Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 16:16     Subject: Re:Um, this is so awkward.
I'm the OP!
So, I let this go for a few days until the total awkwardness on my part melted off. I also asked a couple of other friends who thought it was weird but who know her and have hung out with her, so...

I ended up sending a breezy (remember the Breezy friends episode?) text: "Ha, OK. Take good care and hope to see you around."

THEN she replied with four Emoji hearts. I'm basically...done. Yeah. Weird. Ugh. I hate being an adult.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 15:08     Subject: Re:Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:I guess I'm the weird one, because I don't actually find anything wrong with her response! To me, it's the friendship equivalent of "it's not you, it's me" - nothing wrong with you, I just don't have time for more friends right now. I would vastly prefer this response to "I'm busy" where I would keep asking.

Reminds me of this article about "askers vs. guessers" - I'm a major asker, and prefer others to be as well. I also have no problem getting shot down about stuff.

https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/05/askers-vs-guessers/340891/

I'm actually interested in what other options there are besides just saying "I'm busy" - I'm not a fan of the "polite lie" and while I am not the person who texted the OP, and I would be a bit more tactful than this, I wonder what other people think a good response is, generally, to overtures of friendship/increasing friendship "level" for lack of a better word when you just do not have the social bandwidth for more friends.

In fact, I'm gonna create a s/o thread.


I think you’re brain-damaged.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 14:47     Subject: Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Completely understand that you are not looking to expand your bubble at this point in the pandemic."


I would think she meant this.


No, she said what she said. Should have mentioned covid as an easy out if that were the case.


Also they were already in one another’s lives long enough to not be “new”. If COVID based she flunked out on communication (and tact).
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 14:01     Subject: Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Completely understand that you are not looking to expand your bubble at this point in the pandemic."


I would think she meant this.


No, she said what she said. Should have mentioned covid as an easy out if that were the case.
Anonymous
Post 12/14/2020 13:57     Subject: Um, this is so awkward.
I have noticed a general loss in social skills in everyone in the past year. Who knows what she meant or if she would have said the same precovid.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 23:52     Subject: Re:Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She sounds like she’s on the spectrum - almost like aspbergers - that’s just a bizarre and weird response.


No she doesn't.


Thank you.

I am on the spectrum and know this response is rude.

Why are so many of you neurotypicals dead set on the idea that we’re on complete idiots? We know what’s rude and what’s not.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 23:36     Subject: Re:Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:She sounds like she’s on the spectrum - almost like aspbergers - that’s just a bizarre and weird response.


No she doesn't.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 23:26     Subject: Re:Um, this is so awkward.
She sounds like she’s on the spectrum - almost like aspbergers - that’s just a bizarre and weird response.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 22:46     Subject: Re:Um, this is so awkward.
It sounds like she's just a) pretty conservative and risk-averse about who she hangs out with during the pandemic b) lacking in social graces, perhaps made worse by not socializing much for over a year. I know a lot of people who are pretty much eschewing all social meet-ups unless absolutely necessary, or only with select families - and this was even over the summer when numbers were low.

Don't sweat it. It sucks not being able to be social like we used to but these are different times. It simply isn't the time to be expanding your in-person hang out circle.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 21:27     Subject: Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:"Completely understand that you are not looking to expand your bubble at this point in the pandemic."


I would think she meant this.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 14:38     Subject: Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It had to have been a mistake. You are already in her circle of friends and have been for three years. I would assume the best and seek polite clarification.

What do the others in your mutual friend group say about it?


It sounds like they are only friendly acquaintances. If they’ve never done anything one on one, they’re not exactly close.

I don’t understand these responses. You don’t have to be friend-friends or close to decline an invitation politely. Saying no, thank you is fine, it’s the way it was said that causes the problem.


But she didn't say anything mean. I don't find the response mean, just her honest thoughts. I would take it for exactly what she said. The friend doesn't want a hang out for now, likely due to the pandemic. They probably have another family or two they have been doing social distancing get togethers with. There isn't a reason to blow this into some huge drama filled situation. OP don't think too much about this. Just say you will catch up another time and move on


Nobody needs to hear everyone's honest thoughts unfiltered.

Yes, your kid is a brat.
You need to lose weight.
You look older than your age, stop asking.
Your DH is an a**.
How do you DO it on so little money?

And on and on.

Words matter, and there are many times that people don't tell you exactly what they are thinking, nor should they.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 14:25     Subject: Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:My favorite replies:

A) Bless your heart.

B) Oh, dear. I wasn’t marketing myself. FFS. Take care.”

C) Are you for real RN?

D) wow

I like to just let an unpunctuated wow hang off her, awkwardly, like a tile comet


B THIS! Use B.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 14:15     Subject: Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that with behavior like that this woman HAS any friends.


Her husband hits on the other moms, I bet.


She prob does too after a few bottles. Then pretends it didn’t happen.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 11:57     Subject: Um, this is so awkward.
Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised that with behavior like that this woman HAS any friends.


Her husband hits on the other moms, I bet.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2020 10:36     Subject: Um, this is so awkward.
Sounds like the woman is either extremely pretentious with a stick constantly up her butt or is having a mental breakdown. I wouldn’t want to be around someone like this. At least now you know the type of person she really is.