Anonymous wrote:Regret not marrying my college boyfriend. I've never been as in sync with (or understood by) another person again. But I was 21 and wasn't thinking of long term commitment at all. He married quickly after me and I married closer to 30. I often wonder if he thinks of me in the same way. I have a hard time believing he doesn't. We just got each other. Doesn't matter now but it's a regret.

Same. He was a great lover and could satisfy me like no one else has.

I regret the college I chose. It's a good school, but I was too scared to be far from home. Maybe if I had just bitten the bullet at 18, I would have avoided the enmeshment and low self-esteem that hampered me for the next 20 years.

Being really mean to my mom from ages 12ish-32, when she died. Idk why I was that way, and now it is too late to change it.

Not considering earning potential when picking my career path. I’m reasonably happy where I ended up, so the regret isn’t huge, but the same level of success in a different field would have resulted in a much different life style, being able to send kids to college of their choice, etc. Ditto for DH. Wish at least one of us had weighed earning potential higher than doing good in the world, or tried harder to figure out how we could have both.

I just read a NYT essay by the author Ann Patchett who says her regret is email.

Never telling him I loved him

Not standing up for myself more often.

Unlike others, I don't know that I do regret law school, but I did not sink a lot of money into it, fortunately. Maybe this is just a lack of imagination on my part.

Anonymous wrote:Not going to a better college. I was very smart, but my parents (who had not been to college) , persuaded me to jump at the first full scholarship I was offered (at a mediocre school, full of mediocre kids). That set the trajectory of my life.

Meh, not everyone can afford to pay the ridiculously high college prices; this is assuming you would not have qualified for full financial aid. So they (or you?) would have had to take out loans to attend. Would that necessarily have been better?

I also did not apply to super expensive colleges that I knew parents wouldn't pay for, but not a top regret.

Not going to a better college. I was very smart, but my parents (who had not been to college) , persuaded me to jump at the first full scholarship I was offered (at a mediocre school, full of mediocre kids). That set the trajectory of my life.

Anonymous wrote:This one is going to be total fodder for this crowd but ... not even applying to Harvard or any Ivy when I was graduating high school. I would have gotten in (high stats, from a rural area in the South, plus it was the 90s) but refused to even try because I thought it was too elitist. I don't think my career was ultimately harmed, but I didn't have a great college experience and find myself wishing i got to have that sort of college experience.

Similar. I was heavily recruited by multiple Ivies. Very likely would have gotten in, but I didn't believe in myself at all crippling anxiety ( that I didn't know of at the time) and low self-esteem. I purposely sabotaged myself during the application process.


I also regret not taking an interview for a job after college again anxiety and self-doubt.

I wish I had been able to receive help for anxiety early but that's not the kind of household I grew up in.

Anonymous wrote:that affair.

Well, at least you regret it. Don't think my spouse would say the same, but instead felt entitled to it.
Which brings me to my regret... But besides that, staying at a dead-end, low paying, yet stressful job for far too long, bc I valued flexibility for kids' sake over myself. Past 20 years have been all about kids rather than self, which explains in part the horrible marriage and poor career choices.

Anonymous wrote:Regret not marrying my college boyfriend. I've never been as in sync with (or understood by) another person again. But I was 21 and wasn't thinking of long term commitment at all. He married quickly after me and I married closer to 30. I often wonder if he thinks of me in the same way. I have a hard time believing he doesn't. We just got each other. Doesn't matter now but it's a regret.

FWIW I am thankful I did NOT marry my college-era boyfriend. We dated for almost six years. I was also felt very understood and in sync with him. I started my working career and became successful and he seemed to stall. Eventually he decided to do a radical move to a far distant place and I decided (thankfully) that I could not go with him although he tried HARD to get me to. It broke my heart.

Twenty years later I happened to be travelling to his home town and met him briefly for a meal. He was still stalled after 20 years and was living with a professional woman who paid all the bills and had been supporting him for some time. They were not married and had no children. He seemed to have spent most of his time navel-gazing and decrying the state of the world.

Once in awhile I look at his social media profile and he seems to be the same.

Regret not marrying my college boyfriend. I've never been as in sync with (or understood by) another person again. But I was 21 and wasn't thinking of long term commitment at all. He married quickly after me and I married closer to 30. I often wonder if he thinks of me in the same way. I have a hard time believing he doesn't. We just got each other. Doesn't matter now but it's a regret.

I regret letting friendships slip away due to lack of attention, neglect.

I regret letting my home become so cluttered that I dread having people over, so we just don’t.

I regret that my social skills have deteriorated since COVID and work from home. I have become way too naive and trusting. I’m now a magnet for nasty/ impatient receptionists, salespeople and coworkers. I try to treat people with kindness and respect and don’t know how to react to rudeness. It catches me off guard, I guess.