Anonymous wrote:All these threads and all these arguments come down to the same conclusion: people who are happy in life and secure with their choices do not worry about whether or why other people do it differently.

Happy SAHMs don't judge working moms.
Happy working moms don't judge SAHMs.

People happy with their own life balance don't get angry, defensive, and judgmental very easily!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.

You do realize people's social circles are different, right? I'm not PP but I am a highly educated SAHM of school age kids. A handful of my mom friends went back to work when our youngest hit K but most didn't. All but one of us have graduate degrees including law and medical degrees. You could make the argument that we are by default (no longer) ambitious but you can't say we aren't highly educated just because we left the workforce.

+1
Or we simply realized what is important to us in life. You are very replaceable at your job, no matter what it is. Very few people look back at the end of the day and wish they had worked more. Quite honestly your assessment that SAHMs are not ambitious only reflects poorly on you.

DP. By definition, if you choose to remain at home and not work once your children are in school full-time, you are not ambitious. This is a basic observation. The only thing that would potentially reflect poorly on someone might be how they feel about people who are not ambitious, but not the fact that they point out the obvious. Not everyone needs to be ambitious, that's okay.

Some individuals are more replaceable than others, but regardless, many people find great satisfaction from their work. And even for those who might not, I'd like to see how happy the wealthy SAHMs would feel if there weren't people out there providing medical care for their precious children, not just doctors, but nurses and all the other laboratory and administrative staff that keep offices and hospitals running, or if the people who work at power plants, water treatment plants, city governments, county governments, grocery stores, farms, and on and on, all just decided their jobs just weren't important? You rely on the hard work of tons of people you will never meet EVERY SINGLE DAY for your cushy life. The simple fact is that you allow someone else to support you at a time when your children no longer need your immediate care for upwards of six hours a day.

It reflects poorly on you that, in your defensiveness, you start your comment with an assertion that only moms who stay home even after their children are in school have discovered what is important in life. How arrogant of you.

This is such a bizarre argument! It's immoral to not pay someone a fair wage for a job you hire them to do. It's not immoral to hire someone. And the fact that some people, and that includes men and women, leave the workforce (whether to stay at home with school age kids, retire early, for medical reasons or they are just rich and don't want to work) does not mean our economy will collapse. There has always been a segment of people in society who choose not to work.

You are not getting me at all. Where did I use the word immoral? Where did I mention economic collapse? No where. WTF are you even talking about? I am not saying everyone has to work, I am saying don't insult those who choose to do so as not having figured out "what is important". I am saying don't insult them by telling them how replaceable they are. Every single one of us depends on the work of many other people every single day, so don't be such a snob that you devalue it in order to justify that you choose not to work or have the luxury not to do so. You are wealthy and lucky. Be grateful that you have that option instead of a snobby prat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.

You do realize people's social circles are different, right? I'm not PP but I am a highly educated SAHM of school age kids. A handful of my mom friends went back to work when our youngest hit K but most didn't. All but one of us have graduate degrees including law and medical degrees. You could make the argument that we are by default (no longer) ambitious but you can't say we aren't highly educated just because we left the workforce.

+1
Or we simply realized what is important to us in life. You are very replaceable at your job, no matter what it is. Very few people look back at the end of the day and wish they had worked more. Quite honestly your assessment that SAHMs are not ambitious only reflects poorly on you.

DP. By definition, if you choose to remain at home and not work once your children are in school full-time, you are not ambitious. This is a basic observation. The only thing that would potentially reflect poorly on someone might be how they feel about people who are not ambitious, but not the fact that they point out the obvious. Not everyone needs to be ambitious, that's okay.

Some individuals are more replaceable than others, but regardless, many people find great satisfaction from their work. And even for those who might not, I'd like to see how happy the wealthy SAHMs would feel if there weren't people out there providing medical care for their precious children, not just doctors, but nurses and all the other laboratory and administrative staff that keep offices and hospitals running, or if the people who work at power plants, water treatment plants, city governments, county governments, grocery stores, farms, and on and on, all just decided their jobs just weren't important? You rely on the hard work of tons of people you will never meet EVERY SINGLE DAY for your cushy life. The simple fact is that you allow someone else to support you at a time when your children no longer need your immediate care for upwards of six hours a day.

It reflects poorly on you that, in your defensiveness, you start your comment with an assertion that only moms who stay home even after their children are in school have discovered what is important in life. How arrogant of you.

This is such a bizarre argument! It's immoral to not pay someone a fair wage for a job you hire them to do. It's not immoral to hire someone. And the fact that some people, and that includes men and women, leave the workforce (whether to stay at home with school age kids, retire early, for medical reasons or they are just rich and don't want to work) does not mean our economy will collapse. There has always been a segment of people in society who choose not to work.

