Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Agree: any normal man in a sexless marriage will definitely cheat or divorce. Consider that 20% of marriages are estimated to be sexless (and, obviously, NOT divorced) and this accounts for lots of cheating husbands. In fact, compare this with the estimates of married men who cheat: also about 20%. Clearly this is THE SAME 20% group of men. So it’s NOT rare at all for a cheating man to also be in a sexless marriage. Look at the numbers. Very few men who aren’t in sexless marriages are cheaters.

Man here, and you just aren't dealing with stats. First off, there is no way it's only 20% of married men who cheat. Maybe at any given moment, but its much higher, some stats are as high as 70% but even if its half, then a big chunk of men who are having marital sex are cheating.

So of course a sexless marriage is going to raise the chances of cheating exponentially and a marriage with great sex is going to lower the chances, but surely you know men who are getting it at home and on the road as well. It's basic temptation for variety as well.

Yes, in fact I am dealing with stats. Just google "what percentage of married men cheat" and then google "what percentage of marriages are sexless" That is my source.

Where do you get YOUR stats: reply with links/citations. Otherwise, YOU are not dealing with stats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Agree: any normal man in a sexless marriage will definitely cheat or divorce. Consider that 20% of marriages are estimated to be sexless (and, obviously, NOT divorced) and this accounts for lots of cheating husbands. In fact, compare this with the estimates of married men who cheat: also about 20%. Clearly this is THE SAME 20% group of men. So it’s NOT rare at all for a cheating man to also be in a sexless marriage. Look at the numbers. Very few men who aren’t in sexless marriages are cheaters.

Please define sexless

The commonly accepted clinical definition is < 1 per month. But I personally would consider < 1 per week to be a sexless marriage. Basically, if your normal needs are not being met, that is effectively a sexless marriage. Here is how to know: are you (usually) rejecting your partner's advance? That is a sexless marriage.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like these posts really peak around the holidays.are people just slippy about their affairs around Christmas?

1) Wives are more likely to notice that DHs suddenly have to run an errand or make a business phone call.
2) OW feel lonely or daydream what the holidays could be like.
3) H’s didn’t get what they really wanted for Christmas and want to “treat” themselves.

My dad had a secret second family for eight years. My mom actually found out because of a toy purchase receipt. My dad never did the holiday shopping for us and the purchase was a much higher amount than he would have authorized for us. She confronted him. To this day, I think he left it out on purpose so he’d get caught and could spend Christmas with his AP and their child. I know that sibling later wrote about that Christmas as the happiest of his childhood. He was so thrilled to have his dad on Christmas Day and not the following day. Only he learned on subsequent Christmases that Dad was not actually generous, good humored, or patient when he had to keep that up 365 days a year. Anyway, both sets of kids have very complex feelings about the holidays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Agree: any normal man in a sexless marriage will definitely cheat or divorce. Consider that 20% of marriages are estimated to be sexless (and, obviously, NOT divorced) and this accounts for lots of cheating husbands. In fact, compare this with the estimates of married men who cheat: also about 20%. Clearly this is THE SAME 20% group of men. So it’s NOT rare at all for a cheating man to also be in a sexless marriage. Look at the numbers. Very few men who aren’t in sexless marriages are cheaters.

Please define sexless

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Agree: any normal man in a sexless marriage will definitely cheat or divorce. Consider that 20% of marriages are estimated to be sexless (and, obviously, NOT divorced) and this accounts for lots of cheating husbands. In fact, compare this with the estimates of married men who cheat: also about 20%. Clearly this is THE SAME 20% group of men. So it’s NOT rare at all for a cheating man to also be in a sexless marriage. Look at the numbers. Very few men who aren’t in sexless marriages are cheaters.

Man here, and you just aren't dealing with stats. First off, there is no way it's only 20% of married men who cheat. Maybe at any given moment, but its much higher, some stats are as high as 70% but even if its half, then a big chunk of men who are having marital sex are cheating.

