Anonymous wrote:All those who are condemning Greek life needs to check their hypocrisy. It’s really not much different from the process your daughter went through to get into UVA in the first place. She was judged on her intelligence and her well roundedness and possibly her ability to speak and present herself well.

Please stop with the hypocritical “I would never encourage my daughter to go through this process “, you already encouraged her to go through it when she applied to UVA.

Didn’t realize colleges rank applicants on their looks. So interesting!

The cutesy crafts are easy to criticize but when a girl rushes freshman year she is still only 18 and months out of HS. They exchange what gifts they have or can make. It’s not always the highest quality. However some of the nicer small paintings and gifts have been passed down for years. They can also be purchased on Etsy. It’s part of a process. By the next year they look back and see that they are more mature & have outgrown that style of gift.

Anonymous wrote:All those who are condemning Greek life needs to check their hypocrisy. It’s really not much different from the process your daughter went through to get into UVA in the first place. She was judged on her intelligence and her well roundedness and possibly her ability to speak and present herself well.

Please stop with the hypocritical “I would never encourage my daughter to go through this process “, you already encouraged her to go through it when she applied to UVA.

UVA applicants are assessed primarily on the rigor of their high school coursework and their performance in that work. They may also be assessed on a history of engagement, achievement and leadership in an extracurricular and performance on a standardized exam, and their writing of a personal essay. Are you really equating this with rush? The level of denial here is unreal.

Regardless, every year fewer people are applying to participate in Greek life. My take is that there is far more desperation on the part of the houses in getting what they see as "good bids" than girls rushing.

Anonymous wrote:And it was not based on looks and weight.

I was heavy and plain in college. I got into a sorority. My daughter takes after me, she also got into a sorority.

Obviously getting in wasn't based on looks and weight for me, why do you assume that's the only criteria?

Anonymous wrote:All those who are condemning Greek life needs to check their hypocrisy. It’s really not much different from the process your daughter went through to get into UVA in the first place. She was judged on her intelligence and her well roundedness and possibly her ability to speak and present herself well.

Please stop with the hypocritical “I would never encourage my daughter to go through this process “, you already encouraged her to go through it when she applied to UVA.

That is not entirely true. I was in a sorority and it is a bit more brutal. Looks, clothes, who their boyfriends are and what fraternity they are in . . . are absolutely taken into consideration during rush. Are those considerations for admissions to UVA?

I had an ok experience with my sorority but I cannot say that I'd recommend or support it for my daughter. And we'd have an open discussion of the negatives of the process and experience. Yes, there are some positives. But there are a WHOLE lot of negatives. And the emphasis on looks and things like that are one of the big ones. I almost had it out with an older "sister" who, when she described the girl she just took around one of the events, as "granola" as well as some other adjectives. Everything she described was not her (bottle blond, petite, blue eyes) and entirely had to do with looks. It was despicable.

Rush is over. Are there young women at UVA who did not receive bids this year? Last year it seemed that all houses weren’t full. I know someone who was recruited in the spring and never indicated any interest in a sorority. They asked, she said OK with indifference. They took her. She joined. Seemed happy. They have a huge national network. Could be a benefit.
Probably surprised her parents.

And it was not based on looks and weight.

How is that similar, since they are part of a student body who all made the same cut?

All those who are condemning Greek life needs to check their hypocrisy. It’s really not much different from the process your daughter went through to get into UVA in the first place. She was judged on her intelligence and her well roundedness and possibly her ability to speak and present herself well.

Please stop with the hypocritical “I would never encourage my daughter to go through this process “, you already encouraged her to go through it when she applied to UVA.

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Anonymous wrote:For many schools it’s the way social life is structured. Eg huge groups of girls and boys sit in a section at football and on the weekends have huge events with other Greek organizations. Then they go on spring break and stay in big houses together. They have sports competitions with other houses and do charity events. If you don’t get involved it can be hard to socialize on some campuses. Now if no one did it that’s one thing. But if all the social people do it at your school you feel like you have to join or won’t have a social life.

And this is why I deliberately chose a college with no Greek system at all. Everyone sat with one another at games, socialized with everyone, and went to any and all parties. So much more fun.

Maybe your memories are a little rosy? I went to schools without Greek life and certain clubs operated like just like frats.

There will always be cliques and a social hierarchy. In the absence of Greek letters, clubs take that place. I was in the most prestigious club at my school and while I love the immediate connection I have when I meet someone who was in that club regardless of their age, I realize that we operated like a fraternity, though we were co-ed.

Uh, no. My memories are crystal clear. My school did not have the (social) clubs you appear to be referring to, which do indeed operate like frats/sororities (sounds like the Eating Clubs at Princeton, etc.). Again, there was no social hierarchy at all at my SLAC. It was a smallish school and by and large, everyone got to know everyone else eventually.

