Anonymous wrote:I can not stand women who expect gifts and thank you cards. It really kills the whole purpose behind both things.

so how often do you go to the trouble of buying gifts for people or do you just expect your wife to do it all for you?

Anonymous wrote:I can not stand women who expect gifts and thank you cards. It really kills the whole purpose behind both things.

This is my mom. It’s exhausting. She has polled me about which relatives have sent gifts to my children for the holidays. Like asked me multiple times if relatives A and B have sent anything. All the while saying “oh, it didn’t matter” but clearly it matters to her. Then she continues to “coach” me on the acceptable ways to have the kids thank people for gifts. I’ll be 40 in a few months. My kids always thank people who give them gifts, but since my mom doesn’t actually witness it she assumes it doesn’t happen and she has to manage it. It’s exhausting and I dread gift giving season because of the constant questions surrounding the gifts. I’d really rather not have the crap anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think giving gifts to adults is stupid. You’re old enough to buy what you want, so do so.

We stopped gifts for anyone graduated from college and it’s been SO nice! We enjoy watching the kids open them and just enjoy the holiday. No stressing over what to get 8 different grown-ass adults or spending money on useless junk that they’ll probably toss or donate.

+1. Just stop, OP. He’s a grown up now. Just enjoy the holidays together as a family with a nice meal or something.

No more adults buying other adults presents in 2020 (unless in a romantic partnership).

If that works for you sure. Really tired of people trying to dictate this for other families. People, not just children enjoy celebrating and gift

What is sad to me is that this 26 year old has clearly never experienced the joy of giving. I blame his parents, including OP’s husband.

My kids (11 and 15, girls) give their grandparents gifts. If we are going to someone else’s home for an event, we always bring something. There has always been a discussion about thinking what the recipient will like and it is so awesome when you get someone the right gift (regardless of price).

My kids get a lot of what they want in life, but what they value does not always have the highest price tag. A gift I give my mom almost every year is figuring out for her what my kids will love so that she can give it to them and see that expression of surprise and joy. Sometimes that is a $20 gift and sometimes it is $80. We do not encourage extravagant gifts. My kids want to be able to give gifts that bring joy as much as they want to receive gifts.

Yes, the step son should recognize his obligation to be an adult, but even if he does this is sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I was “gifting” adults in my family starting as a kid...small handmade stuff, whatever. I “gifted” my grands, aunts, uncles, parents, all along. WTH people, most of you are raising selfish heathens if they don’t find great pleasure in finding the perfect gift for their beloved grandparent, stepparent, aunt, uncle, etc.. y’all should be ashamed of yourselves condoning selfish juvenile behavior in anybody. And at 26 he can handle it from anyone including a stepparent who has put up with this for And is entitled to basic courtesy.

Same here. We loved making little gifts as kids and the adults would make a big show of admiring the drawing or card we made. When we were a little older, our parents would help us - like my mother was giving her sister a fancy, new coffee grinder and my gift would be a bag of coffee beans. We weren’t extravagant with our gifting in my family, but the giving was (and still is) joyful.

That’s nice, but it has nothing to do with the traditions in OP’s husband’s family. All we know is that OP disapproves of SS.

Were 14 pages in and loads of people have shared what they do in their families. On what planet to threads stay 100% on the OP's topic around here?

The first commenter above called the SS “selfish and juvenile” for not being like her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I was “gifting” adults in my family starting as a kid...small handmade stuff, whatever. I “gifted” my grands, aunts, uncles, parents, all along. WTH people, most of you are raising selfish heathens if they don’t find great pleasure in finding the perfect gift for their beloved grandparent, stepparent, aunt, uncle, etc.. y’all should be ashamed of yourselves condoning selfish juvenile behavior in anybody. And at 26 he can handle it from anyone including a stepparent who has put up with this for And is entitled to basic courtesy.

