I appreciate the Le Creuset that my grandparents gave me for my wedding and remember them fondly when I use it. I also love the special off-registry (gasp) wine glasses my aunt gave me.

Anonymous wrote:OP I know you wanted something for her shower but since you mentioned the sunflower garden, maybe you could do something like this with those flowers or just the same flowers that she might cherish. You are very thoughtful and I wish you were my mother in law. https://www.timelessfloralsstl.com/shop

OP here. I love these, especially since we share such a strong love of gardening and flowers. I’ve never seen anything like them. Thank you so much

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A plaque? I’m dying! 😂

I’m kind of curious what plaque would be appropriate here, too! Like what does a plaque even say?

DIL of the Year, 2023.

Anonymous wrote:^ I think it is pretty, symbolic of family and love ❤️ and a classic. Most young brides do not buy this brand.

Yes, we do, and no, we don’t want anything with hearts on it. Gag.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about an electronic picture frame? You can preload childhood pictures of your son, and current pictures of the couple maybe even conspire with her mother to get pictures from her childhood. (just them, though - there may be times they won’t want to look over and see you or other extended family members looking back. If they want you in the rotation, they can add you in). Then, over time, they can add pictures of the life they build together.

OMG. Could some young people please chime in??? No one besides my 80 year old mother wants this gift.

What is your suggestion?

Probably doesn’t have one.

Ok, young people, what would this bride like? Op said she likes to garden. Something to plant in honor of their wedding day?

My brilliant idea is to stop acting total strangers who are clearly much older online, and to simply ASK HER what she would want. Then LISTEN TO AND RESPECT what she says.

She may say a set of top-tier culinary knives. She may say a sculpture. She may say nothing, truly. She may say a trip to a luxury spa. She may say money to help pay off grad school loans. She may say an expensive camera. Whatever she says, you listen to her. Even if it is nothing.

Your suggests are worse. Can you imagine asking someone what they would like as a gift and they said, how about a sculpture? Or ask for a set of top-tier culinary knives as a personal gift? Oh, that was your gift for the bridal shower? Sorry.

And would anyone here really ask her soon to be MIL for money when MIL asked for suggestions on a personal gift?

If you know you know that truly excellent knives do not often make it onto registries, because they are so expensive and no, they cannot be purchased at Macy’s or Williams-Sonoma.

And how odd for you to roll with other people suggesting getting her a painting she may not want, but somehow a specific sculpture she actually asks for is a bad idea? OK.

The point is to actually ask the person you are allegedly trying to please.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave me a book of all their family recipes in it. I don't even cook but I cherish it!

How nice for you. I re-gifted to my DH the one his mother gave me. Their HIS family recipes, not mine. I've got my own family recipes and I'm not interested in theirs with a few exceptions. If the recipes are important then DH can learn to make them.

OP again…she has asked me to write some recipes and I bought her a box to keep the cards in and cards that she picked out . Also, my son is an excellent cook and has his own set of cookbooks , but my future DIL has requested that I write out some recipes for some family meals that my son likes. Her mother and I (we are good friends) have two different cards so she will know whose family they are from .

NP. That’s very nice. Family recipes shared upon request are great. The assumption to give family recipes to the woman marrying in instead of the man from the family is what some people do not like. And then I’ve also seen people ask for family recipes only to be told no by their MILs. Some people want recipes, some don’t; some share, some won’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave me a book of all their family recipes in it. I don't even cook but I cherish it!

How nice for you. I re-gifted to my DH the one his mother gave me. Their HIS family recipes, not mine. I've got my own family recipes and I'm not interested in theirs with a few exceptions. If the recipes are important then DH can learn to make them.

I don’t think you understand the gift. There’s no requirement that you use the recipes. It’s symbolic of the notion that there’s no longer His and Hers family recipes. The bride and groom are forming a union that creates a new family. Now his grandma’s recipes are part of your family recipes and your mom’s recipes are part of his family recipes. A MIL giving this to her DIL is a way of saying we’re family now. You’re not just my son’s wife, you’re my DIL.

I would only give this gift to someone who already cooks/bakes.

Agree. There are some weird and nasty gals on here. I feel bad for their mothers in law and I m almost never team MIL!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about an electronic picture frame? You can preload childhood pictures of your son, and current pictures of the couple maybe even conspire with her mother to get pictures from her childhood. (just them, though - there may be times they won’t want to look over and see you or other extended family members looking back. If they want you in the rotation, they can add you in). Then, over time, they can add pictures of the life they build together.

OMG. Could some young people please chime in??? No one besides my 80 year old mother wants this gift.

What is your suggestion?

