Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again - to clarify, letting yourself be judged by your PEERS, basically on your looks and popularity.

As women, this happens, whether we allow it or not.

Sure - but in the case of rushing, you are *asking* for your peers to judge you in that way. Makes no sense whatsoever.

Kind of like a job interview? Or an application to a private school? Or maybe a tryout for a sports team? Or maybe a dance competition?

No. Like none of those things, which are all judging you on your merit and/or talent. Perfect example of rationalization.

Anonymous wrote:[youtube]a

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck to any of you who have girls going into pref today. I know it's probably been a stressful week for the girls and there are probably tears this morning. The Friday cuts are the worst at the higher ranked sororities especially because girls felt that they had a shot still if they were there for house tours. My dd had her painful cuts earlier in the week but had many friends who were devastated on pref day. It all worked out though, even if they didn't get their top choices from earlier in the week, they all seem happy where they ended up.

“Devastated” on pref day?

Dear lord. Reality check please.

+1
So much manufactured drama. Ugh.

My dd got cut this weekend from the sororities she was interested in on pref day, she is indeed super bummed. Not at UVA.

+2 My DD was also cut from the top sororities on pref day. I would actually say devastated is the right adjective. It is so hard when you are voted out by girls your age. All her friends got bids from the top houses. Just really hard on your self esteem.

I am so sorry. Just reassure her she can rush again next year. If her friends are already in they can help her and get others to as well. I get the disappointment. It is more about being with her friends than in a sorority. I was in the top sorority at another school but it sounded a little nicer than the UVA process.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again - to clarify, letting yourself be judged by your PEERS, basically on your looks and popularity.

As women, this happens, whether we allow it or not.

Sure - but in the case of rushing, you are *asking* for your peers to judge you in that way. Makes no sense whatsoever.

Kind of like a job interview? Or an application to a private school? Or maybe a tryout for a sports team? Or maybe a dance competition?

Yes, but in those cases the applicants are being judged by their skills, not by their looks.

Or their family connections.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again - to clarify, letting yourself be judged by your PEERS, basically on your looks and popularity.

As women, this happens, whether we allow it or not.

Sure - but in the case of rushing, you are *asking* for your peers to judge you in that way. Makes no sense whatsoever.

Kind of like a job interview? Or an application to a private school? Or maybe a tryout for a sports team? Or maybe a dance competition?

Yes, but in those cases the applicants are being judged by their skills, not by their looks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again - to clarify, letting yourself be judged by your PEERS, basically on your looks and popularity.

As women, this happens, whether we allow it or not.

Sure - but in the case of rushing, you are *asking* for your peers to judge you in that way. Makes no sense whatsoever.

Kind of like a job interview? Or an application to a private school? Or maybe a tryout for a sports team? Or maybe a dance competition?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again - to clarify, letting yourself be judged by your PEERS, basically on your looks and popularity.

As women, this happens, whether we allow it or not.

Sure - but in the case of rushing, you are *asking* for your peers to judge you in that way. Makes no sense whatsoever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck to any of you who have girls going into pref today. I know it's probably been a stressful week for the girls and there are probably tears this morning. The Friday cuts are the worst at the higher ranked sororities especially because girls felt that they had a shot still if they were there for house tours. My dd had her painful cuts earlier in the week but had many friends who were devastated on pref day. It all worked out though, even if they didn't get their top choices from earlier in the week, they all seem happy where they ended up.

“Devastated” on pref day?

Dear lord. Reality check please.

+1
So much manufactured drama. Ugh.

My dd got cut this weekend from the sororities she was interested in on pref day, she is indeed super bummed. Not at UVA.

I'm sorry! That is painful. We were pushing our DD to rush (not at UVA) because so much of the social life at her school revolves around Greek life. She had signed up but dropped out before rush began. This thread makes me think that was the right call. She is kind of socially awkward and a little bit fragile right now. I think she would have been cut and been very upset.

Anonymous wrote:PP again - to clarify, letting yourself be judged by your PEERS, basically on your looks and popularity.

As women, this happens, whether we allow it or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread had me go down the rabbit hole of uva sorority IG pages. I went there in the late 90s. The pics make it look like it was exactly the same as it was then. Wasn’t my thing then and it really makes me wonder if it’s the place for DD.

Well, perhaps you can be a good parent, and tell your UVA student (like I did) about your concerns. I was President of my sorority back in the day. Huge. huge mistake. Both my kids know that. My UVA kid never pledged and never, ever went into one of the houses, which is easy because they are not on campus and only 30% participate.

Perhaps talk to your children and share your concerns instead of judging here. Lots of great students go to UVA and never participate - it's not like the big Greek houses in the south.