So of course a sexless marriage is going to raise the chances of cheating exponentially and a marriage with great sex is going to lower the chances, but surely you know men who are getting it at home and on the road as well. It's basic temptation for variety as well.

Anonymous wrote:Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Agree: any normal man in a sexless marriage will definitely cheat or divorce. Consider that 20% of marriages are estimated to be sexless (and, obviously, NOT divorced) and this accounts for lots of cheating husbands. In fact, compare this with the estimates of married men who cheat: also about 20%. Clearly this is THE SAME 20% group of men. So it’s NOT rare at all for a cheating man to also be in a sexless marriage. Look at the numbers. Very few men who aren’t in sexless marriages are cheaters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

I know you are going to scoff, but he isn't.

Listen if he will cheat with you he will cheat on you.

THOTS DONT CARE!!

Let the name calling begin. Sorry, I'm pages too late.

He can't cheat on me. We aren't exclusive. But he isn't having sex with his wife.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. This thread is gold. I had no idea some women were so dumb.

We had a acquaintance who cheated on his wife because the wife wouldn't give him blow jobs, she hated them. She was having sex with him but he just wanted fellatio so he found his side piece, told her the sob story at home ie my horrible wife won't sleep with me and got what he wanted. Did that for a few years, got it out of his system and now he is still with his wife. They are raising their kids, he couldn't be bothered running after anyone else anymore. They had a DADT set up.

I'm sure the side pieces believed all his story while they sucked away, the wife probably happy she didn't have to do it, so in the end all worked out well. I think in that case the wife was more than happy to outsource, so it does work in this situation.

Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Yes, of course it happens. But other cheating men are more turned on and aroused in general when having an affair and they discharge some of that in a variety of places, including with their wife. He is going to share this voluntarily with his ap? Not likely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

I know you are going to scoff, but he isn't.

Listen if he will cheat with you he will cheat on you.

THOTS DONT CARE!!

Let the name calling begin. Sorry, I'm pages too late.

He can't cheat on me. We aren't exclusive. But he isn't having sex with his wife.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. This thread is gold. I had no idea some women were so dumb.

We had a acquaintance who cheated on his wife because the wife wouldn't give him blow jobs, she hated them. She was having sex with him but he just wanted fellatio so he found his side piece, told her the sob story at home ie my horrible wife won't sleep with me and got what he wanted. Did that for a few years, got it out of his system and now he is still with his wife. They are raising their kids, he couldn't be bothered running after anyone else anymore. They had a DADT set up.

I'm sure the side pieces believed all his story while they sucked away, the wife probably happy she didn't have to do it, so in the end all worked out well. I think in that case the wife was more than happy to outsource, so it does work in this situation.

Some men really are not sleeping with their wives. There are truly sexless marriages. People will put up with a lot of suffering for their kids. I know. I have been married a decade. We have had 8 years total of complete sex drought. We are divorcing for other reasons, but the sexlessness did not help. I am a woman. I know of women who punish their husband by withholding sex...they are not sleeping with their wives....if a man is normal, he will cheat or divorce. Many prefer cheating to divorce due to kids. My situation is that the marriage was always wrong and low T. But do not overlook that some men really do not have sex with their wives. It is rare but if happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It feels good to be desired. Someone is so into you that they are willing to risk it all. Excitement, lust, being chosen sexually over someone else.

All the good parts without any of the baggage.

Like love and commitment? Wow.

Can't you get this with someone who isn't a dirty cheater? Someone who also cares about you?

I did.

No. Monogamous relationships are boring, predictable, safe, tiresome. The desire leaves and you are left lying next to a snoring, farting man child.

You can keep that. I get the good part.

Uh, you're still next to a snoring, farting man child. (If that's how you really want to describe half the humans on Earth.) He just kicks you out in the morning and goes home to his wife and kids.

Plus, I don't know how old you are, or what your childhood looked like (I'm guessing bad), but the desire doesn't leave. It changes, for people who love each other. It's not a bad thing for all of us.