Probably doesn’t have one.

Ok, young people, what would this bride like? Op said she likes to garden. Something to plant in honor of their wedding day?

My brilliant idea is to stop acting total strangers who are clearly much older online, and to simply ASK HER what she would want. Then LISTEN TO AND RESPECT what she says.

She may say a set of top-tier culinary knives. She may say a sculpture. She may say nothing, truly. She may say a trip to a luxury spa. She may say money to help pay off grad school loans. She may say an expensive camera. Whatever she says, you listen to her. Even if it is nothing.

Your suggests are worse. Can you imagine asking someone what they would like as a gift and they said, how about a sculpture? Or ask for a set of top-tier culinary knives as a personal gift? Oh, that was your gift for the bridal shower? Sorry.

And would anyone here really ask her soon to be MIL for money when MIL asked for suggestions on a personal gift?

Anonymous wrote:

I mean any quilt. They look old fashioned. I do not live in a country home in Kentucky that was built in 1842. I don't believe in "country chic".

A little off topic but you really should check out some quilting competitions. Although they typically have a 'traditional' category. There are some real artists in the quilting world. They aren't making your granny's cabin quilt! Some of these would be heirlooms that I'd absolutely get behind!

https://blog.sulky.com/2018-houston-quilt-festival-winners/

https://quiltcon.com/quiltcon-2017-winners/

https://www.quilts.com/quilt-festival/judged-show-winners/

Those are beautiful and not my grandmother's quilt! I do have one that was made as a wedding gift from some business colleagues (they commissioned one for my DH and I) that for years sat in archival tissue in a box from Parkway Cleaners. I had no idea what to do with it and did not want it on any bed because it would get destroyed. It is gorgeous so I eventually had it framed and it is now hanging in a huge double foyer as the artwork. Our home is contemporary and I am surprised at how well it fits with the decor and the minimalism. Grateful I kept it (and the memories) and finally found a place for it.

Anonymous wrote:A painting?

Tread very carefully. Art is so personal. I’d really, really advise against this unless she has very well-defined taste.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave me a book of all their family recipes in it. I don't even cook but I cherish it!

How nice for you. I re-gifted to my DH the one his mother gave me. Their HIS family recipes, not mine. I've got my own family recipes and I'm not interested in theirs with a few exceptions. If the recipes are important then DH can learn to make them.

I don’t think you understand the gift. There’s no requirement that you use the recipes. It’s symbolic of the notion that there’s no longer His and Hers family recipes. The bride and groom are forming a union that creates a new family. Now his grandma’s recipes are part of your family recipes and your mom’s recipes are part of his family recipes. A MIL giving this to her DIL is a way of saying we’re family now. You’re not just my son’s wife, you’re my DIL.

I would only give this gift to someone who already cooks/bakes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave me a book of all their family recipes in it. I don't even cook but I cherish it!

How nice for you. I re-gifted to my DH the one his mother gave me. Their HIS family recipes, not mine. I've got my own family recipes and I'm not interested in theirs with a few exceptions. If the recipes are important then DH can learn to make them.

OP again…she has asked me to write some recipes and I bought her a box to keep the cards in and cards that she picked out . Also, my son is an excellent cook and has his own set of cookbooks , but my future DIL has requested that I write out some recipes for some family meals that my son likes. Her mother and I (we are good friends) have two different cards so she will know whose family they are from .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave me a book of all their family recipes in it. I don't even cook but I cherish it!

How nice for you. I re-gifted to my DH the one his mother gave me. They’re HIS family recipes, not mine. I've got my own family recipes and I'm not interested in theirs with a few exceptions. If the recipes are important then DH can learn to make them.

Wow. I also received this at my shower from my MIL. She hand wrote each one from her own collection and included a special memory from the recipe. It was so touching and I love it. To each their own!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL gave me a book of all their family recipes in it. I don't even cook but I cherish it!

How nice for you. I re-gifted to my DH the one his mother gave me. Their HIS family recipes, not mine. I've got my own family recipes and I'm not interested in theirs with a few exceptions. If the recipes are important then DH can learn to make them.

Damn, lady.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

A pretty Le Creuset with family recipe cards inside

Why would SHE carry on YOUR family recipes? If you want to give a gift like this, give it to the bride or groom hailing from your actual family. Or at the very least, that is a couple’s gift.

FIL had the audacity to ask me how many times I’ve made his family’s cabbage roll recipe. I said zero because I don’t like cabbage. He huffed, “Well Tim loves it!” I said if Tim loves it so much, you can ask him how many times he’s made it. Turns out the answer was also zero.

YOU GO GIRL! It's new millenium!