Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 09:52     Subject: Re:Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
I haven't read all of the comments but it is unusual that OP only lives 2 hours away and plans to stay away for a full week. Dad needs cooking and cleaning and meds? That doesn't sound like 24 hour care. The need to be with my 8-week old was so visceral it was hard for me to be away long for errands. I can't imagine why she couldn't visit her baby twice even during the week. Baby will be "fine", but honestly at that age it is your duty to be with your child and you should take the inconvenience to visit mid-week.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 09:50     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh please. I have 4 kids and am bonded with all of them and woupd totally leave a newborn w dad!!!


For an entire week?

OP’s baby and DH will be fine, I agree and morally I have zero judgement of her for doing this. There’s nothing wrong with it, BUT....

I’m slightly shocked at how cavalier people are being about her leaving her newborn for a week. Do you know anyone who did that? Did you do that? I am wondering if I’m an outlier but I never did this nor do I know anyone who ever did. I’ve left my kids for a night or two, I work, etc. but it is a little unusual for a mom to leave her 8 week old for an entire week. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, but I’m a little shocked at people acting as if this is truly no big deal.


DP here. These are unusual times for everyone. Normally she could probably hire someone else to care for her dad or her siblings could fly in. These are not normal times.

Also, while I did not leave my newborns for a week, I did leave my infants with their father for a week while I went on work trips. I think it's more unusual to never leave kids with their presumably competent father.


Pp here. I left my kids with their “presumably competent father” all the time....for half a day or a day but never for a week. I guess I live in a bubble but none of my friends ever left their newborns to go on business trips, or any other kind of trip. DH tried to go on a trip when we had a 10 week old and I told him no because I couldn’t handle the baby alone for a week.


Then you have way more clout at work than I do to be able to tell them no, you're not traveling for work (I'm not being sarcastic- I'm being serious). But as I said, my children were not newborns, but they were 6 months and older when I traveled for work. I work for the feds and had major surgery earlier this year that took me out of work for 3 months. I asked if I could reduce my statutorily required on-site monitoring/auditing by 1/4 to account for the time I was on medical leave; another woman who was pregnant asked the same thing. The answer was no. The pandemic hit and no one went in-person, but if not, I would've had to squish a year's worth of work trips into a shortened time frame. Some of us don't have choices if we want to remain gainfully employed. Would I choose to leave my newborn for shits and giggles? No, I wouldn't but these are odd times which call for desperate measures for some.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 09:17     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:NP-- I took a business trip at 8 weeks (not my choice, but necessary). My kid wasn't an easy baby, but it didn't go well. I ended up getting crazy clogged ducts because I wasn't a regular pumper and my kid was inconsable. He was up all night and it just wasn't okay. My husband is awesome, he handled it, but I had to cut the trip short (before people jump on me for being anti feminist, my kid went on a hunger strike and had to go to the hospital). The odds of that happening are really low and I'm not mentioning it to scare you, but because you may need a backup plan if things don't go well.


This. I mean, it’s awesome/amazing that this 8 week old sleeps 8 hours at night and naps well and takes a bottle. None of my 3 children slept 8 hour stretches or had a consistent nap schedule at that age at anywhere close to that age. Actually neither did my nieces or nephews or any of my friends’ babies. I guess this is a total unicorn baby. Fingers crossed that baby stays that way while OP is gone, or that DH can get some support if baby decides to stop sleeping.


I'm a PP who said I wouldn't do this because of covid, but you sound like an ass here. My baby slept 9 hours a night by 9 weeks, and not having a consistent nap schedule isn't any kind of reason mom has to be in the house instead of dad.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 09:14     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh please. I have 4 kids and am bonded with all of them and woupd totally leave a newborn w dad!!!


For an entire week?

OP’s baby and DH will be fine, I agree and morally I have zero judgement of her for doing this. There’s nothing wrong with it, BUT....

