Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 14:04     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"Honey, mom relies on you for being mature because she cannot be. She needs to have your carry the burden of supporting her emotional insecurities for life. Now, you will think it is your job to make mom happy in her misery. But, that is just because you grew up like that. She trained you to be her support instead of her being your support. You might think she is talking about the coronavirus ruining some life that you should have led, but in future you will realize that she was talking about her own immature problems. Her inability to cope with life is what will ruin your life. With time, if you do not already feel this way, you will start to feel guilty when mom is unhappy depressed or has anxiety attack. You will try to do better but nothing will ever be enough. One day, if you are lucky you will realize that you can never relax or lead your own life as you would like to, because she has become your only priority. Hopefully, one day you will realize that you were not to blame for her emotional issues. That you were denied a life where you, a child, comes first in her mom's priorities. Hopefully then, you will be able to break away from the guilt your mom put on your tiny little shoulders and start living your own life. Good luck, little angel, remember, it is not your fault."


You are why I didn't even bother to make friends after this last PCS.

Truth hurts op. You are a danger to your child. You will never see it, you sound like an insane ocd narcissists.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 14:04     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did anyone check with Jeff if this is a troll? Sounds like one of the right wingers that is trying to prove some point.


Not a troll. I asked a simple question that spiraled. But I guess we'll see who's right in a year.


A year isn't forever, which is what you were saying in your OP.


Right. Because we already know the answer.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 14:02     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Anonymous wrote:acknowledge feelings, acknowledge feelings, acknowledge feelings. kids need to learn how to deal with these and become emotionally intelligent. part of the reason we are in this mess is that many (upper middle class) Americans are poorly equipped to deal with adversity and we try to titanic and/or "be positive" our way out of it. acknowledge feelings, give kids the tools to deal with their feelings, and then reflect.


We're not UMC. Quit projecting.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 14:01     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Anonymous wrote:"Honey, mom relies on you for being mature because she cannot be. She needs to have your carry the burden of supporting her emotional insecurities for life. Now, you will think it is your job to make mom happy in her misery. But, that is just because you grew up like that. She trained you to be her support instead of her being your support. You might think she is talking about the coronavirus ruining some life that you should have led, but in future you will realize that she was talking about her own immature problems. Her inability to cope with life is what will ruin your life. With time, if you do not already feel this way, you will start to feel guilty when mom is unhappy depressed or has anxiety attack. You will try to do better but nothing will ever be enough. One day, if you are lucky you will realize that you can never relax or lead your own life as you would like to, because she has become your only priority. Hopefully, one day you will realize that you were not to blame for her emotional issues. That you were denied a life where you, a child, comes first in her mom's priorities. Hopefully then, you will be able to break away from the guilt your mom put on your tiny little shoulders and start living your own life. Good luck, little angel, remember, it is not your fault."


You are why I didn't even bother to make friends after this last PCS.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 14:00     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Anonymous wrote:I’m super scared of covid but I don’t understand your post, OP. What is your child never going to be able to do again? I don’t get it.


See her grandparents, travel overseas, go to school without a mask, play on a playground, go to church, etc, etc.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:58     Subject: Re:How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like a mental case. Let them see their grandparents for goodness sake


State quarantine doesn't allow for it. How privileged you must be for that not to be an issue for you.


What state doe you live in? We are seeing grandparents. I'm unaware of a state that forbids seeing grandparents.


They are in New Mexico. We aren't allowed without a 14 day quarantine.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:57     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DD (6) thinks things will go back to normal soon. She obviously can't grasp the full impact of the situation yet, and thinks that one day she'll be able to see her grandparents, not a wear a mask, travel, hug friends, attend school. I've been very non-committal about the future because I don't want to negatively affect her mental health, but at some point she'll need to understand that things are different now and won't ever go back. I'm actually wondering if I'm doing her a disservice by putting it off, but I'm dreading it.

Anyway, how and when do you plan on having this conversation?

Listen - and I'm not being ironic here - you need help. Do you have a therapist you can talk to?
People freaking WILL (and some still do!) hug friends, attend school (some privates will be open as soon as this August), travel, and even ditch masks, eventually. A year from now, everything will be back to normal.
Reading some posts here, you'd think an asteroid hit the Earth and the surviving 50 humans all frequent DCUM. "Things are different now and won't ever go back". Geez.


Interesting. You've not heard the term "new normal" either? And you do realize the government never drops restrictions they institute, right?


Wait, so we still have Prohibition?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:54     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
2021, not 2031, obviously.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:53     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?

This is why we have spoiled, entitled brats. Their parents and teachers apparently can’t bring themselves to parent and teach them.

Tell them things will get better but not for a long time. Late 2031 or early 2022 is my estimate as a biomedical researcher.

It’s important they should know for their mental health, so that they can develop resilience and know what to expect.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:49     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
"Honey, mom relies on you for being mature because she cannot be. She needs to have your carry the burden of supporting her emotional insecurities for life. Now, you will think it is your job to make mom happy in her misery. But, that is just because you grew up like that. She trained you to be her support instead of her being your support. You might think she is talking about the coronavirus ruining some life that you should have led, but in future you will realize that she was talking about her own immature problems. Her inability to cope with life is what will ruin your life. With time, if you do not already feel this way, you will start to feel guilty when mom is unhappy depressed or has anxiety attack. You will try to do better but nothing will ever be enough. One day, if you are lucky you will realize that you can never relax or lead your own life as you would like to, because she has become your only priority. Hopefully, one day you will realize that you were not to blame for her emotional issues. That you were denied a life where you, a child, comes first in her mom's priorities. Hopefully then, you will be able to break away from the guilt your mom put on your tiny little shoulders and start living your own life. Good luck, little angel, remember, it is not your fault."
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:39     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
I’m super scared of covid but I don’t understand your post, OP. What is your child never going to be able to do again? I don’t get it.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:36     Subject: Re:How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I ain’t scared of no stinkin virus


Come visit my ICU

Oh, and how many in “your ICU” aren’t nursing home patients or long term care residents?
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:32     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Eventually things will go back to "normal" OP, just like they did with the 1918 great influenza. It just may take a few years in the US at this point. See: Roaring 20s.

But I can understand that 2-3 years seems like forever for a kid or even a college student.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:29     Subject: How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
Anonymous wrote:I thought this thread was going to be about a child who lost a parent to Covid.


I thought it was going to be about a child with a cancer diagnosis.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2020 13:28     Subject: Re:How do you tell a child they life they knew is over?
NP. Am I scared of the virus, yes. Do I believe we will never again leave our houses, see distant family, or resume some sort of normal life? Of course not. It can get scary that we don’t know when that will be, and that can be panic-inducing, but for now we are healthy and I’m being honest with my child.

Don’t lie to your 6yr old that this will end “soon”. Her idea of soon is probably this weekend. Tell her it might be a while but scientists are working hard and we need to do our part to get this over with.

We are generally not a screen family but for now have evolved. The kids use Zoom and other tools to see friends and family. We watch more funny movies together. It’s not what I’d prefer, but it’s our current reality and will be ok.