Anonymous
12/10/2022 23:40
Subject: Couples therapy and mandatory reporting
For those of you who think that involving CPS is no big deal if the parents aren't actually abusive, here's another in a long line of stories of abuse by CPS: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2022/12/07/josh-sabey-sarah-perkins-abuse-investigation/
Anonymous
12/05/2022 07:17
Subject: Couples therapy and mandatory reporting
Anonymous wrote:First, many argue that the standards are already too expansive for mandatory reporters, since the tidal wave of reporting of non-abusive parents to CPS (especially in poor and minority communities) already has a big impact on CPS ability to focus on actually severe abuse.
But second, the reporting standard is *lasting marks that the reporter sees*. It is not marks that the other parent sees immediately after an incident and then fade 60 seconds later. For all we know that is what happened here. Any pressure on the skin leaves marks for a few minutes
Where did you get that information that the marks lasted 60 seconds? They lasted long enough for the OP to take pictures.
Anonymous
12/03/2022 09:44
Subject: Couples therapy and mandatory reporting
First, many argue that the standards are already too expansive for mandatory reporters, since the tidal wave of reporting of non-abusive parents to CPS (especially in poor and minority communities) already has a big impact on CPS ability to focus on actually severe abuse.
But second, the reporting standard is *lasting marks that the reporter sees*. It is not marks that the other parent sees immediately after an incident and then fade 60 seconds later. For all we know that is what happened here. Any pressure on the skin leaves marks for a few minutes
But second, the reporting standard is *lasting marks that the reporter sees*. It is not marks that the other parent sees immediately after an incident and then fade 60 seconds later. For all we know that is what happened here. Any pressure on the skin leaves marks for a few minutes
Anonymous
12/03/2022 06:46
Subject: Re:Couples therapy and mandatory reporting
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a therapist. This would have to be reported.
And I agree with the PP, this should not be your biggest concern.
What? Because he grabbed the kid? God help our culture if we think it's better to lock up a parent or divorce him because he grabbed his kid too hard in a moment of frustration. Where is the compassion? Where is the proportionality? It really doesn't sound like he was trying to hurt the kid. Maybe he didn't realize how much force he was applying. Maybe he didn't realize the point at which he woudl leave a mark. And what's "a mark," anyway - a bruise? The slight discoloration in skin that comes from pressure or heat and then dissipates after a few seconds? As long as he now acknowledges that he squeezed too tight, I think everyone needs to get over it.
+10000
I am a different poster and agree with this. It’s legal to spank your kids. He needs better emotional regulation but this isn’t CPS-worthy IMO. And I am a mandated reporter and have reported to CPS before.
Then you do not know what you are doing. I am also a mandated reporter and leaving marks always requires a report. PP, maybe you should think about changing professions.
As someone said above, there are marks and there are marks. Grabbing a child even non-abusively will leave brief red marks. If we are talking about bruises visible hours later that is a different story. But considering none of us here has even seen the photos I think you’re the one jumping to conclusions.
It
Does
Not
Matter
Marks
Equals
Report
But it does matter!
There are such serious consequences of reporting suspected child abuse to CPS that it's important to look at the big picture, not react based on a simple "marks=report". Was it a one-time occurrence? What happened exactly? Is it part of an ongoing pattern? Was it an accident?
However, I have to say that in more than 20 years of parenting, neither DH or I has ever left a mark on a child when disciplining or restraining them! I can't imagine any circumstance where that would happen, even though I've certainly grabbed a runaway toddler before they fell or ran into the street or to prevent them from breaking something. You'd have to grab a child pretty hard to leave marks or bruises!
This is a sentiment that seems to have been posted by a conscientious parent rather than an adult defensive of the way they treat/treated children.
But I assume you aren’t a mandated reporter? Because marks=report is actually the standard— it’s not up to the teacher/doctor to assess ongoing patterns, that is what CPS will determine if they open an investigation.