You are not getting me at all. Where did I use the word immoral? Where did I mention economic collapse? No where. WTF are you even talking about? I am not saying everyone has to work, I am saying don't insult those who choose to do so as not having figured out "what is important". I am saying don't insult them by telling them how replaceable they are. Every single one of us depends on the work of many other people every single day, so don't be such a snob that you devalue it in order to justify that you choose not to work or have the luxury not to do so. You are wealthy and lucky. Be grateful that you have that option instead of a snobby prat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.

You do realize people's social circles are different, right? I'm not PP but I am a highly educated SAHM of school age kids. A handful of my mom friends went back to work when our youngest hit K but most didn't. All but one of us have graduate degrees including law and medical degrees. You could make the argument that we are by default (no longer) ambitious but you can't say we aren't highly educated just because we left the workforce.

+1
Or we simply realized what is important to us in life. You are very replaceable at your job, no matter what it is. Very few people look back at the end of the day and wish they had worked more. Quite honestly your assessment that SAHMs are not ambitious only reflects poorly on you.

DP. By definition, if you choose to remain at home and not work once your children are in school full-time, you are not ambitious. This is a basic observation. The only thing that would potentially reflect poorly on someone might be how they feel about people who are not ambitious, but not the fact that they point out the obvious. Not everyone needs to be ambitious, that's okay.

Some individuals are more replaceable than others, but regardless, many people find great satisfaction from their work. And even for those who might not, I'd like to see how happy the wealthy SAHMs would feel if there weren't people out there providing medical care for their precious children, not just doctors, but nurses and all the other laboratory and administrative staff that keep offices and hospitals running, or if the people who work at power plants, water treatment plants, city governments, county governments, grocery stores, farms, and on and on, all just decided their jobs just weren't important? You rely on the hard work of tons of people you will never meet EVERY SINGLE DAY for your cushy life. The simple fact is that you allow someone else to support you at a time when your children no longer need your immediate care for upwards of six hours a day.

It reflects poorly on you that, in your defensiveness, you start your comment with an assertion that only moms who stay home even after their children are in school have discovered what is important in life. How arrogant of you.

I didn’t make that assertion at all. Saying one thing is important to a SAHM is not to the exclusion of non-SAHMs. That may be how you read it, but that’s not what I said. For a variety of reasons, including finances, temperaments, military spouses or the health of your kids not everyone can and or wants to stay home.
But it’s extremely disrespectful to tell them they are uneducated or unambitious because they haven’t made the same choices as you. You clearly have a lot of resentment to SAHMs and assume all are wealthy or living cushy lives. That’s a huge generalization.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.

You do realize people's social circles are different, right? I'm not PP but I am a highly educated SAHM of school age kids. A handful of my mom friends went back to work when our youngest hit K but most didn't. All but one of us have graduate degrees including law and medical degrees. You could make the argument that we are by default (no longer) ambitious but you can't say we aren't highly educated just because we left the workforce.

+1
Or we simply realized what is important to us in life. You are very replaceable at your job, no matter what it is. Very few people look back at the end of the day and wish they had worked more. Quite honestly your assessment that SAHMs are not ambitious only reflects poorly on you.

DP. By definition, if you choose to remain at home and not work once your children are in school full-time, you are not ambitious. This is a basic observation. The only thing that would potentially reflect poorly on someone might be how they feel about people who are not ambitious, but not the fact that they point out the obvious. Not everyone needs to be ambitious, that's okay.

Some individuals are more replaceable than others, but regardless, many people find great satisfaction from their work. And even for those who might not, I'd like to see how happy the wealthy SAHMs would feel if there weren't people out there providing medical care for their precious children, not just doctors, but nurses and all the other laboratory and administrative staff that keep offices and hospitals running, or if the people who work at power plants, water treatment plants, city governments, county governments, grocery stores, farms, and on and on, all just decided their jobs just weren't important? You rely on the hard work of tons of people you will never meet EVERY SINGLE DAY for your cushy life. The simple fact is that you allow someone else to support you at a time when your children no longer need your immediate care for upwards of six hours a day.

It reflects poorly on you that, in your defensiveness, you start your comment with an assertion that only moms who stay home even after their children are in school have discovered what is important in life. How arrogant of you.

This is such a bizarre argument! It's immoral to not pay someone a fair wage for a job you hire them to do. It's not immoral to hire someone. And the fact that some people, and that includes men and women, leave the workforce (whether to stay at home with school age kids, retire early, for medical reasons or they are just rich and don't want to work) does not mean our economy will collapse. There has always been a segment of people in society who choose not to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.

You do realize people's social circles are different, right? I'm not PP but I am a highly educated SAHM of school age kids. A handful of my mom friends went back to work when our youngest hit K but most didn't. All but one of us have graduate degrees including law and medical degrees. You could make the argument that we are by default (no longer) ambitious but you can't say we aren't highly educated just because we left the workforce.

