DCUM Forum

Anonymous

04/21/2021 20:58 Subject: What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are these teeth comments abt? Whose teeth are jacked by their 40s? That’s an70s+ issue

The main thing people fail to do is whiten/brighten their teeth. Most people have gray/yellow teeth and this is something I definitely notice. If you drink coffee or wine your teeth are not as white as they could be. This is a small fix that anyone can do themselves and it makes a huge difference.

Can anyone please share the tips? I've been using Colgate whitening toothpaste and mouthwash religiously but it doesn't quite do the trick. Do I buy the strips? Talk to my dentist about professional whitening? How much do those run approximately?

I got one of the at home whitening kits with the LED light tray & whitening gel in a FabFitFun box. It actually works great! I'm a coffee drinker (and former smoker) and 'd been noticing my teeth were starting to look noticeably stained and was becoming self conscious about it. I thought I was going to have to shell out hundreds of dollars for a professional whitening. But the at home kit worked great and far surpassed my expectations. And when I ran out of the gel I ordered some other kind from Amazon and worked just as good. Definitely gives a confidence boost. I couldn't believe I had been agonizing over something that was so easy to fix.

Anonymous

04/21/2021 18:57 Subject: What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are these teeth comments abt? Whose teeth are jacked by their 40s? That’s an70s+ issue

The main thing people fail to do is whiten/brighten their teeth. Most people have gray/yellow teeth and this is something I definitely notice. If you drink coffee or wine your teeth are not as white as they could be. This is a small fix that anyone can do themselves and it makes a huge difference.

Can anyone please share the tips? I've been using Colgate whitening toothpaste and mouthwash religiously but it doesn't quite do the trick. Do I buy the strips? Talk to my dentist about professional whitening? How much do those run approximately?

You can have trays made at the dentist for not that much (depends on how they do it but whitening trays are cheaper than a proper retainer, maybe a couple hundred?) and that is the best option because then you can just whiten at home with OTC products but you will get much better results with the trays.

I actually do not whiten regularly anymore because I don't eat/drink things that cause discoloration anymore (this is the harder but simpler solution!). But I still sometimes use the Colgate whitening pen to brighten my teeth up a little bit. I like how easy it is. If you don't have much discoloration, a few nights with the pen will give you a great smile, especially if you are getting regular cleanings. I use it before family photos or if I have a big work thing coming up as just a little confidence boost.

What I really want to do is a little bit of shaping of my front teeth because I have a small chip from year and years ago and as I've aged it has become more noticeable. I also have a bit more crowding on the bottom teeth than I think I used to. I've heard this happens. Teeth are really tricky as you age.

The blindingly white teeth is such an American thing.

Anonymous

04/21/2021 18:33 Subject: What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dated hairstyle. Just because it looked good on you in your twenties doesn't mean it necessarily still looks good on you with changing jawline, skin and hair texture, etc.

I mean, it can still be right for you. The mistake is not re-evaluating to check.

I agree with this. I think the same goes for makeup. Getting stuck on a look and not evaulating if it continues to work for you and flatter as your age. One of the worst makeup offenders:

Honestly, I think it’s the sun and the smoking that have done Kate in, much more than her makeup.

Since when does she smoke?

She stopped, but definitely did in the past.

Definitely popping out kids back to back. She looks tired. Makeup looks fine and natural. Also lighting is bad in this photo.

I think smoking a couple cigarettes in 2001 didn’t “do her in.” Crazy

Anonymous

04/21/2021 17:28 Subject: What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

The mistake I see the most is women who do not take action when aging starts to impact their hair and it objectively does not look good longer anymore. It sucks but it's luck of the draw (and you really can't argue it - Kate has a one-up here, her hair is gorgeous). My hairline and temples are much thinner now that I am in my 40s, and even though it's still thicker and wavy in the back, I keep it shorter in a simple style and limit all-over color (i'm dishwater blonde and starting to gray).

