Anonymous wrote:The biological point of having children is reproduction of your genes. You can come up with some modern take about fulfillment and such, but life got to this point with selfish genes. The desire for grandchildren is natural and built in as a baseline human drive selected by billions of years of evolution. Any parent who claims they would not be disappointed that their genes die out two generations down the line is kidding themselves.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I also hope my kids don't have kids. It's a losing proposition. I feel bad for bringing them into this mess. And for cursing them with my genes.
And the world has enough people.
That is not a healthy viewpoint.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
I think exactly like you, OP, except that I love parenting and do not regret prioritizing my children.
However, I agree with your greater point. What's the point if my line ends?
I don't know how old you are, but my uncle became a grandfather at 80+ years old. He had his daughter later in life, and she had a daughter at 36. It was probably the happiest day of his life.
+1
The desire to see your line continue is biological and innate. No one should be shaming OP for saying what most people feel deep inside.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.
Half the world is on fire, the other half is flooded. Deciding not to bring a child into this world is a kindness.
What is this nonsense? Lol
Anonymous wrote:Leave the people who don't wish to have children ALONE. Thanks!
Anonymous wrote:no it's notAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.
Half the world is on fire, the other half is flooded. Deciding not to bring a child into this world is a kindness.
Anonymous wrote:Kids and grandkids continue to go to moms and dads house on holidays.
My 83 year old MIL is in perfect health and has owner her house since 1963.
This will be her 60th year celebrating Xmas eve at her house. All her kids, sine in laws, daughter in laws. grandkids, great grand kids go. My wife celebrated Xmas Eve in same house she grew up in.
I guess she could be a widow with her three barren spinster kids coming over and they could talk about death and there graves covered in weeds and possessions thrown to curb as they one by one die with their dad little empty funerals
Anonymous wrote:OP you had kids for you. You find meaning in life and control your life.
If your kids don’t want kids that’s none of your business.
That said, I agree with the PP that said if I don’t have grandkids I will spend every penny I earn. My childless kids (if that is their choice) can earn their own way through life. Why should I give them that bit extra help if there is no continuity in the generations, especially since they would be making an adult decision not to have kids. Now if they do manage to reproduce, they will inherit handsomely. And. . . no, I will not tell them this; my money; my business. Now if I look at it as family money then it’s family business, but that requires grandchildren for me.
Anonymous wrote:OP my good friend who is now 60 he wanted to FIRE and retire early and be child free he shared this with wife. She was on the fence either way.
His mom had three kids. Sister no kids, one brother one kid. My friend was rich one.
Her MIL told her my son is like an unfixed dog just skip your birth control pills and have a kid what is he going to do.
They retired early to Florida and he had his big boat, beautiful house on canal, his wife kept working as a nurse. One day when he is 50 he says out of blue be great to have a son or daughter to take out on boat, go to beach as lonely.
She then go mad as he was one who never wanted kid. She tells story what her MIL says and he goes why did you not listen to her. What did I know as a 32 year old?
His sister in law with only child (fertility issues) also pissed as her kid could have had a cousin.
Very rarely do both people not want kids. In his case they both wanted them after it was too late.
Anonymous wrote:my kids are younger than you, they have plenty of timeAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:not OP, but yes I did experience all that and I love my kids. However, they aren't some special snowflakes that enlighten my world just with their presence. Well, actually they are, but my parenting of them is done. Time for them to carry the torch. And how I spend my money will depend on the presence of grandchildren.Anonymous wrote:JFC. Did you not enjoy a single second of parenting? Do you not look at your adult children with pride and happiness for the people they have become? Do you never look at them and revel in the magic of a world where this person didn’t exist, and then one day did, and you were lucky enough to get to be their parent?
The reward for parenting is getting to know your child and serve as their guide into the world. It’s an honor. Parenting is a gift in and of itself.
Grandchildren are not prizes.
Also, don't curse
With you as a mother, I'm not at all surprised they chose not to have children.
Anonymous wrote:I only want my children to make the world a better place, in some way or another.
Anonymous wrote:Come on y'all ignore trolliana.
Anonymous wrote:The show “who do you think you are” is all about family trees and sacrifices ancestors made to get me where I am.
My family survived Black Plague, 1847 Potato Famine, survived WWI and WWII, Great Depression got on a ship to America and worked like a dog in menial jobs to get American dream and ensure college educations for their kids.
For my kids to not have kids and kill off future generations is it a slap in the face to me and all my relatives in history.
Why did my kids grandmother and father even get on that boat to America to only have their grandchildren decide to not have great grandchildren? The boat might as well sunk.