The thing is YOU value that, the person you are responding to doesn't. She doesn't want the responsibility of being a wife or mom so what does she care that he leaves her to go home to his? She gets good but stolen moments, not the day in and day out drudgery. I can see how it might be appealing to someone who doesn't want to do the hard work of a relationship.

But they potentially hurt other people, the wife, the children, for their own selfish pleasure. Truly sh*tty. Someone like that deserves to be alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

Thanks for reminding us that humans are complex beings and not everything is black or white.

motives may not be black and white but the fact that this person is a willing cheater is lousy. That is black and white.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

I know you are going to scoff, but he isn't.

Listen if he will cheat with you he will cheat on you.

THOTS DONT CARE!!

Let the name calling begin. Sorry, I'm pages too late.

He can't cheat on me. We aren't exclusive. But he isn't having sex with his wife.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. This thread is gold. I had no idea some women were so dumb.

We had a acquaintance who cheated on his wife because the wife wouldn't give him blow jobs, she hated them. She was having sex with him but he just wanted fellatio so he found his side piece, told her the sob story at home ie my horrible wife won't sleep with me and got what he wanted. Did that for a few years, got it out of his system and now he is still with his wife. They are raising their kids, he couldn't be bothered running after anyone else anymore. They had a DADT set up.

I'm sure the side pieces believed all his story while they sucked away, the wife probably happy she didn't have to do it, so in the end all worked out well. I think in that case the wife was more than happy to outsource, so it does work in this situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married.

I wish I had taken a different path and just settled for being a side piece. Sounds fun. No mess. And a lot less stress than being married.

I am a single, independent adult who is tired of all the whiny married people on this site. No one is making you stay married. Either own the fact that the pros make up for the cons (in your accounting of things ) or get divorced.

The alternative is to make everyone around you miserable for years.

Omg the stupidity is strong with this one. I'll come to a relationships thread and complain about people asking questions about their marriages on a parenting forum.

No one is forcing you to read this forum, you are single and independent, go chase some D, because your stupidity is making us miserable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The wining and dining are also pretty fun. I have a very nice collection of some fine wines.

You know there’s literally a word for selling sex for expensive stuff right?

Wine this gets funnier by the post, so cheap, is that all it takes. He scored with this one.

Seriously. I was the OW for a very brief period (I didn't know and broke up with him as soon as I found out) and he gifted me david yurman pave diamonds earrings and a tiffany t bracelet.

And you didn't find it weird that he was buying sex off you. Did you ever feel like a prostitute because normal dating doesn't include guys buying those things, maybe a meal and that's it. It's like with sugar daddies they buy stuff for the college girls in return for sex.

Do you look back and feel good about yourself over this? Do you feel proud you got those things? Or do you not equate it with him buying you? Do you then not care if you are bought for sex? Is this how the younger generation of women date now, transactional?

Just stop it. Sugar daddies are nothing new

And neither are hookers, no matter how you dress it up in fancy terms.

Oh so we all do agree on one thing then, dating like this is a form of prostitution. Got it because although it's nothing new it never use to be called prostitution dating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a side piece. Part self esteem issues. Part anger issues (AP is my side piece). Part sexual attraction. Part gullible. Part wishful thinking. Part pure selfishness.

So you don't care that he's intimate with his wife or SO or anybody else?

I know you are going to scoff, but he isn't.

Listen if he will cheat with you he will cheat on you.

THOTS DONT CARE!!

Let the name calling begin. Sorry, I'm pages too late.

He can't cheat on me. We aren't exclusive. But he isn't having sex with his wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The meanest and most bitter people on this thread are the wives. Makes perfect sense. Lol

How do you know who’s a wife and who’s not?

You can absolutely tell.

Especially when you really have no way of knowing, but make assumptions that reinforce your existing biases.

Funny how that works.

^^ wife

Lol, exactly