Anonymous

04/21/2021 17:19 Subject: Re:What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

You know reading these responses, I think we’re talking about two different kinds of mistakes:

(1) Mistakes that age you, like wearing a lot of makeup or wearing clothes that are out of fashion.

(2) Failing to take care of yourself.

I don’t care about how old I look. I spent most of my life trying to get people to respect me and take me seriously because I had a baby face. People still tell me I look young for my age now (42) but I also think I finally look within the vicinity of my actual age, and I love it. No more getting treated like a kid at work or having my kids pediatrician talk down to me. In my experience, young women get very little respect. They might get more attention from men but let’s get real— a lot if that attention is unwanted and the vast majority of those men are not worth your time.

But taking care of yourself? That’s a no brainer. Take care if your skin and hair and nails. Buy good quality clothes that fit. Take care of your teeth! It’s a health issue. And yes to exercise, drinking water, eating reasonably well. I don’t think any of this necessarily makes you look younger— so much of that is genetics and subjective. But it will give you confidence, make you feel good, make others treat you better.

I actually think younger women also frequently make these same mistakes, but they have the excuse of less money and not knowing any better. I get it, because it takes time to figure these things out. But by your 40s, you should know how to care for yourself. You don’t need to spend a ton of money— buy drugstore products, shop sales, buy less. But you should know what it takes to do it and you should be organized enough to get it done. Men should too. This is just part of being an adult.

Anonymous

04/21/2021 17:05 Subject: Re:What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Mistake-wearing unflattering or too much makeup.
Covergirl Simply Ageless make-up in the bottle (more like tinted moisturizer), a little brown brow pencil, a little brown shadow as liner, and a little brown shadow in the eye crease. 57 and no botox, smoker.

Anonymous

04/21/2021 13:41 Subject: What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the biggest mistake I see my 40-something friends making is "waiting until they lose the weight" to get new clothes or update their look. This means they're wearing out-of-date clothes, frumpy sweats, etc., rather than just investing in a couple nice outfits that work for their *current* bodies.

Another mistake IMO is going for a really matte makeup look. I think people who have a little glow look healthier and more vibrant.

Yes regarding the waiting to lose the weight thing. And I say this with kindness because I do this in other areas of my life (waiting to find a partner before I did world travel, for instance). There is so much power in just loving and celebrating who you are right now. I think this is great advice to women at every age. Just invest in yourself now. Don't wait until you've "earned it" with some arbitrary goal. Everyone deserves clothes that fit, for instance.

I have friends who have worn nothing but workout clothes and their maternity/postpartum clothes since their first kid was born. And we're talking years here. A friend of mine just confessed to me that she bought a dress for family photos and it's the first actual piece of adult clothing (not leggings or other workout clothes) she has bought since our kids were born FOUR YEARS AGO, and that she is stressed because she's going to have to buy new underwear and shoes just to be able to wear it. That's crazy! Don't do this.

Ugh this is me! I haven't bought anything new/stylish to wear in years, since my oldest was born in 2016. I live in leggings, especially now that my company is remote with no plans to return in person. I wear the leggings until they get holes. My underwear is from before I got married... I don't even know what to buy at this point and feel awkward wearing anything besides athleisure.

+1. My youngest is 6 and I still wear the same mom jeans since his birth. For me, I just don't think I look good in anything. Before COVID, I would go to a large shopping mall and try on dressing rooms full of clothes. They all either look boxy (ie fat) or just don't look right on me. I wish I had that power to love my body. I just see stretch marks, rolls, sagging. DH even comments sometimes that I never wear dresses, and he hates my skorts. I don't wear yoga pants either (too tight and exposed). Just my mom jeans, which are probably making me look over 40.

Anonymous

04/21/2021 13:41 Subject: Re:What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Color your hair if going gray, cute cut.
2) Fix that BRF (Biitchy Resting Face, not British Royal Family)
3) Better bras
4) Update your wardrobe.

Best tip ever, thank you!

