Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oookay.

Consider talking to your husband when you come back. Let him know that you wish you were better prepared.

Having to bathe out of the bucket is not the end of the world. Not eating chicken nuggets is not the end of the world. Being constantly cold would be, so keep your list reasonable, and see how you can work around it, the next time you go. Maybe he goes first and you join him later, to keep your portion of the trip shorter. Tell him you want to see the country, not just sit at home. This will automatically get you to places where you will have access to different food, shopping, etc.

And unless you have very young kids, work on expanding their palate. There are things you can do here to make your next trip easier.

OP here. Have you done this for a MONTH? I think not. Our kids are very young, and we were advised that boxed food would be better. We all got super sick during the last trip. Please let me know what we can do to make our trip easier... I planned how to make this trip easier for months.. there is only so much you can do. His family doesn't live close to a big city.. there isn't a lot of shopping and restaurants around... going out to restaurants and using a supermarket is a newer concept here...

OP, you sounds really spoiled. You actually sound a lot like the "children of immigrant" american kids who go back to visit their parents home countries and then freak out at the differences.

I'm, one, by the way. I've used buckets to bathe for a month at a time. If you do it right, you actually get much, much cleaner than a typical shower. I agree that when it's cold, bukcet baths are harder.

It's all very good for your soul. You will survive. You may realize you need less.

You sound like some troll. OP is not spoiled to expect warm running water in her bathroom, and food that doesn’t make them sick and is available in sufficient amounts. You, PP, and OP’s DH all moved to the US to escape those awful conditions and now you act like people who expect ma minimum of comfort and hygiene are spoilt? Give me a break!

Thank you. Just love all the aunties sitting in their big US houses with showers and toilets and conveniences and safety critiscising and scolding someone who is having a tough time. That you wouldn't live in or go back to.

Anonymous wrote:So she doesn't have access to washer and dryer and has young kids and is staying there for a month. That would be rough.

No warm running water. Rough

No heater. Rough

Her towel is probably not dry the next time she takes a shower because they don't have dryers available. The bath towels are also very different. They aren't fluffy like in the US. They are thin similar to using something thinner than a shirt to dry off.

I don't think op is dramatic for any of the above. Pretty much all Americans would have trouble with any of these. Most could do it for a week but a month would be hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surely you’re not just sitting around the house all day, OP? Organize a trip to see the local attractions. Do some shopping. Get yourself a jamdani sari.

Op here. I can't emphasize this enough. They don't care about doing stuff like this. If I bring this up they will think I am demanding. Sitting around having family come to visit us is what they want us to do. It's what my husband wants to do. He doesn't want to be on the go. Dhaka is always traffic-jammed. You can easily take hours to get anywhere. It's not fun.

I thought you are not in Dhaka , but Faridhpur??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I visit India with my American spouse and our kids we are so busy with meeting family and friends, traveling and shopping that we barely have a moment to sit down. And we eat all the local food like there’s no tomorrow, with sensible precautions. We go for 2 weeks. A month would be heaven. I don’t think I’d be writing essays on DCUM.

Op isn't Indian. She's not from there. Very different. Likely, she can't speak to most of his family because she doesn't speak Bengali.

My spouse isn’t Indian and my kids are born and raised in the US. OP has an excuse for everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surely you’re not just sitting around the house all day, OP? Organize a trip to see the local attractions. Do some shopping. Get yourself a jamdani sari.

Op here. I can't emphasize this enough. They don't care about doing stuff like this. If I bring this up they will think I am demanding. Sitting around having family come to visit us is what they want us to do. It's what my husband wants to do. He doesn't want to be on the go. Dhaka is always traffic-jammed. You can easily take hours to get anywhere. It's not fun.

Anonymous wrote:I have read all of your posts,Op
across different threads that you started.

It really is beyond belief that:

- you have been to Bangladesh before and are still unprepared for many things

- that even in your second visit you cannot navigate your way around simple cooking things like breakfast other than using a pancake maker that you took from US

- there are many ways to get across the street without walking if thats difficult for you - you said your kids like the rickshaw.

- LOADS of local places sell pizza there not just Dominoes

- you keep saying Bengal this and Bengal that, it’s “Bengali” - please know the difference if you are married to a Bangladeshi, and have kids too so you can teach them

- if you visit a place like Serene Garden in “rural Bangladesh “ and still complain about dirty cushions, sorry you are a troll.

- you claim no one told you about certain things - you could surely look them up online when in the US, but you didn't because you want to be ignorant, or want dh to spoon feed you everything. Or you love drama.

- communication with your dh needs to be a lot more transparent,( and has nothing to do with Bangladesh and its rural cities, ) but thats a different story.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Surely you’re not just sitting around the house all day, OP? Organize a trip to see the local attractions. Do some shopping. Get yourself a jamdani sari.

