense. Manners mean nothing if you’re cold, fake, or just plain mean under the surface. Honestly, some people are like relics from another time—polished on the outside, but fundamentally stuck in their weird, bitter ways. A bunch of weird dinosaurs, clinging to fake rules instead of actual kindness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your phone should not be visible at the dinner table. It should not be in your lap, either. Leave it in your purse somewhere away from the table, or put it on a shelf or side table away from the dinner table. I can't believe you just pulled out your phone at the dinner table, as a guest, on a holiday no less. Even my kids would have viewed this as tacky at this point.

I don't understand how you got this far in life and never learned that.

In some cultures this etiquette does not exist. Not saying it's bad. But it's socially acceptable to check your phone during dinner. Fact.

It's also socially acceptable to loudly belch at the table in Asia.
And eat with your mouth open.

Anonymous wrote:OP, your phone should not be visible at the dinner table. It should not be in your lap, either. Leave it in your purse somewhere away from the table, or put it on a shelf or side table away from the dinner table. I can't believe you just pulled out your phone at the dinner table, as a guest, on a holiday no less. Even my kids would have viewed this as tacky at this point.

I don't understand how you got this far in life and never learned that.

In some cultures this etiquette does not exist. Not saying it's bad. But it's socially acceptable to check your phone during dinner. Fact.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It doesn’t sound like either your husband or his family like you much, OP. How is your married life in general?

Op here. Not great. My MIL hasn't particularly liked me and caused interference many times.Husband is manipulative and emotionally absuive. its par for the course for them to pin everything on me.

Been there. MIL doesn't like you and spews hatred at you subconsciously. Your reaction was assertive but, of course, not wise. But, hey, some people can't naturally be two-faced.

Anonymous wrote:15 pages of responses and only one other person realized the OP was written by ChatGPT?

It is an oddly written troll post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m on OP’s side. MIL overreacted and got what she deserves. Checking a phone at the table is fine.

No, using your phone at the table or during meals is absolutely poor manners.

According to...who?? Who makes these rules?! Y'all are clowns for making ish up as you go along. Is this from the Miss Manners 2024 Edition? Please get a life and free yourself from living up to some odd standard that the majority doesn't even care about.

These are common standards of behavior in a civil society that you must have missed while being raised in the barn.

Please explain how unhinged rants to your DIL belong in civil society?

Read the thread. PP couldn’t believe that it is not OK to bring your phone to the table.

I have read it, maybe you havent. If someone "slights you" by looking at their phone it is not appropriate to go off on a childish rant. You can't just blame OP when she was simply reacting to how her MIL treated her.

jfc i weighed in on this thread days ago and this is still a thing?
you dont get to scold people for looking at their phone at dinner unless they are your own kids and they are under 18. And everyone i know looks at their phone at some points during meals. the only people mad about this are boomers. although even my boomer parents do it.

15 pages of responses and only one other person realized the OP was written by ChatGPT?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, your phone should not be visible at the dinner table. It should not be in your lap, either. Leave it in your purse somewhere away from the table, or put it on a shelf or side table away from the dinner table. I can't believe you just pulled out your phone at the dinner table, as a guest, on a holiday no less. Even my kids would have viewed this as tacky at this point.

I don't understand how you got this far in life and never learned that.

Are you 90?

DP. That pp is someone with manners. That is not age limited.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is good. Phone using at dinner, immigrant, and MIL & husband issues do get people riled up.

It's pretty amazing for someone who just a few months ago was posting about being a single woman. The tell is always multiple detailed paragraphs. OP gave herself away when she confused meat with broccoli.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/weblog/2025/01/02/update010225

How do you respond to Jeff outing you, OP?

Thought those dialogs in OP were poorly written

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m on OP’s side. MIL overreacted and got what she deserves. Checking a phone at the table is fine.

No, using your phone at the table or during meals is absolutely poor manners.

According to...who?? Who makes these rules?! Y'all are clowns for making ish up as you go along. Is this from the Miss Manners 2024 Edition? Please get a life and free yourself from living up to some odd standard that the majority doesn't even care about.

These are common standards of behavior in a civil society that you must have missed while being raised in the barn.

Please explain how unhinged rants to your DIL belong in civil society?

Read the thread. PP couldn’t believe that it is not OK to bring your phone to the table.

I have read it, maybe you havent. If someone "slights you" by looking at their phone it is not appropriate to go off on a childish rant. You can't just blame OP when she was simply reacting to how her MIL treated her.