Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.

This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.

The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.

OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.

Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.

You have ZERO business telling OP how she is supposed to be with her inlaws and baby. None.
As for what people need to do in planning for a baby, everyone is different. Everyone has different views. Yours is no more valid than anyone else's. And YOU also don't know how this will play out but, given granny's plans and purchases, it's pretty clear what she expects. And that's fine as long as OP and her DH are on board. But that is not the case at this point.

So, your opinions here are really . . . irrelevant.

Oh wait, you're the sockpuppeting troll. Now it makes sense.

Jeff did say that the OP was sockpuppeting, so...
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/weblog/2023/10/13/update101323

Yep once the PP was outed she stopped the hysterical posting. Probably off trying to think of the next fake MIL drama to post about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.

This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.

The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.

OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.

Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.

You have ZERO business telling OP how she is supposed to be with her inlaws and baby. None.
As for what people need to do in planning for a baby, everyone is different. Everyone has different views. Yours is no more valid than anyone else's. And YOU also don't know how this will play out but, given granny's plans and purchases, it's pretty clear what she expects. And that's fine as long as OP and her DH are on board. But that is not the case at this point.

So, your opinions here are really . . . irrelevant.

Oh wait, you're the sockpuppeting troll. Now it makes sense.

Jeff did say that the OP was sockpuppeting, so...
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/weblog/2023/10/13/update101323

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.

This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.

The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.

OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.

Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.

You have ZERO business telling OP how she is supposed to be with her inlaws and baby. None.
As for what people need to do in planning for a baby, everyone is different. Everyone has different views. Yours is no more valid than anyone else's. And YOU also don't know how this will play out but, given granny's plans and purchases, it's pretty clear what she expects. And that's fine as long as OP and her DH are on board. But that is not the case at this point.

So, your opinions here are really . . . irrelevant.

Oh wait, you're the sockpuppeting troll. Now it makes sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.

This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.

The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.

OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.

Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.

You have ZERO business telling OP how she is supposed to be with her inlaws and baby. None.
As for what people need to do in planning for a baby, everyone is different. Everyone has different views. Yours is no more valid than anyone else's. And YOU also don't know how this will play out but, given granny's plans and purchases, it's pretty clear what she expects. And that's fine as long as OP and her DH are on board. But that is not the case at this point.

So, your opinions here are really . . . irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, my shower isn’t yet so I haven’t been gifted any items. I find it weird that she would buy these items for herself and not buy items for my household first. I guess I’m here to ask if I am in the right to find this weird or it’s no big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.

This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.

The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.

OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.

Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.

You have ZERO business telling OP how she is supposed to be with her inlaws and baby. None.
As for what people need to do in planning for a baby, everyone is different. Everyone has different views. Yours is no more valid than anyone else's. And YOU also don't know how this will play out but, given granny's plans and purchases, it's pretty clear what she expects. And that's fine as long as OP and her DH are on board. But that is not the case at this point.

So, your opinions here are really . . . irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.

This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.

The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.

OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.

Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.

You have ZERO business telling OP how she is supposed to be with her inlaws and baby. None.
As for what people need to do in planning for a baby, everyone is different. Everyone has different views. Yours is no more valid than anyone else's. And YOU also don't know how this will play out but, given granny's plans and purchases, it's pretty clear what she expects. And that's fine as long as OP and her DH are on board. But that is not the case at this point.

So, your opinions here are really . . . irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.

This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.

The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.

OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.

Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.

You have ZERO business telling OP how she is supposed to be with her inlaws and baby. None.
As for what people need to do in planning for a baby, everyone is different. Everyone has different views. Yours is no more valid than anyone else's. And YOU also don't know how this will play out but, given granny's plans and purchases, it's pretty clear what she expects. And that's fine as long as OP and her DH are on board. But that is not the case at this point.

So, your opinions here are really . . . irrelevant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this thread has gone the way OP had intended. Most of the reasonable posters are showing support for instead of bashing the MIL

Um, no. Plenty of people disagree with you. Myself included.

So, the people disagreeing think that MIL isn't allowed to purchase things for her own home? Who would agree with that nonsense? A few crazies do not make a majority.

There’s a difference between being “allowed” and it being a red flag. Of course she’s allowed. That doesn’t mean it’s not a warning sign of some hefty expectations depending—again— on the scale of what she’s doing.

Someone with an entire nursery in their home set up for my unborn child would set off every parenting instinct to keep the kid away from them. Someone on hand with a thing of wipes in the brand I use when my kid needs an urgent change is my favorite person on earth in that moment.

Give me a break. For all we know this is the first of many grandchildren to come with OPs DHs other siblings. MIL isn't going to steal the baby in plain sight.

No one said “steal the baby” except for you.

The risk here is the suggestion that MIL is building a fantasy of what the grandchild will be doing, and then OP is going to have to deal with her disappointment while she’s postpartum with a newborn and MIL is sulking that her brand new bassinet is empty.

Again unless we know the scale of what MIL is doing I don’t think we can say for sure, but if she’s completely duplicating the registry? OPs husband should have a word.

This X1000. If she is building a nursery that’s a very bad sign. Below are some of the things that the just excited boomer women have pulled in our extended family.

1. Wants to be in the delivery room or at least waiting at the hospital and able to see the baby within hours of it being born.wants to keep visiting at the hospital.
2. Wants to feed the baby formula while OP is trying to breast feed.
3. Ignores DIL when DIL isn’t comfortable breast feeding around her.
4. Wants to take the newborn back to her house so DIL /son can rest but they don’t want the baby to leave the house.
5. Wants to show the newborn off to her friends. Has zero concern for newborn catching something.
6. Doesn’t follow safe sleep medical rules.
7. Tries to extend every visit because everything is at her house.
8, Gets upset when son and DIL hire a nanny or babysitter.
9. Makes passive aggressive comments about how she knows better and her son survived.
10. Wants to go to pediatrician visits, expects to be in the loop on everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s instincts aren’t wrong.

This behavior is ONLY helpful if OP and her husband have already decided that they plan frequent and lengthy visits with MIL, use MIL for babysitting and child care, and plan to leave the baby there. It sounds like OP and her husband haven’t made those decisions yet but MIL is presuming she’s going to be hosting the baby frequently. It’s the presumptuous behavior and if MIL has already shown herself to be overstepping, whiny, demanding or whatever would be a very bad sign.

The things that would be helpful for short, non weekly visits would be a pack and play, high chair and child proofing the house. MIL doesn’t need a crib, changing station, car seat, second set of clothes, diapers, bottles, bouncy seat, swing, stroller etc.

OP and her husband should have a conversation with MIL to figure out what her intentions/expectations are with outfitting a nursery at her house. OP and her husband then need to start thinking what will work best for them and their baby.

Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Helpful hint: you don't need to plan out an unborn baby's life before it is even born. Part of being a good parent is being flexible. OP has no idea how this is all going to play out.

I agree. If she would at least talk to son and dil about what she’s doing that would be helpful.