Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 10:09     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:Is he a gay cruiser? Is this a hotspot for random gay men to hook up


This
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 09:51     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He was parking there after bad days at work. He didn’t want to tell me because knew it wasn’t fair, but also knew once he got home he’d be bombarded by life (kids mostly, but also me just wanting to catch up after the day.) He’s not upset about the tracking. I’m not upset with him. We’ve devised a plan for the next time either of us needs a break, and a code word for when either of us just needs to be left alone for a bit once he/we get home.

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Thank you for updating us, OP. I would note that he was just seeking a "third place" to decompress before coming home to home's own kind of stresses. Perfectly normal and fine, but the issue was -- he wasn't communicating to you about either the stresses at work or the stresses he felt when he came home, was he? I'm relieved that you and he finally talked it out and have what sounds like a great plan for ensuring you both get to decompress from now on! Every couple should have a plan like that, I think.

This is also a good example that, despite DCUM's intense and pessimistic belief that Everyone Is Cheating All the Time -- no, they're really not, and sometimes the simplest answer is the right answer, as it was here.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 09:27     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
I would hang out in parking lots too if my spouse tracked my phone.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 09:19     Subject: Re:Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If he wanted alone time, why would he drive from where he works to random parking lots? Why not just sit in his car where he works?


This. Or just sit in his actual office.


Sitting in your office to decompress? The office/location/people/work that is causing all the stress?

You don't get it.

He needs to be away from all that. In a quiet, neutral place.

I'm a DH, and I've done this. Not often, but I have.

I usually stop at a place I can get something to sip (not even fancy. Like a Pepsi or something). Move my car to the far end of the parking lot. And just listen to something random. Sometimes its old music I loved as a teen. Or a random comedy album. Or even sports talk radio.

And just sit for 20 minutes.

I get OP's concern but she should really be more interested in what's stressing him out at work. Ask him about that. Being able to come home and talk about how work stresses him out may reduce the need to decompress in a random parking lot
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 08:45     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would drive by the lot one day around the time he goes to “relax.” The vibe might tell you all you need to know.

You could just street view it. He's not doing anything illicit in a Giant parking lot at 5:30PM.


You'd be surprised

Smiling to myself ... yes, you'd be surprised!!!
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 08:44     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:Yes it sounds believable. But it could also be a hookup, prostitute, drugs, drinking, binge eating, you name it. See what happens when you breach someone’s privacy and engage in unwarranted surveillance? You invite all kinds of scrutiny and drive yourself crazy. Maybe MYOB in the future and you’ll all be happier.


Are you saying that a spouse doesn't deserve to know if their partner is hooking up, engaging prostitutes, doing drugs, drinking on the sly, binge eating alone in a random parking lot because ignorance is bliss?
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 08:13     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:He was parking there after bad days at work. He didn’t want to tell me because knew it wasn’t fair, but also knew once he got home he’d be bombarded by life (kids mostly, but also me just wanting to catch up after the day.) He’s not upset about the tracking. I’m not upset with him. We’ve devised a plan for the next time either of us needs a break, and a code word for when either of us just needs to be left alone for a bit once he/we get home.


Sounds like you have a good plan in place now
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 07:57     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
OP when I want some time to decompress before getting home I park down the street. The grocery store part is the only thing that makes his actions sound potentially not innocent.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 07:37     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:Please tell me why you need to know where your spouse is. Every second of every day and how that is not creepy and stalking


Yeah installing a tracker with no good reason is stalker-ish but why would someone care so much if their spouse knows where they are via find my phone when it’s consensual all around? Why would someone find that so objectionable?
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 06:55     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Psychos out there tracking every movement wondering why spouses aren't rushing home to be with them
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 06:51     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If I found out my husband was tracking my whereabouts I think we would probably have to go to therapy. I would happily tell him where I am at and if he really wants to know he can call or text.


You say tracking as if its a bad thing. I guess it depends on your relationship with technology and each other. We'd much rather have each other check the app than bother each other with a phone call or a text that might not be answered for hours. I mean unless you frequently go places you don't want your spouse to know about, but that's another problem altogether.


BIG WIFE IS WATCHING YOU.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 03:59     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would drive by the lot one day around the time he goes to “relax.” The vibe might tell you all you need to know.

You could just street view it. He's not doing anything illicit in a Giant parking lot at 5:30PM.


You'd be surprised
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2023 03:56     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:He’s hooking up with another man


This is what my ex was doing. It took about that amount of time. Had a burner phone. I don't know how else you'd find out stuff like this without tracking. Took me about two years to figure it out even with the tracking. Might have gone on the entire marriage.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 21:48     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
He’s hooking up with another man
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2023 20:32     Subject: Why would he be in a random parking lot?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He was parking there after bad days at work. He didn’t want to tell me because knew it wasn’t fair, but also knew once he got home he’d be bombarded by life (kids mostly, but also me just wanting to catch up after the day.) He’s not upset about the tracking. I’m not upset with him. We’ve devised a plan for the next time either of us needs a break, and a code word for when either of us just needs to be left alone for a bit once he/we get home.

Yes, it’s OP
Is this OP, above, updating us? Or are you another PP or a new poster? Please tell us, if you're OP and have resolved this. Thanks.
Folks, please ID yourself if you're an OP coming back to update, or note that you're not the OP if you're telling your own story but could be mistaken for an OP.