Anonymous
02/26/2015 09:13
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.
To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.
FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.
FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.
So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.
As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.
I'm the PP of this post and I agree. I would never try to say being a working parent is equivalent to a full time job plus SAH. Obviously while working my kids are in childcare and from what I can see my DH helps out around the house a lot more than the husbands of my SAH friends. But I still do a lot of stuff that SAHMs do like take kids to doctor's appointments, grocery shop, make dinner, clean the house, etc. I just have to be more efficient with my time. So I somewhat roll my eyes when my SAHM friend who has family in the area, a housekeeper, and part time nanny ever talks about being stressed. I guess people's levels of stress tolerance differ.
Anonymous
02/26/2015 09:11
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Women profit from being perpetual victims
Anonymous
02/26/2015 09:08
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
It hasn't necessarily been this thread, but I've read plenty of posts from SAHMs who talk about what a "sacrifice" it is to SAH or have made nasty comments about outsourcing childcare, how horrible infant childcare is, etc.
I agree the SAHM bashing has gotten out of control in this thread though.
I agree the SAHM bashing has gotten out of control in this thread though.
Anonymous
02/26/2015 09:07
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.
To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.
FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.
FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.
So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.
As soon as WOHMs rock their decision and acknowledge that they really are NOT with their kids most of the day. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that - doesn't mean you're not bonded or have a great relationship. But don't act like being away all day long is EXACTLY the same as being home all day.
Anonymous
02/26/2015 09:03
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.
To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.
FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.
FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.
So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.
Wow - what thread did you read? Please point out the martyr SAHM posts.
I don't think SAHMs are trying to play martyr at all. They're just hoping that they can get through the day without being called nasty names and hearing other venom spewed by jealous WOHMs who make grand generalizations just to make themselves feel better about their own decisions.
Anonymous
02/26/2015 08:54
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
The way I see it, there are two types of SAHMs. Those that have to because their salary will not cover childcare and those who are lucky enough to be in a financial situation that allows them to stay home.
To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.
FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.
FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.
So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.
To the latter I say, embrace your choice and recognize this is a luxury. If I could check out of the daily 9-5 grind I would in a heartbeat. Of course what you do is difficult, most people realize caring for kids is hard, which is why we pay people to do it. It's just that being a working parent is more difficult and it's okay to accept that you wanted a less difficult path. As a SAHM, you will never have to worry about backup care on a snow day, getting out of a meeting because you have a sick child, prepping dinners/lunches the night before, grocery shopping on a lunch break, etc.
FWIW, many of my SAHM friends seem to have less tolerance for stress. I think being a working mom makes you better organized and more able to handle unexpected situations because you have to be. What kills me is when SAHMs post about needing more respect and how what they do is hard when the rest of us think gee how nice it would be to not have to balance my work life and kid's schedule. And when you make comments about "outsourcing" our kids, it comes off as sanctimonious because the whole reason you get to SAH is because of someone else's hard work to pay your bills.
FWIW, we all make the easier choice in life at times. I chose a lesser paying government attorney job than my friends who went into big law. I was blessed with no student loans, so I was able to make that choice. Never in a million years would I gripe to my big law friends about how stressful my job is when it pales in comparison to theirs.
So basically I say to SAHMs, just rock your decision and acknowledge it is a luxury not some huge sacrifice. And don't throw it in the face of working moms and expect us to fawn over what a martyr you are.
Anonymous
02/26/2015 08:43
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no "WOHM mafia," you are deeply delusional about that. What an odd statement to make.
Here on DCUM there certainly is. This thread is a perfect example of it. I have never heard/read such seriously hateful and ignorant comments regarding SAHMs. I thought the mommy wars were long over, but I guess some WOHMs feel differently.
No, there's really not. If you see working moms, heaven forbid, defending themselves, it's because of ridiculous accusations like "You outsource raising your kids" and "You value material comforts over spending time with your family." That's patently wrong. Also I would guess given the higher incomes in this area that the majority of moms work so you're also insulting a very large group of people. But I promise there is no WORKING MOMS BAT-SIGNAL.
Are you in DC? Maybe go smoke some legal weed and chill out for a bit.
Then please explain who is raising your toddler when you are working 10+ hours a day
This is single mom (husband passed away) from several pages back - and happily although I work - my job is 10 minutes from home so DD is not away from me any more than necessary. Not all working moms are away from their kids 10 hours a day but sometimes commute or whatever necessitates that....