It's a useless tip, because there's not much you can do about it, short of surgery. I guess you could plaster a fake smile on your face so that it's never actually resting.

Also, it's RBF: Resting B*tch Face.

No, it's b*tchy resting face. Resting face is modified by the adjective b*tchy. I don't have a b*tch face that is resting. I have a resting face that looks b*tchy. Not everyone's resting face looks b*tchy. Most people have a neutral resting face.

NP, it's RBF

Disagree. That makes zero grammatical sense.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/fashion/im-not-mad-thats-just-my-resting-b-face.html

https://www.dictionary.com/e/acronyms/rbf/

Yes, if you google further, you will see that they are considered interchangeable. Even though RBF is used more frequently, it is grammatically incorrect. The point of the phrase is to show that one's face at rest looks something other than neutral.

Resting B*tch Face: About 8,840,000 results (0.39 seconds)
B*tchy Resting Face: About 354,000 results (0.46 seconds)

I think we have a very clear winner here. No one gives two shits about whether a slang term is grammatically correct. GTFO with your "modifiers".

Anonymous

04/21/2021 13:21 Subject: What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are these teeth comments abt? Whose teeth are jacked by their 40s? That’s an70s+ issue

The main thing people fail to do is whiten/brighten their teeth. Most people have gray/yellow teeth and this is something I definitely notice. If you drink coffee or wine your teeth are not as white as they could be. This is a small fix that anyone can do themselves and it makes a huge difference.

Can anyone please share the tips? I've been using Colgate whitening toothpaste and mouthwash religiously but it doesn't quite do the trick. Do I buy the strips? Talk to my dentist about professional whitening? How much do those run approximately?

You can have trays made at the dentist for not that much (depends on how they do it but whitening trays are cheaper than a proper retainer, maybe a couple hundred?) and that is the best option because then you can just whiten at home with OTC products but you will get much better results with the trays.

I actually do not whiten regularly anymore because I don't eat/drink things that cause discoloration anymore (this is the harder but simpler solution!). But I still sometimes use the Colgate whitening pen to brighten my teeth up a little bit. I like how easy it is. If you don't have much discoloration, a few nights with the pen will give you a great smile, especially if you are getting regular cleanings. I use it before family photos or if I have a big work thing coming up as just a little confidence boost.

What I really want to do is a little bit of shaping of my front teeth because I have a small chip from year and years ago and as I've aged it has become more noticeable. I also have a bit more crowding on the bottom teeth than I think I used to. I've heard this happens. Teeth are really tricky as you age.

Anonymous

04/21/2021 13:05 Subject: What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are these teeth comments abt? Whose teeth are jacked by their 40s? That’s an70s+ issue

The main thing people fail to do is whiten/brighten their teeth. Most people have gray/yellow teeth and this is something I definitely notice. If you drink coffee or wine your teeth are not as white as they could be. This is a small fix that anyone can do themselves and it makes a huge difference.

Can anyone please share the tips? I've been using Colgate whitening toothpaste and mouthwash religiously but it doesn't quite do the trick. Do I buy the strips? Talk to my dentist about professional whitening? How much do those run approximately?

Anonymous

04/21/2021 11:38 Subject: Re:What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Color your hair if going gray, cute cut.
2) Fix that BRF (Biitchy Resting Face, not British Royal Family)
3) Better bras
4) Update your wardrobe.

Best tip ever, thank you!

It's a useless tip, because there's not much you can do about it, short of surgery. I guess you could plaster a fake smile on your face so that it's never actually resting.

Also, it's RBF: Resting B*tch Face.

No, it's b*tchy resting face. Resting face is modified by the adjective b*tchy. I don't have a b*tch face that is resting. I have a resting face that looks b*tchy. Not everyone's resting face looks b*tchy. Most people have a neutral resting face.

NP, it's RBF

Disagree. That makes zero grammatical sense.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/fashion/im-not-mad-thats-just-my-resting-b-face.html

https://www.dictionary.com/e/acronyms/rbf/

Yes, if you google further, you will see that they are considered interchangeable. Even though RBF is used more frequently, it is grammatically incorrect. The point of the phrase is to show that one's face at rest looks something other than neutral.

