Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think he believed his own bullshit
I think this might be considered a personality disorder.
Not in the world of Bachelor/GB/Bachelorette.
The producers impress on the lead that this is THEIR journey to find love. They must TRUST the process. Immerse themselves in each relationship to figure out if that person is the one. When a lead is relatively naive, and believes that the journey really is about THEM, they usually end up minimizing the impact they are having on the contestants. Some leads have the foresight to consider the fact that they hold the feelings of several other people in their hands. Some do not think that deeply about the collateral damage b/c they are drinking the kool-aid that this is THEIR journey. Exhibit A: Clayton Eckard. He wasn't a bad guy at the beginning, but you could tell that he was too focused on himself and giving NO consideration to how much his actions affected other people. The producers encourage the leads to essentially be selfish and self-centered. The producers are there to make good television that gets ratings (i.e. the messy-er the better!). The producers are not there to help the lead be ethical and considerate.
I believe Gerry when he says that he tried to be "all in" on each relationship when he was with each person. He was essentially "trying on" what it felt like (FOR HIM) to be fully on board with a commitment to each woman. That's actually not a bad strategy FOR HIM to find out which relationship feels "right" in a time-compressed situation where he has to compare the relationships and choose one. It's a super bad strategy for the women because they are taking his "trying it on" as though he really meant it. He was so focused on HIS journey to find the right person, that he didn't give consideration to the women having a journey as well. A smart lead takes the women's feelings into consideration as well as his own. Gerry isn't the first lead to focus exclusively on his journey to the exclusion of the women. He won't be the last. The producers encourage that.