Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 22:30     Subject: Re:Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:I look more highly upon married people than unmarried ones. Bonus points for length of marriage. It just signals maturity.


I am a young childless woman BTW.


You clearly know nothing about marriage. My parents have been miserable for 50 years and I can barely stand to be around them, but hey, they’re married. In my opinion they both wasted their lives.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 22:29     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Unpopular opinion: Crowd-sourcing serious relationship issues on internet forums is a nice way for mentally ill people in dysfunctional relationships to obtain confirmation bias from other mentally ill people.


Wins the thread!!


Can be but honestly the advice here was better than with the therapist or priest I met with.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 22:08     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:Married 29 years and we still hug, kiss, and cuddle daily. We are lovers and best friends however we don't have too much sex anymore, we desire each other but we are aging and have physical limitations now. We had enough sex in our hay day to last us. We are both fulfilled and happy.

My guess is there are very few, if anymore couples who have been together that long on this message board but I can tell you love and commitment change over the years, love and commitment gets deeper.

So when you hear people are still having sex 7 days a week don't judge anyone unless you have been married 29 years and are really learning what "growing old together" means.


Married 26 years, no physical limitations, still have sex about 6 times a month
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 21:45     Subject: Re:Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:I look more highly upon married people than unmarried ones. Bonus points for length of marriage. It just signals maturity.


I am a young childless woman BTW.


I don't. Lots of people shouldn't be married but are just too weak to be alone.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 20:04     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
You never forget anyone you truly loved, even if you are sensationally happy now. The others? Meh.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 19:12     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:ENM/poly people are into the whole thing to cover up insecurities, low self-esteem, trauma, etc


I’ve never met a person in a poly relationship where I didn’t wonder “how did this person get even one person to sleep with them, let alone two”


We look like everyone else, and we are everywhere. We are your friends, coworkers, relatives, neighbors. We just don’t talk about it with you because you are not a safe person to confide in.


Sure, in a “that person probably wears a tail to GenCon” kinda way.

Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 18:59     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:ENM/poly people are into the whole thing to cover up insecurities, low self-esteem, trauma, etc


I’ve never met a person in a poly relationship where I didn’t wonder “how did this person get even one person to sleep with them, let alone two”


We look like everyone else, and we are everywhere. We are your friends, coworkers, relatives, neighbors. We just don’t talk about it with you because you are not a safe person to confide in.


Sure, in a “that person probably wears a tail to GenCon” kinda way.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 18:45     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:ENM/poly people are into the whole thing to cover up insecurities, low self-esteem, trauma, etc


I’ve never met a person in a poly relationship where I didn’t wonder “how did this person get even one person to sleep with them, let alone two”


We look like everyone else, and we are everywhere. We are your friends, coworkers, relatives, neighbors. We just don’t talk about it with you because you are not a safe person to confide in.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 18:01     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:ENM/poly people are into the whole thing to cover up insecurities, low self-esteem, trauma, etc


Nope. It takes a lot of maturity and self understanding to navigate non-monogamy responsibly.



IME, the majority of people I’ve known who crow that they are doing non-monogamy “responsibly” are actually very clearly doing that within a relationship where it’s pretty obvious the person with whom they’re “negotiating non-monogamy” with isn‘t happy but just doesn’t have enough power to say no or to be able negotiate for their needs.

Color me not impressed with that kind of “consent”.


+1

And the louder they crow, and proselytize for the wonders of non-monogamy, the more often they seem to end up divorced in the end.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 17:41     Subject: Re:Unpopular relationship opinions
A woman needs many things from a man and a man needs one thing from many women.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 17:13     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Anonymous wrote:A good number of men stay in unhappy marriages because dating generally sucks.


Men is this true?
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 16:56     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
Majority of responses on relationship forums come from people who are lost themselves, either are into unhealthy relationships or have none at all.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 16:52     Subject: Re:Unpopular relationship opinions
Yea I can't change my spouse but if I am clear about a boundary and what I will and will not tolerate, the reality is it usually results in a change in behavior. Sometimes it takes a few years but it happens. So I can't change them but I can definitely effect the likelihood of change.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 16:27     Subject: Re:Unpopular relationship opinions
I look more highly upon married people than unmarried ones. Bonus points for length of marriage. It just signals maturity.


I am a young childless woman BTW.
Anonymous
Post 02/19/2023 16:26     Subject: Unpopular relationship opinions
A good number of men stay in unhappy marriages because dating generally sucks.