Op here. I can't emphasize this enough. They don't care about doing stuff like this. If I bring this up they will think I am demanding. Sitting around having family come to visit us is what they want us to do. It's what my husband wants to do. He doesn't want to be on the go. Dhaka is always traffic-jammed. You can easily take hours to get anywhere. It's not fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I visit India with my American spouse and our kids we are so busy with meeting family and friends, traveling and shopping that we barely have a moment to sit down. And we eat all the local food like there’s no tomorrow, with sensible precautions. We go for 2 weeks. A month would be heaven. I don’t think I’d be writing essays on DCUM.

Op isn't Indian. She's not from there. Very different. Likely, she can't speak to most of his family because she doesn't speak Bengali.

Anonymous wrote:When I visit India with my American spouse and our kids we are so busy with meeting family and friends, traveling and shopping that we barely have a moment to sit down. And we eat all the local food like there’s no tomorrow, with sensible precautions. We go for 2 weeks. A month would be heaven. I don’t think I’d be writing essays on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:Surely you’re not just sitting around the house all day, OP? Organize a trip to see the local attractions. Do some shopping. Get yourself a jamdani sari.

Anonymous wrote:When I visit India with my American spouse and our kids we are so busy with meeting family and friends, traveling and shopping that we barely have a moment to sit down. And we eat all the local food like there’s no tomorrow, with sensible precautions. We go for 2 weeks. A month would be heaven. I don’t think I’d be writing essays on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Visiting anyone for a month is difficult.

Living in a poor rural area is difficult, more so if you don't know language and local culture.

Living with In-laws is difficult.

Traveling with young kids and uncooperative spouse is difficult.

I do have some questions.

Why you didn't visit before marrying him?

Why you didn't research and prepare yourself?

Treat it as an adventure. Next time tell DH that either trip has to be shorter or he needs to let you pack accordingly.

At least you've good internet service and in-laws are nice.

I'm also from a third world country though middle class and from a big city, even i would have problems living in a poor rural town with a DH who is not helping find solutions because he is trying to prove something to his people.

You can have these discussions with DH later,for now make lemonade with your given lemons.

Your premise is incorrect. She is not in a poor rural town. This is not her first trip. She is in a fairly large town with all sorts of amenities available to her. Her ILs are not poor. Based on the pictures posted, they're at least middle class. She seems to have good internet. She claims she's lying awake hungry, not because there is no food, but because she refuses to eat it. And who the hell takes an electric pancake maker to a country with incompatible voltage requirements, when all you really need is a griddle (which, any home that makes parathas will have)? Either OP is incredibly stupid, or a troll. I suspect the latter.

Op here as an AMERICAN it feels poor. I am freezing cold. There aren't any heaters here (not even space heaters) and the door is open all day and windows are open all night. It's very hard to take a bucket bath when you are cold. I think a lot of the people posting replies are originally from South Asia or grew up with immigrant parents and took lots of trips abroad. I will be okay but living like this for a month is really hard.

The temperature in Faridpur shows a high of 72 and a low of 54. That’s freezing? What are your children doing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oookay.

Consider talking to your husband when you come back. Let him know that you wish you were better prepared.

Having to bathe out of the bucket is not the end of the world. Not eating chicken nuggets is not the end of the world. Being constantly cold would be, so keep your list reasonable, and see how you can work around it, the next time you go. Maybe he goes first and you join him later, to keep your portion of the trip shorter. Tell him you want to see the country, not just sit at home. This will automatically get you to places where you will have access to different food, shopping, etc.

And unless you have very young kids, work on expanding their palate. There are things you can do here to make your next trip easier.

OP here. Have you done this for a MONTH? I think not. Our kids are very young, and we were advised that boxed food would be better. We all got super sick during the last trip. Please let me know what we can do to make our trip easier... I planned how to make this trip easier for months.. there is only so much you can do. His family doesn't live close to a big city.. there isn't a lot of shopping and restaurants around... going out to restaurants and using a supermarket is a newer concept here...

I hear ya OP.

I think bathing out of a bucket 🪣 for an entire month would equate a second form of hell for me!

I would be so angry that your husband never cautioned you on the way things are in his country…I would definitely discuss it w/him because it was disrespectful of him to not tell you these things.

What do you think Americans in the us did 150 years ago?

We have become so soft as a people and nation

My boyfriend grew up with an outhouse and bucket bath in rural Ohio. They did not get indoor plumbing until he was in high school. He mentioned the house they lived in when he was young was really, really old.

Our once a week cleaning lady in Frederick who lived in Brunswick had an outhouse for many many years. It was a big deal when she got indoor plumbing.