I’m slightly shocked at how cavalier people are being about her leaving her newborn for a week. Do you know anyone who did that? Did you do that? I am wondering if I’m an outlier but I never did this nor do I know anyone who ever did. I’ve left my kids for a night or two, I work, etc. but it is a little unusual for a mom to leave her 8 week old for an entire week. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, but I’m a little shocked at people acting as if this is truly no big deal.


DP here. These are unusual times for everyone. Normally she could probably hire someone else to care for her dad or her siblings could fly in. These are not normal times.

Also, while I did not leave my newborns for a week, I did leave my infants with their father for a week while I went on work trips. I think it's more unusual to never leave kids with their presumably competent father.


Pp here. I left my kids with their “presumably competent father” all the time....for half a day or a day but never for a week. I guess I live in a bubble but none of my friends ever left their newborns to go on business trips, or any other kind of trip. DH tried to go on a trip when we had a 10 week old and I told him no because I couldn’t handle the baby alone for a week.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 09:11     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They will do great!! You will miss them both, especially baby, but they will be perfectly fine together.

I would prepare for the possibility that baby may not want to nurse when you get back, and you’ll need to be extremely careful about COVID exposure.


OP here. It's just my dad and he lives in a rural area. His caretaker injured her back and will be out for a week. My dad is high risk and partially disabled. He needs help and I'm the only one that can help him since I can drive to him.


I’m no stranger to back injuries...there’s a high likelihood this caregiver will not be back after one week, recuperated, and ready to care for OP’s dad solo.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 09:09     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I doubt your father would want you leaving your newborn for a week to tend to him. There is a brand new person who needs you the most. Hire someone to help your father or have your husband help your father.


This!! A million times this!!


It’s a 2 month old baby! If we want equality ladies we have to put our money where our mouth is and let your damn husband who is already on paternity leave step and take care of the baby.


If the greatest achievement of this version of feminism is making it mandatory for me to leave a newborn behind so I can perform different uncompensated family care that the state has also refused to provide in the middle of a pandemic that the state is exacerbating on pain of "not getting equality"...I'm not interested.


Mandatory? There's not a bill being passed that requires new mothers to leave 8 week old babies.

Some of you people are complete morons.


Some of you (you) didn’t read the post before that one, and also are OK with ableist language.


Please point out the "mandatory" point another poster made. And is moron ableist? Sorry about that - would you prefer dimwit? Idiot? Intellectually challenged? All apply.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 09:07     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh please. I have 4 kids and am bonded with all of them and woupd totally leave a newborn w dad!!!


For an entire week?

OP’s baby and DH will be fine, I agree and morally I have zero judgement of her for doing this. There’s nothing wrong with it, BUT....

I’m slightly shocked at how cavalier people are being about her leaving her newborn for a week. Do you know anyone who did that? Did you do that? I am wondering if I’m an outlier but I never did this nor do I know anyone who ever did. I’ve left my kids for a night or two, I work, etc. but it is a little unusual for a mom to leave her 8 week old for an entire week. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, but I’m a little shocked at people acting as if this is truly no big deal.


DP here. These are unusual times for everyone. Normally she could probably hire someone else to care for her dad or her siblings could fly in. These are not normal times.

Also, while I did not leave my newborns for a week, I did leave my infants with their father for a week while I went on work trips. I think it's more unusual to never leave kids with their presumably competent father.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 09:01     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:Oh please. I have 4 kids and am bonded with all of them and woupd totally leave a newborn w dad!!!


For an entire week?

OP’s baby and DH will be fine, I agree and morally I have zero judgement of her for doing this. There’s nothing wrong with it, BUT....

I’m slightly shocked at how cavalier people are being about her leaving her newborn for a week. Do you know anyone who did that? Did you do that? I am wondering if I’m an outlier but I never did this nor do I know anyone who ever did. I’ve left my kids for a night or two, I work, etc. but it is a little unusual for a mom to leave her 8 week old for an entire week. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, but I’m a little shocked at people acting as if this is truly no big deal.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 08:58     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I doubt your father would want you leaving your newborn for a week to tend to him. There is a brand new person who needs you the most. Hire someone to help your father or have your husband help your father.


This!! A million times this!!