Same here. We loved making little gifts as kids and the adults would make a big show of admiring the drawing or card we made. When we were a little older, our parents would help us - like my mother was giving her sister a fancy, new coffee grinder and my gift would be a bag of coffee beans. We weren’t extravagant with our gifting in my family, but the giving was (and still is) joyful.

That’s nice, but it has nothing to do with the traditions in OP’s husband’s family. All we know is that OP disapproves of SS.

Were 14 pages in and loads of people have shared what they do in their families. On what planet to threads stay 100% on the OP's topic around here?

Anonymous wrote:I think giving gifts to adults is stupid. You’re old enough to buy what you want, so do so.

We stopped gifts for anyone graduated from college and it’s been SO nice! We enjoy watching the kids open them and just enjoy the holiday. No stressing over what to get 8 different grown-ass adults or spending money on useless junk that they’ll probably toss or donate.

+1. Just stop, OP. He’s a grown up now. Just enjoy the holidays together as a family with a nice meal or something.

No more adults buying other adults presents in 2020 (unless in a romantic partnership).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I was “gifting” adults in my family starting as a kid...small handmade stuff, whatever. I “gifted” my grands, aunts, uncles, parents, all along. WTH people, most of you are raising selfish heathens if they don’t find great pleasure in finding the perfect gift for their beloved grandparent, stepparent, aunt, uncle, etc.. y’all should be ashamed of yourselves condoning selfish juvenile behavior in anybody. And at 26 he can handle it from anyone including a stepparent who has put up with this for And is entitled to basic courtesy.

Same here. We loved making little gifts as kids and the adults would make a big show of admiring the drawing or card we made. When we were a little older, our parents would help us - like my mother was giving her sister a fancy, new coffee grinder and my gift would be a bag of coffee beans. We weren’t extravagant with our gifting in my family, but the giving was (and still is) joyful.

That’s nice, but it has nothing to do with the traditions in OP’s husband’s family. All we know is that OP disapproves of SS.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I was “gifting” adults in my family starting as a kid...small handmade stuff, whatever. I “gifted” my grands, aunts, uncles, parents, all along. WTH people, most of you are raising selfish heathens if they don’t find great pleasure in finding the perfect gift for their beloved grandparent, stepparent, aunt, uncle, etc.. y’all should be ashamed of yourselves condoning selfish juvenile behavior in anybody. And at 26 he can handle it from anyone including a stepparent who has put up with this for And is entitled to basic courtesy.

Same here. We loved making little gifts as kids and the adults would make a big show of admiring the drawing or card we made. When we were a little older, our parents would help us - like my mother was giving her sister a fancy, new coffee grinder and my gift would be a bag of coffee beans. We weren’t extravagant with our gifting in my family, but the giving was (and still is) joyful.

Anonymous wrote:I can not stand women who expect gifts and thank you cards. It really kills the whole purpose behind both things.

So if a man had posted, you'd be OK with it? Sexist much?

I can not stand women who expect gifts and thank you cards. It really kills the whole purpose behind both things.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I was “gifting” adults in my family starting as a kid...small handmade stuff, whatever. I “gifted” my grands, aunts, uncles, parents, all along. WTH people, most of you are raising selfish heathens if they don’t find great pleasure in finding the perfect gift for their beloved grandparent, stepparent, aunt, uncle, etc.. y’all should be ashamed of yourselves condoning selfish juvenile behavior in anybody. And at 26 he can handle it from anyone including a stepparent who has put up with this for And is entitled to basic courtesy.

That’s a lot of gifts! We have cut back substantially on presents due to much of it ending up in landfills and donation piles.

Wow. I was “gifting” adults in my family starting as a kid...small handmade stuff, whatever. I “gifted” my grands, aunts, uncles, parents, all along. WTH people, most of you are raising selfish heathens if they don’t find great pleasure in finding the perfect gift for their beloved grandparent, stepparent, aunt, uncle, etc.. y’all should be ashamed of yourselves condoning selfish juvenile behavior in anybody. And at 26 he can handle it from anyone including a stepparent who has put up with this for And is entitled to basic courtesy.