Anonymous
01/29/2023 20:03
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
Choose to have kids or don’t (EVERYONE should have that choice), but the bolded is bullcrap. Your ancestors faced war, famine, discrimination, poverty, tiny living spaces, no air conditioning, pandemics, pollution, lack of proper sanitation, fires AND raised boatloads of kids, doing so with little formal education at a young age. We are far more prosperous today, and the most fortunate among us are choosing to have small families than ever before, in much larger homes than 100 years ago. Which is fine!
DP. I think you are misinterpreting your positive factors. Because life is so easy, we are unable to cope with the lack of real adversity. I do think it's a very difficult time to have a family now. But you won't admit that.
Genuinely asking, why?
Hmmm, social media, two parents working full time, lack of community/social network and support, transient neighborhoods, lack of extended family, lack of money, lack of life experience, culture where everyone’s a winner, fear of failure, etc.
Anonymous
01/29/2023 20:03
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
These societal takes are all interesting and true in some ways, but the majority of people don’t actually kill their kids. PPP is not due to social media. Just like most disaffected men don’t become mass shooters. It remains rare.
There is no simple way to fix this. And it’s not an individual problem.
There is no simple way to fix this. And it’s not an individual problem.
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:58
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
I also think young adults today are lacking in friendship making skills. My sister and her husband complain of loneliness/no friends, but they drive their kids to school even though they have a bus, they don’t go on walks and take their kids and dog strictly into their backyard, they don’t have any hobbies or ever leave their house unless they have to. Then they say people aren’t friendly. But they want NO advice on changing this and get really defensive.
Also, when I think of how maxed out we were with two young kids, I literally could not imagine having a third in quick succession. I truly cannot believe how many parents do this without a gap/break.
Yes, people have become social dunces. Probably because they portray a certain image on social media, they simply cannot maintain it irl. I would love to make friends with my neighbors but they are socially stunted. I am gen X, i want to talk and make friends with these millennials who just aren’t able to hold an interesting conversation. I want to get to know them but I can’t, there’s a wall up.
Maybe they just don’t like you?
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:57
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
I also think young adults today are lacking in friendship making skills. My sister and her husband complain of loneliness/no friends, but they drive their kids to school even though they have a bus, they don’t go on walks and take their kids and dog strictly into their backyard, they don’t have any hobbies or ever leave their house unless they have to. Then they say people aren’t friendly. But they want NO advice on changing this and get really defensive.
Also, when I think of how maxed out we were with two young kids, I literally could not imagine having a third in quick succession. I truly cannot believe how many parents do this without a gap/break.
Yes, people have become social dunces. Probably because they portray a certain image on social media, they simply cannot maintain it irl. I would love to make friends with my neighbors but they are socially stunted. I am gen X, i want to talk and make friends with these millennials who just aren’t able to hold an interesting conversation. I want to get to know them but I can’t, there’s a wall up.
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:57
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
Choose to have kids or don’t (EVERYONE should have that choice), but the bolded is bullcrap. Your ancestors faced war, famine, discrimination, poverty, tiny living spaces, no air conditioning, pandemics, pollution, lack of proper sanitation, fires AND raised boatloads of kids, doing so with little formal education at a young age. We are far more prosperous today, and the most fortunate among us are choosing to have small families than ever before, in much larger homes than 100 years ago. Which is fine!
DP. I think you are misinterpreting your positive factors. Because life is so easy, we are unable to cope with the lack of real adversity. I do think it's a very difficult time to have a family now. But you won't admit that.
Genuinely asking, why?
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:54
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
Choose to have kids or don’t (EVERYONE should have that choice), but the bolded is bullcrap. Your ancestors faced war, famine, discrimination, poverty, tiny living spaces, no air conditioning, pandemics, pollution, lack of proper sanitation, fires AND raised boatloads of kids, doing so with little formal education at a young age. We are far more prosperous today, and the most fortunate among us are choosing to have small families than ever before, in much larger homes than 100 years ago. Which is fine!
I agree with you, it’s just that past generations seemed to be ‘hardier’ than today’s wimps.
I can assure you that past generations suffered from PPD and psychosis. They would likely have been institutionalized, however.
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:53
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
Choose to have kids or don’t (EVERYONE should have that choice), but the bolded is bullcrap. Your ancestors faced war, famine, discrimination, poverty, tiny living spaces, no air conditioning, pandemics, pollution, lack of proper sanitation, fires AND raised boatloads of kids, doing so with little formal education at a young age. We are far more prosperous today, and the most fortunate among us are choosing to have small families than ever before, in much larger homes than 100 years ago. Which is fine!
DP. I think you are misinterpreting your positive factors. Because life is so easy, we are unable to cope with the lack of real adversity. I do think it's a very difficult time to have a family now. But you won't admit that.
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:52
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
Choose to have kids or don’t (EVERYONE should have that choice), but the bolded is bullcrap. Your ancestors faced war, famine, discrimination, poverty, tiny living spaces, no air conditioning, pandemics, pollution, lack of proper sanitation, fires AND raised boatloads of kids, doing so with little formal education at a young age. We are far more prosperous today, and the most fortunate among us are choosing to have small families than ever before, in much larger homes than 100 years ago. Which is fine!
I agree with you, it’s just that past generations seemed to be ‘hardier’ than today’s wimps.
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:51
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
I also think young adults today are lacking in friendship making skills. My sister and her husband complain of loneliness/no friends, but they drive their kids to school even though they have a bus, they don’t go on walks and take their kids and dog strictly into their backyard, they don’t have any hobbies or ever leave their house unless they have to. Then they say people aren’t friendly. But they want NO advice on changing this and get really defensive.
Also, when I think of how maxed out we were with two young kids, I literally could not imagine having a third in quick succession. I truly cannot believe how many parents do this without a gap/break.
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:51
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
There are a gazillion studies on this
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-family.html
The average adult in my home state lives only 8 miles away from their parents
Ok, then move closer to family then. Or decide not to procreate, think it over before making the decision. If you think you need you family to help, if they are even willing to help, arrange to live near them. If you can’t arrange this, and you think you can’t fly solo, then sorry but you shouldn’t have a baby.
What are you even blabbering on about? Who are you intending to respond to?
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:49
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
Choose to have kids or don’t (EVERYONE should have that choice), but the bolded is bullcrap. Your ancestors faced war, famine, discrimination, poverty, tiny living spaces, no air conditioning, pandemics, pollution, lack of proper sanitation, fires AND raised boatloads of kids, doing so with little formal education at a young age. We are far more prosperous today, and the most fortunate among us are choosing to have small families than ever before, in much larger homes than 100 years ago. Which is fine!
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:47
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
There are a gazillion studies on this
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-family.html
The average adult in my home state lives only 8 miles away from their parents
Ok, then move closer to family then. Or decide not to procreate, think it over before making the decision. If you think you need you family to help, if they are even willing to help, arrange to live near them. If you can’t arrange this, and you think you can’t fly solo, then sorry but you shouldn’t have a baby.
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:41
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
It’s an incredibly tough time to raise a family. There are so many factors to now consider that past generations never had to face. No one is really prepared to become a parent but like all jobs, certain qualities should be required. Not everyone is meant to be, nor should become, a parent, and we need to be able to recognize and accept this.
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:39
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.
There are a gazillion studies on this
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-family.html
The average adult in my home state lives only 8 miles away from their parents
Anonymous
01/29/2023 19:31
Subject: Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.
3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.
In DC where everyone has purposely moved here, away from their families of origin, what you’re saying is correct.
Most people in the US live where they grew up and have family around.
How do you know this? I don’t think it’s true.