+1
Or we simply realized what is important to us in life. You are very replaceable at your job, no matter what it is. Very few people look back at the end of the day and wish they had worked more. Quite honestly your assessment that SAHMs are not ambitious only reflects poorly on you.

DP. By definition, if you choose to remain at home and not work once your children are in school full-time, you are not ambitious. This is a basic observation. The only thing that would potentially reflect poorly on someone might be how they feel about people who are not ambitious, but not the fact that they point out the obvious. Not everyone needs to be ambitious, that's okay.

Some individuals are more replaceable than others, but regardless, many people find great satisfaction from their work. And even for those who might not, I'd like to see how happy the wealthy SAHMs would feel if there weren't people out there providing medical care for their precious children, not just doctors, but nurses and all the other laboratory and administrative staff that keep offices and hospitals running, or if the people who work at power plants, water treatment plants, city governments, county governments, grocery stores, farms, and on and on, all just decided their jobs just weren't important? You rely on the hard work of tons of people you will never meet EVERY SINGLE DAY for your cushy life. The simple fact is that you allow someone else to support you at a time when your children no longer need your immediate care for upwards of six hours a day.

It reflects poorly on you that, in your defensiveness, you start your comment with an assertion that only moms who stay home even after their children are in school have discovered what is important in life. How arrogant of you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.

You do realize people's social circles are different, right? I'm not PP but I am a highly educated SAHM of school age kids. A handful of my mom friends went back to work when our youngest hit K but most didn't. All but one of us have graduate degrees including law and medical degrees. You could make the argument that we are by default (no longer) ambitious but you can't say we aren't highly educated just because we left the workforce.

+1
Or we simply realized what is important to us in life. You are very replaceable at your job, no matter what it is. Very few people look back at the end of the day and wish they had worked more. Quite honestly your assessment that SAHMs are not ambitious only reflects poorly on you.

DP. By definition, if you choose to remain at home and not work once your children are in school full-time, you are not ambitious. This is a basic observation. The only thing that would potentially reflect poorly on someone might be how they feel about people who are not ambitious, but not the fact that they point out the obvious. Not everyone needs to be ambitious, that's okay.

Some individuals are more replaceable than others, but regardless, many people find great satisfaction from their work. And even for those who might not, I'd like to see how happy the wealthy SAHMs would feel if there weren't people out there providing medical care for their precious children, not just doctors, but nurses and all the other laboratory and administrative staff that keep offices and hospitals running, or if the people who work at power plants, water treatment plants, city governments, county governments, grocery stores, farms, and on and on, all just decided their jobs just weren't important? You rely on the hard work of tons of people you will never meet EVERY SINGLE DAY for your cushy life. The simple fact is that you allow someone else to support you at a time when your children no longer need your immediate care for upwards of six hours a day.

It reflects poorly on you that, in your defensiveness, you start your comment with an assertion that only moms who stay home even after their children are in school have discovered what is important in life. How arrogant of you.

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how highly educated equates with ambitious. You can be highly educated but choose to step off the fast track. You can be ambitious but not particularly well educated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.

You do realize people's social circles are different, right? I'm not PP but I am a highly educated SAHM of school age kids. A handful of my mom friends went back to work when our youngest hit K but most didn't. All but one of us have graduate degrees including law and medical degrees. You could make the argument that we are by default (no longer) ambitious but you can't say we aren't highly educated just because we left the workforce.

+1
Or we simply realized what is important to us in life. You are very replaceable at your job, no matter what it is. Very few people look back at the end of the day and wish they had worked more. Quite honestly your assessment that SAHMs are not ambitious only reflects poorly on you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.

You do realize people's social circles are different, right? I'm not PP but I am a highly educated SAHM of school age kids. A handful of my mom friends went back to work when our youngest hit K but most didn't. All but one of us have graduate degrees including law and medical degrees. You could make the argument that we are by default (no longer) ambitious but you can't say we aren't highly educated just because we left the workforce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAH wife with kids who are in school. I have a lot of help. I love my life. My DH loves how relaxing it is for him to come home. My kids have a jam packed schedule but they also appreciate the convenience of having mom present at home.

Our life is going swimmingly. I have my hobbies and causes and my life has the pace that works for me and my family. I am highly educated and I continue to educate myself, just for the heck of it. I don't have to discuss my life with my friends or neighbors or ex-coworkers or family. I am not on social media and I do not give explanations to people.

OP, embrace your life as it is and do not talk about it or explain it. These decisions are family decisions - strictly between your DH and you.

I doubt you are highly educated because no one who is ambitious would want to be a housewife whose sole existence is to serve her husband and kids and make their lives more convenient. The highly educated SAHMs are at home with young kids but start doing something meaningful once their kids are in school.