Anonymous
02/26/2015 07:02
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no "WOHM mafia," you are deeply delusional about that. What an odd statement to make.
Here on DCUM there certainly is. This thread is a perfect example of it. I have never heard/read such seriously hateful and ignorant comments regarding SAHMs. I thought the mommy wars were long over, but I guess some WOHMs feel differently.
No, there's really not. If you see working moms, heaven forbid, defending themselves, it's because of ridiculous accusations like "You outsource raising your kids" and "You value material comforts over spending time with your family." That's patently wrong. Also I would guess given the higher incomes in this area that the majority of moms work so you're also insulting a very large group of people. But I promise there is no WORKING MOMS BAT-SIGNAL.
Are you in DC? Maybe go smoke some legal weed and chill out for a bit.
Then please explain who is raising your toddler when you are working 10+ hours a day
And people keep saying SAHM are playing nice!
Anonymous
02/26/2015 06:37
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no "WOHM mafia," you are deeply delusional about that. What an odd statement to make.
Here on DCUM there certainly is. This thread is a perfect example of it. I have never heard/read such seriously hateful and ignorant comments regarding SAHMs. I thought the mommy wars were long over, but I guess some WOHMs feel differently.
No, there's really not. If you see working moms, heaven forbid, defending themselves, it's because of ridiculous accusations like "You outsource raising your kids" and "You value material comforts over spending time with your family." That's patently wrong. Also I would guess given the higher incomes in this area that the majority of moms work so you're also insulting a very large group of people. But I promise there is no WORKING MOMS BAT-SIGNAL.
Are you in DC? Maybe go smoke some legal weed and chill out for a bit.
Then please explain who is raising your toddler when you are working 10+ hours a day
BUT THE WORKING MOMS STARTED IT, I THOUGHT THE MOMMY WARS WERE OVER BUT I GUESS WOHM'S FEEL OTHERWISE, POOR MEEEEE.
Anonymous
02/26/2015 06:32
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no "WOHM mafia," you are deeply delusional about that. What an odd statement to make.
Here on DCUM there certainly is. This thread is a perfect example of it. I have never heard/read such seriously hateful and ignorant comments regarding SAHMs. I thought the mommy wars were long over, but I guess some WOHMs feel differently.
No, there's really not. If you see working moms, heaven forbid, defending themselves, it's because of ridiculous accusations like "You outsource raising your kids" and "You value material comforts over spending time with your family." That's patently wrong. Also I would guess given the higher incomes in this area that the majority of moms work so you're also insulting a very large group of people. But I promise there is no WORKING MOMS BAT-SIGNAL.
Are you in DC? Maybe go smoke some legal weed and chill out for a bit.
Then please explain who is raising your toddler when you are working 10+ hours a day
Anonymous
02/26/2015 06:09
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:There is no "WOHM mafia," you are deeply delusional about that. What an odd statement to make.
Here on DCUM there certainly is. This thread is a perfect example of it. I have never heard/read such seriously hateful and ignorant comments regarding SAHMs. I thought the mommy wars were long over, but I guess some WOHMs feel differently.
No, there's really not. If you see working moms, heaven forbid, defending themselves, it's because of ridiculous accusations like "You outsource raising your kids" and "You value material comforts over spending time with your family." That's patently wrong. Also I would guess given the higher incomes in this area that the majority of moms work so you're also insulting a very large group of people. But I promise there is no WORKING MOMS BAT-SIGNAL.
Are you in DC? Maybe go smoke some legal weed and chill out for a bit.
Anonymous
02/25/2015 23:11
Subject: Re:Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
My minority opinion that SAH or WOH is ultimately irrelevant to the outcome, happiness, intelligence, or other important characteristics of the kids, so do whatever works best for the family schedule-wise and finance-wise. There are things that do matter for the outcome of the children, but SAH or WOH is not one of them. I don't see much sense in getting so worked up about it one way or the other.
Anonymous
02/25/2015 23:08
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I will get flamed for this but whatever, If a DH is not bringing in at least 7 figures net, he's just not worth it. This goes double for DH's with Ivy League degrees.
I think the same thing about wives/mothers.
why
why not?
Anonymous
02/25/2015 22:56
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Some women still look horses after Botox, nose surgery and braces.
Anonymous
02/25/2015 22:02
Subject: Tell an opinion you have that is in the strong minority
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I will get flamed for this but whatever, If a DH is not bringing in at least 7 figures net, he's just not worth it. This goes double for DH's with Ivy League degrees.
I think the same thing about wives/mothers.
why
why not?