I'm PP. At my school, those clubs were the newspaper, student council, tour guides and the arts programming board. No eating clubs. ~3500 students.

There are always cliques. There's always a hierarchy.

NP: My experience is similar to the PP-- I would say at my SLAC of about 1500 students with no Greek life there were groups of friends but no noticeable hierarchy. Sure a sociologist would probably find a way to discern some hierarchy but it was far less than any other environment I've been in. No clubs signaled anything beyond what you were interested in and none were particularly cool (or not). Most people knew each other and there weren't popular cliques or anything like that. Most people heard about most parties and would go if they were inclined. It was like if you were one of the few that went there you were part of that group and had a sense of connection to each other just by virtue of that and no smaller divisions were needed. It was very different from my brother's school (big 10) that was more dominated by Greek life.

So your college was the size of a public high school. Yikes. That comes with its own set of problems. Way too small of a pond.

Well when you’re voluntarily putting yourself into smaller groups like sororities/fraternities, you’re limiting yourself to hanging around with just those people. So not sure what your point is?
-DP

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Anonymous wrote:Who in this day and age rushes a sorority? Grow up.

You know they’re 18, right?

Plenty of 18 yo. olds go away to school and don’t have to buy friends.
-DP

Another ugly duckling sitting in judgment.

DP. What does appearance have to do with anything? Oh wait - you’re not saying that ugly girls aren’t invited to join sororities... or are you?

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Anonymous wrote:Who in this day and age rushes a sorority? Grow up.

You know they’re 18, right?

You know those 18-year-old supposed adults are not necessarily footing their own bills at college, right? So they don't get perfect freedom to do as they please, especially if what they please costs money that should be going to tuition or being saved for grad school. Get real.

No one in “this day and age” seriously thinks 18 year old are really adults. You sound like a troll.

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Anonymous wrote:And you calling that poster an ugly duckling is not sitting in judgement?

I'm just saying...

Don't engage, it's a troll...though it would be amusing to have a middle-aged ex sorority girl thinking everyone is jealous of her and her sisters responding with this degree of delusion.

Not trolling at all. Just giving you a taste of your own medcine

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Anonymous wrote:For many schools it’s the way social life is structured. Eg huge groups of girls and boys sit in a section at football and on the weekends have huge events with other Greek organizations. Then they go on spring break and stay in big houses together. They have sports competitions with other houses and do charity events. If you don’t get involved it can be hard to socialize on some campuses. Now if no one did it that’s one thing. But if all the social people do it at your school you feel like you have to join or won’t have a social life.

And this is why I deliberately chose a college with no Greek system at all. Everyone sat with one another at games, socialized with everyone, and went to any and all parties. So much more fun.

Maybe your memories are a little rosy? I went to schools without Greek life and certain clubs operated like just like frats.

There will always be cliques and a social hierarchy. In the absence of Greek letters, clubs take that place. I was in the most prestigious club at my school and while I love the immediate connection I have when I meet someone who was in that club regardless of their age, I realize that we operated like a fraternity, though we were co-ed.

Uh, no. My memories are crystal clear. My school did not have the (social) clubs you appear to be referring to, which do indeed operate like frats/sororities (sounds like the Eating Clubs at Princeton, etc.). Again, there was no social hierarchy at all at my SLAC. It was a smallish school and by and large, everyone got to know everyone else eventually.

I'm PP. At my school, those clubs were the newspaper, student council, tour guides and the arts programming board. No eating clubs. ~3500 students.

There are always cliques. There's always a hierarchy.

NP: My experience is similar to the PP-- I would say at my SLAC of about 1500 students with no Greek life there were groups of friends but no noticeable hierarchy. Sure a sociologist would probably find a way to discern some hierarchy but it was far less than any other environment I've been in. No clubs signaled anything beyond what you were interested in and none were particularly cool (or not). Most people knew each other and there weren't popular cliques or anything like that. Most people heard about most parties and would go if they were inclined. It was like if you were one of the few that went there you were part of that group and had a sense of connection to each other just by virtue of that and no smaller divisions were needed. It was very different from my brother's school (big 10) that was more dominated by Greek life.

So your college was the size of a public high school. Yikes. That comes with its own set of problems. Way too small of a pond.

Worked for me. I went to gigantic urban public high school --one of the biggest in the US with over 5000 students--and I loved the more idyllic atmosphere and cozier community of my SLAC. Everyone also did a lot of off-campus experiences periodically so it didn't get too insular: I spent a semester in NYC doing apprenticeships, two semesters abroad, a research internship at a R1 university, and a second 10 week study abroad--all funded by the SLAC. It really didn't feel too small to me at that point in my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who in this day and age rushes a sorority? Grow up.

You know they’re 18, right?

You know those 18-year-old supposed adults are not necessarily footing their own bills at college, right? So they don't get perfect freedom to do as they please, especially if what they please costs money that should be going to tuition or being saved for grad school. Get real.