Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying young is like a tattoo, bad judgment. Neither position people for a good future.

This. The only people I know who marry early who have money have daughters who struggle academically and the parents don't think they will ever manage a job. No one in my umc neighborhood wants their kids to marry until at least their later 20s.

+1 Marrying young usually means: 1) family is very religious and wants daughter locked down early, 2) daughter has plateaued with respect to career/academic ambitions, and better to have her locked down early, or 3) daughter is pregnant (because she was not locked down early.)

Not necessarily. My boss's daughter is 25, starting med school, BF is 24 with an MBA and a consulting job. They have to move to California for her school, they figured if he is uprooting his life to move with her, it should be a stronger bond.

It's probably instagram influencers wanting to move into the lucrative planning a wedding/building a "dreamhome"/having a baby space. Need to be married for that.

In some ways it is a status symbol, but only if the wife drops out of the work force soon after marrying (either due to getting pregnant or wanting to "volunteer").

It's usually a pair of young adults from wealthy families: the wife will marry by her late 20s and then leave the work force or quickly get pregnant. There's always some family money involved. Always.

Anonymous wrote:If you are college educated, by the end of college or grad school you have seen the whole field of potential partners. There is nothing of value that can be gained from waiting longer, the pool just gets smaller and smaller. Smart and observant people pair off early.

Maybe for men, but for women, early marriage usually means less time to figure out who you are as a person. It's good to be single and just casually dating or not dating at all so you can spend some time just being free to do what you want.

This is a stereotype but men generally do just fine being who they want to be and doing what they want to do after they are married and before kids, and generally speaking they are better about being their own person and maintaining their own identity after they have kids too.

If you are college educated, by the end of college or grad school you have seen the whole field of potential partners. There is nothing of value that can be gained from waiting longer, the pool just gets smaller and smaller. Smart and observant people pair off early.

Anonymous wrote:I notice a trend that people are increasingly getting married younger in UC/UMC circles. 25-27 year old brides vs 31-36 year old ones from a few years ago.

It seems young rich people now are more willing to marry and have children earlier.

It was in the 17th-18th C when you had to have enough money to support yourself and the kids that would come pouring out of the wife once you started having sex. Men didn't get married until later because they had to make their fortune first.

Today ... I wouldn't call it a status symbol, though.

Yes, I got married young and had kids at an early age because it was cool and I wanted to socially flex. That’s exactly why I committed my entire life to someone at a young age followed shortly thereafter by bringing many humans into the world.

I’m a pretty cool person and everyone looks at the early year struggles and wants to be like me.

Fool.

We certainly weren't wealthy when we got married 15 years ago. I was 24, he was 27, two broke grad students. It was not a status symbol, we just wanted to get married We had kids before I turned 30, didn't stop any of our careers and I am glad we didn't have to go through infertility treatments or being "older parents". Lots of our friends are struggling now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Idk why people equate marriage to parenting. You can marry one you love and enjoy life and career. There is no reason to have children right away, use family planning.

50% of pregnancies are unplanned.

It’s actually 60% to this born to women under the age of 30 which is the majority of all pregnant since most women of all races have their children in their 20s.

Furthermore, it’s also a reflection of Americans ooor education Regarding sex and birth control methods.

I know plenty of people who has unexpected preganancies married and in their 30s. Birth control is not 100% and even the pill is only 91% effective with general use. IUDs can slip, condoms can break, etc. etc. whether you wanna believe it or not there is also cases of marital rape and reproductive coercion.

The prime age for rich people I know to get married is 26-32. Not super young.

That is not going wtf

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they've realized that their parents, who waited to get married, are already old, and they want their kids to know their grandparents.

This was true for my husband. His parents were old (for the 70's) and my husband didn't want to replicate. We started our family at 30, but his siblings waited until their mid 30s. By that time one grandparent was dead and the other had dementia. No one can plan these things.

You either get lucky or you don't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The obsession so many women have with marry is pathetic

There are young men in their 20’s who want to marry too. It’s not just the women.

Said by no 20 something male ever.

You live in a very specific bubble. Where I grew up the men certainly did want to marry and have at least 1 kid before 30.

If you were a guy who had a series of sexual partners starting in high school, you have sowed plenty of wild oats by the time you graduate college, and should be ready to settle down. (Someone who did and is now enjoying four grown kids and three grandchildren in my late 50’s.)

Maybe marrying and parenting very young has risks, but the rewards for those who pull it off are tremendous. Parenting is a full-contact sport, and the perfect time to do it is when you are at your physical peak (20’s for most people).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying young is like a tattoo, bad judgment. Neither position people for a good future.

This. The only people I know who marry early who have money have daughters who struggle academically and the parents don't think they will ever manage a job. No one in my umc neighborhood wants their kids to marry until at least their later 20s.

+1 Marrying young usually means: 1) family is very religious and wants daughter locked down early, 2) daughter has plateaued with respect to career/academic ambitions, and better to have her locked down early, or 3) daughter is pregnant (because she was not locked down early.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're headed to med school at ~22, especially as a woman (because of fertility), you may not have much time to date again for a long time.

Majority of med students marry during med school or during residency.

I recently attended a match day ceremony where students would go on stage and announce where they were headed for residency. Over half of the students had spouses (and a handful even with children!) come on stage with them...

The average med school first-year student is 24, so 24 + 4=28. Not abnormal to be married at 28, especially if you don't have kids immediately.

....right. I was confirming what pp said, that it's very common to get married during med school or residency.