Anonymous

04/21/2021 11:34 Subject: What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the biggest mistake I see my 40-something friends making is "waiting until they lose the weight" to get new clothes or update their look. This means they're wearing out-of-date clothes, frumpy sweats, etc., rather than just investing in a couple nice outfits that work for their *current* bodies.

Another mistake IMO is going for a really matte makeup look. I think people who have a little glow look healthier and more vibrant.

Yes regarding the waiting to lose the weight thing. And I say this with kindness because I do this in other areas of my life (waiting to find a partner before I did world travel, for instance). There is so much power in just loving and celebrating who you are right now. I think this is great advice to women at every age. Just invest in yourself now. Don't wait until you've "earned it" with some arbitrary goal. Everyone deserves clothes that fit, for instance.

I have friends who have worn nothing but workout clothes and their maternity/postpartum clothes since their first kid was born. And we're talking years here. A friend of mine just confessed to me that she bought a dress for family photos and it's the first actual piece of adult clothing (not leggings or other workout clothes) she has bought since our kids were born FOUR YEARS AGO, and that she is stressed because she's going to have to buy new underwear and shoes just to be able to wear it. That's crazy! Don't do this.

Ugh this is me! I haven't bought anything new/stylish to wear in years, since my oldest was born in 2016. I live in leggings, especially now that my company is remote with no plans to return in person. I wear the leggings until they get holes. My underwear is from before I got married... I don't even know what to buy at this point and feel awkward wearing anything besides athleisure.

Anonymous

04/21/2021 11:28 Subject: Re:What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1) Color your hair if going gray, cute cut.
2) Fix that BRF (Biitchy Resting Face, not British Royal Family)
3) Better bras
4) Update your wardrobe.

Best tip ever, thank you!

It's a useless tip, because there's not much you can do about it, short of surgery. I guess you could plaster a fake smile on your face so that it's never actually resting.

Also, it's RBF: Resting B*tch Face.

No, it's b*tchy resting face. Resting face is modified by the adjective b*tchy. I don't have a b*tch face that is resting. I have a resting face that looks b*tchy. Not everyone's resting face looks b*tchy. Most people have a neutral resting face.

NP, it's RBF

Disagree. That makes zero grammatical sense.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/fashion/im-not-mad-thats-just-my-resting-b-face.html

https://www.dictionary.com/e/acronyms/rbf/

Anonymous

04/21/2021 11:25 Subject: What beauty mistakes do women over 40 commonly make?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

[b]Running wrecks your skin worse than the sun. I don't get why women do it,

Wait, why is running itself bad for skin (aside from the sun damage from being outside)?

There is a misconception (yes, a misconception) that running bounces you and is rough on the skin - causing it to sag, etc. You will hear this from people all the time. In reality it is the sun damage (any exposure to sun over periods of time damage your skin regardless of sunscreen) and usually runners tend to be thin. It is the dilemma of your face or your ass, which do you want to look good.

In reality if you are lighter and once in your 40s you will age. Your skin will sag and you will lose the volume in your face. People will say botox helps (it helps with forehead lines and the v that appears between the lines) but that is about it. Lines and creases can be helped with fillers - but it is usually short lived (18 months) and makes the face look puffy and fat. You can do threading in the face, which will also give you a few years of a better look and is similar to a facelift in that it will take off years.

For most women aging isn't that big of a deal. But if you are switching companies and trying to get positions it can be, and most professionals end up doing mini facelifts and threading to appear younger.

Sunscreen is the most important thing to help. But the issue is that you should have been doing that in the 20s to prevent that aging in the 40s. Wearing sunscreen now (40s) is to prevent aging in the 60s.

Running and sunning at any age is going to do permanent damage. It accelerates your skin's aging, but every day I see foolish women l doing both.