Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about your son (who has a semi lucrative career but nothing crazy) marrying a woman who is college educated but makes close to minimum wage in her late 20’s? This is my son. She’s pretty and nice but has no career or money of her own. They’re both the same age.

stay out of it

It's interesting how everyone just assumes that because she has a dead-end career that she really wants to be a stay-at-home mom

Anonymous wrote:If your son loses his job or becomes sick or disabled, would this woman step up and find higher paying work or take on extra jobs for income? What is the backup plan here?

I’ve told my 12th grader to never date, marry or bring home any dumb, lazy and/or mean women, unless he wants a lifetime of grief and being taken for granted. Unambitious with no career at almost 30 yrs old falls under one of the first 2 categories.

Well OP's son should keep enough life, dependent and self disability insurance. She has a job so can get health insurance or they can do COBRA or Obamacare. She isn't ambitious and has job flexibility to care for him and home. He can't depend on high earning one to actually physically or financially stand by him and not abandon with prenup and divorce.

If your son loses his job or becomes sick or disabled, would this woman step up and find higher paying work or take on extra jobs for income? What is the backup plan here?

I’ve told my 12th grader to never date, marry or bring home any dumb, lazy and/or mean women, unless he wants a lifetime of grief and being taken for granted. Unambitious with no career at almost 30 yrs old falls under one of the first 2 categories.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t be happy about it at all. Some of these responses are crazy. I’m sure if genders were flipped the responses might change a little.

I would like my children to marry someone who matches or compliments their ambitions and achievements. What OP is describing doesn’t sound like it to me.

Depends. Many ambitious men and women want someone who can support their ambitions by managing house and kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t be happy about it at all. Some of these responses are crazy. I’m sure if genders were flipped the responses might change a little.

I would like my children to marry someone who matches or compliments their ambitions and achievements. What OP is describing doesn’t sound like it to me.

Key phrase there: YOU would want your child to marry someone who matches or compliments their ambitions. What about what your child wants? And if the arrangement they and their partner/spouse has works for them then who the hell cares. You should ask yourself one question: does this person love your child? If the answer is yes the rest of gravy. There are so many other ways to be a good partner to someone then earning the same amount of money. There is the running of the home, being their emotionally, loving them for who they are.

+1 A lot of these people still think they can control their children.

It sounds like you don't know her - or frankly, him - very well if your only comment on their relationship and compatibility is "she makes minimum wage in her late 20s." That seems entirely beside the point?

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t be happy about it at all. Some of these responses are crazy. I’m sure if genders were flipped the responses might change a little.

I would like my children to marry someone who matches or compliments their ambitions and achievements. What OP is describing doesn’t sound like it to me.

Key phrase there: YOU would want your child to marry someone who matches or compliments their ambitions. What about what your child wants? And if the arrangement they and their partner/spouse has works for them then who the hell cares. You should ask yourself one question: does this person love your child? If the answer is yes the rest of gravy. There are so many other ways to be a good partner to someone then earning the same amount of money. There is the running of the home, being their emotionally, loving them for who they are.

Why did someone mention some MILs could be happy because the DIL staying home would boost their son’s career. So in her eyes her DIL is only good to boost a man’s ego? How contradictory and hypocritical coming from a fellow woman herself. Way to set the woman’s movement back a hundred years. Women exist just to make men’s lives easier.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t be happy about it at all. Some of these responses are crazy. I’m sure if genders were flipped the responses might change a little.

I would like my children to marry someone who matches or compliments their ambitions and achievements. What OP is describing doesn’t sound like it to me.

She probably compliments his achievements all the time!

I wouldn’t be happy about it at all. Some of these responses are crazy. I’m sure if genders were flipped the responses might change a little.

I would like my children to marry someone who matches or compliments their ambitions and achievements. What OP is describing doesn’t sound like it to me.

Maybe he wants the opposite of his mom?

I think what matters is that they are on the same page. Someone mentioned what if it were your daughter marrying a guy with no career. To be honest I know quite a few successful marriages where the woman is more career ambitious and the man worked a much easier part time job or was at home for the kids. He did the cooking, laundry etc and it worked out great. I only see an issue with one person not working or not having much of a career if one or both have unrealistic expectations. If you plan to have kids, it's nice to either have a parent at home or a really outstanding and loving nanny who you allow to love the kids.

My mistake, OP prefers a lucrative career, not a career which takes away time, focus and energy away from home and family but doesn't compensate well for it so not a good ROI.

OP prefers a career oriented life, potential DIL prefers life oriented career. Both have right to live their lives as they please. There are no rights and wrongs.