Meanwhile, my kid graduated UVA with highest honors and is overseas getting a doctorate. It can happen. Then law school. Imagine that.

+1

+1. My family was first gen. I stupidly got involved in sorority politics and regretted it. To this day. But that is MY issue at a SLAC.

But I did convey that attitude to my children; neither of which decided to pledge anywhere (one was at UVA)

it is what it is.

Some people like it. I did not. Stop judging.

Careful. The UVA board piece will chime in, “this thread is about UVA!!”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread had me go down the rabbit hole of uva sorority IG pages. I went there in the late 90s. The pics make it look like it was exactly the same as it was then. Wasn’t my thing then and it really makes me wonder if it’s the place for DD.

Well, perhaps you can be a good parent, and tell your UVA student (like I did) about your concerns. I was President of my sorority back in the day. Huge. huge mistake. Both my kids know that. My UVA kid never pledged and never, ever went into one of the houses, which is easy because they are not on campus and only 30% participate.

Perhaps talk to your children and share your concerns instead of judging here. Lots of great students go to UVA and never participate - it's not like the big Greek houses in the south.

Meanwhile, my kid graduated UVA with highest honors and is overseas getting a doctorate. It can happen. Then law school. Imagine that.

+1

+1. My family was first gen. I stupidly got involved in sorority politics and regretted it. To this day. But that is MY issue at a SLAC.

But I did convey that attitude to my children; neither of which decided to pledge anywhere (one was at UVA)

it is what it is.

Some people like it. I did not. Stop judging.

Makes me wonder if it’s the right place for her=judging? Ok…

I am so curious about all of this. My SLAC also had no Greek life so I’m reading the thread trying to understand.

What is the promise, and the potential payoff, of this process? It seems like a ton of stress, and (as PPs have observed) it hands a great deal of power over one’s happiness to other people. Can someone with sorority experience articulate why it’s all (potentially) worthwhile?

The question is genuine, and I promise I won’t respond with judgement (though obviously I can’t promise that for everyone here).

If only the houses were transparent about judging the PNMs on their looks, $$$ and popularity, but they say they are choosing them because of their grades, leadership, social skills, etc…. I guess the houses have to say that to be in good graces with UVA.

Plus, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and most “beholders” seem to prefer Causasian features. This just reinforces one of the reasons why I think DEI should still be a thing. Not sure if we can say we are a “meritocratic’ society. That whole “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” is just a falacy when so many people are still getting “in” (name the institution if your choosing) because of their looks and connections.

PP again - to clarify, letting yourself be judged by your PEERS, basically on your looks and popularity.

Anonymous wrote:[youtube]a

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good luck to any of you who have girls going into pref today. I know it's probably been a stressful week for the girls and there are probably tears this morning. The Friday cuts are the worst at the higher ranked sororities especially because girls felt that they had a shot still if they were there for house tours. My dd had her painful cuts earlier in the week but had many friends who were devastated on pref day. It all worked out though, even if they didn't get their top choices from earlier in the week, they all seem happy where they ended up.

“Devastated” on pref day?

Dear lord. Reality check please.

+1
So much manufactured drama. Ugh.

My dd got cut this weekend from the sororities she was interested in on pref day, she is indeed super bummed. Not at UVA.

+2 My DD was also cut from the top sororities on pref day. I would actually say devastated is the right adjective. It is so hard when you are voted out by girls your age. All her friends got bids from the top houses. Just really hard on your self esteem.

DP. I guess that's the point. Why would *anybody* put themselves in a position where they are being "voted out" by anyone? Why would you allow anyone to damage your self-esteem like that? It's just all so bizarre.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread had me go down the rabbit hole of uva sorority IG pages. I went there in the late 90s. The pics make it look like it was exactly the same as it was then. Wasn’t my thing then and it really makes me wonder if it’s the place for DD.

Well, perhaps you can be a good parent, and tell your UVA student (like I did) about your concerns. I was President of my sorority back in the day. Huge. huge mistake. Both my kids know that. My UVA kid never pledged and never, ever went into one of the houses, which is easy because they are not on campus and only 30% participate.

Perhaps talk to your children and share your concerns instead of judging here. Lots of great students go to UVA and never participate - it's not like the big Greek houses in the south.

Meanwhile, my kid graduated UVA with highest honors and is overseas getting a doctorate. It can happen. Then law school. Imagine that.

+1

+1. My family was first gen. I stupidly got involved in sorority politics and regretted it. To this day. But that is MY issue at a SLAC.

But I did convey that attitude to my children; neither of which decided to pledge anywhere (one was at UVA)

it is what it is.

Some people like it. I did not. Stop judging.