It’s a 2 month old baby! If we want equality ladies we have to put our money where our mouth is and let your damn husband who is already on paternity leave step and take care of the baby.


If the greatest achievement of this version of feminism is making it mandatory for me to leave a newborn behind so I can perform different uncompensated family care that the state has also refused to provide in the middle of a pandemic that the state is exacerbating on pain of "not getting equality"...I'm not interested.


Mandatory? There's not a bill being passed that requires new mothers to leave 8 week old babies.

Some of you people are complete morons.


Some of you (you) didn’t read the post before that one, and also are OK with ableist language.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 08:56     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some of you women shock me. It's a week. OP will be gone for a week. it's not like she is leaving for a month. Men leave for a week on business trips and no one says anything. Her child needs his dad just as much as he needs his mom. Her husband sounds like a great dad who will be able to handle things for a week. No need to make OP feel bad.

True, but baby is breastfed. That’s the key difference. I wouldn’t leave a breastfed baby for a week. It would mess up my milk supply (pumping is just not the same) and as another PP mentioned, babies at that age greatly benefit from the antibodies in their mother’s beast milk. Now if OP’s baby was exclusively formula-fed, then there wouldn’t be an issue.


Breastfeeding are highly overstated. There are very minimal benefits for a breastfed baby.


Dp The only reason is the lack of information because it is difficult for science to "test" the benefits of breastfeeding. Each woman makes milk specifically for their infant. Not shaming anyone who can't but, just because there are no studies does not mean it isn't good for you. After all, most studies are done on men and not on women.


I call BS on the idea that each woman makes milk specifically for their infant. Each woman’s milk is slightly different, I’ll give you that, but it isn’t because it is specifically for their infant. The breast is like every other organ in the body. It is not unique in that it is perfect for every woman. For most, they work well enough to provide food for their child to be able to thrive- for others they don’t work as well. Level of fat differs too.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 08:56     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
And I homeschool, nursed until 18 and 21 months. You guys are nuts. I bet half the people responding don't have kids or are crazy controlling.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 08:55     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Mom of 4 here. Ignore he haters. Your husband and baby will be just fine.

So much for feminism on DCUm!!


Do you even know what feminism is? Let me give you a hint, it doesn't mean giving up our biological maternal instincts.

The kid is 8 weeks and mom will be pumping!! Baby won't even notice lol.

She'll get a bunch of decent nights of sleep. It's a win win!
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 08:54     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Oh please. I have 4 kids and am bonded with all of them and woupd totally leave a newborn w dad!!!
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 08:52     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Newborns basically sleep and eat. They’re the easiest age to take care of, provided they aren’t colicky, so I wouldn’t worry about the DH. And I think the posters who are outraged are (perhaps a little hyperbolically) reacting to the nonchalance in OP’s leaving her newborn for a week. Most women wouldn’t be so indifferent (?) to not being with their brand new infant for a week but who knows, maybe the text doesn’t translate emotions well or this is a troll.


OP here. I’m not a troll. I’m nervous and will my baby but I know he will be in great hands. He will be with his dad, not a stranger. I trust my husband and I know he is a capable of taking care of our baby for a week. My baby sleeps an 8 hour stretch at night, takes a bottle, and naps well. I would be more worried if it were another family member, but my husband is a great dad. He may not be me or a woman, but his male genitalia doesn’t make him any less of competent caregiver.


I say this kindly but this sounds like post partum depression. I know you’re in defensive mode right now but hopefully, if things get worse you’ll get help.

How on earth does this sound like PPD?


Not bonding with your baby is a sign of PPD. That a parent can easily leave their 8 week old baby for an entire week when there are clearly other options (even though OP is making excuses as to why they won't work), is a sign of not properly bonding with the baby.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2020 08:51     Subject: Leaving Husband With Baby For A Week
Dad and baby will be just fine. You will be a mess though and that is perfectly normal. But believe me they will do just fine and don’t listen to the negative people here.

Here’s a funny story that will make you chuckle https://www.boredpanda.com/on-adventure-with-dad-baby-photos/