Anonymous
Post 03/05/2024 22:12     Subject: Re:Test results came back positive

File for divorce. No mistakes allowed in marriage.

The dating market is great out there for single middle-aged mothers.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2024 21:50     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It matters which STD it is because herpes is a divorce petition with negligence and civil assault leveraged in, but HIV can be a criminal charge if spouse knew or should have known. That’s why OP needs a lawyer.


This. Depending on the STD, I would tell him to move out and file charges. I had ti have a full panel after ex-H cheated when I was pregnant. Gaslit the crap out of me. I finally left for good when she was 4.


File what type of charges. You’ve watched too much tv. Yes leave.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2024 21:48     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The news backs this reality up. There are too many absent fathers in children's lives and women are sinking into poverty and kids growing up with more and more problems. Just do a Google search on absent fathers. Its a hot topic. There is no immediate abuse that not having sex wouldn't solve and OPs child is very young. She should be strategic and use her husband to provide the best amount of money and help she can get out of him for her daughter's sake and her own.


Cheating on a spouse is a form of abuse.

Why should she model a dysfunctional relationship for her child, and share her home with someone she hates?

Why do you think women should have such low self esteem (and options) that they have to subject themselves and their children to this existence.

HE broke up the family, not her.The damage is done...don't make her feel like it is her responsibility.


I think this because there are just not a lot of good men out there. Might as well use them for something worthwhile. Unless she's beautiful and wealthy she's going to have a hard time finding a guy to care for her and her 5 year old.


Sorry but are you projecting here and trying to make yourself feel better about choices you have made?


She can care for herself , better than this guy has.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2024 21:34     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:I’m really sorry, OP. See a divorce lawyer to figure out what the best next steps are before you confront him. It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind to divorce him and I would do the same in your shoes. I would ignore those who are trying to make you second guess this.


Agree with this.

And also, after consulting with the divorce lawyer, do exactly what that person recommends.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2024 20:40     Subject: Test results came back positive

I’m really sorry, OP. See a divorce lawyer to figure out what the best next steps are before you confront him. It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind to divorce him and I would do the same in your shoes. I would ignore those who are trying to make you second guess this.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2024 17:34     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:It matters which STD it is because herpes is a divorce petition with negligence and civil assault leveraged in, but HIV can be a criminal charge if spouse knew or should have known. That’s why OP needs a lawyer.


This. Depending on the STD, I would tell him to move out and file charges. I had ti have a full panel after ex-H cheated when I was pregnant. Gaslit the crap out of me. I finally left for good when she was 4.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2024 17:29     Subject: Test results came back positive

I am not clear what STI OP has.
HPV or TV?
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2024 15:55     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is the std


Different poster. Why does it matter?


HPV could be from >12 years ago


Exactly. I got it when I was 25 from a fling, way before marriage and before the vaccine. Treated it, then it went into remission. Has returned twice and gone away twice on its own. Has come out of remission when I am under extreme stress.


Idiots. She thought she had a yeast infection.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2024 15:51     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:I'm OP. I spoke with my OB today who said I likely got it in last 3-6 mos...my PCP on the other hand thinks it's possible i could have been asymptomatic for awhile. I think I'm going with OPs assessment since they see it alot more. Planning to broach topic tonight after DC goes to bed. Regardless, good PSA here that this STI exists. Maybe I'm naive, but I've never even heard of it until now.


Checking back in, OP. Hope everything went well last night.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2024 20:12     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What I thought was a run of the mill yeast infection turned out positive for an std. I've been monogamous and married for 10 yrs, together for 12. We have been quite detached and I've been unhappy but this has really taken me by surprise. We share a child who is 5. What would you do? My DH is generally dismissive and in denial on most things so I imagine he'll gaslit me and deny it when I broach the topic. It's a nightmare to think of co parenting and sharing my time with my child. Can I ask him to move out? Should I call a divorce lawyer before even bringing it up? There is no chance of reconciliation as far as im concerned.

And to preempt what I know at least one person will say, yes I know and am aware I need to now get a full panel std test. Believe me, I know.


Have you gotten tested for TV (Trich) when you’ve had “yeast infections” previously? Maybe your “yeast infections” have always been TV and your husband had nothing to do with it. Even if he’s infected he might well have zero symptoms.
o


A sexually transmitted infection caused by a parasite.
Trichomoniasis is among the most common sexually transmitted infections. Risk factors include multiple sexual partners and not using condoms during sex.


And dirty towels


Maybe OP’s dh used his gf’s dirty towel on his chafed penis after he hosed himself off at her house. I’d buy that scenario.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2024 20:04     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The news backs this reality up. There are too many absent fathers in children's lives and women are sinking into poverty and kids growing up with more and more problems. Just do a Google search on absent fathers. Its a hot topic. There is no immediate abuse that not having sex wouldn't solve and OPs child is very young. She should be strategic and use her husband to provide the best amount of money and help she can get out of him for her daughter's sake and her own.


Cheating on a spouse is a form of abuse.

Why should she model a dysfunctional relationship for her child, and share her home with someone she hates?

Why do you think women should have such low self esteem (and options) that they have to subject themselves and their children to this existence.

HE broke up the family, not her.The damage is done...don't make her feel like it is her responsibility.


I think this because there are just not a lot of good men out there. Might as well use them for something worthwhile. Unless she's beautiful and wealthy she's going to have a hard time finding a guy to care for her and her 5 year old.


Sorry but are you projecting here and trying to make yourself feel better about choices you have made?
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2024 19:40     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I found out my now XH had cheated when I got a bacterial infection. I’d had a suspicion and he admitted it once confronted. I’d never ever had a BV before. My doctor indicated that it’s not uncommon for married women to catch their husbands cheating that way. Something about a change that your body can detect.

I’m sorry OP. Start compiling your financial information and talk to a lawyer (talk to several, he won’t be able to use the ones you talk to) before you let on that you know. Hopefully the std can be cleared with antibiotics.

Same, I got my first ever UTI and then first BV 6 months later. I'm embarrassed to say it never clicked (I thought something changed after having kids) but a year later I found out he was cheating during that time. It is so disgusting and violating. I'm really sorry OP.


BV is not an STD


Also a UTI is not an STD


No, but both can happen when someone introduces a new partner’s germs. Gross.


Also BV isn’t considered an STD yet. There are still a lot of unknowns surrounding transmission and source of infection.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2024 19:34     Subject: Test results came back positive

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The STD is TV.


Is it possible to spread through public toilets or pools?

lol, when I was a teenager, my friend got pubic crabs from her boyfriend. He told her he got them at the beach. lol, she believed him until us girls educated her.


My friend told me her sister got it from a toilet seat. They were very religious and no sex before marriage.

This was a 30 something year old married woman/Harvard grad atty. I of course just said Okaaayy…
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2024 19:32     Subject: Test results came back positive

I am really sorry, OP. Sending you strength as well.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2024 18:34     Subject: Test results came back positive

Good luck, OP. Sending you strength.