Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever recharge their sex life? Wife complains I do not initiate enough, but every time I do I am shot done. Less than once a month here and never on birthdays and not on our last anniversary. I plan dates and put the time in, but don't see any movement from her. We have had the sex talk for a number of years, but it is always the same result. She says she is interested and wants more, but we never click anymore. sex was great when dating and died even before we had kids.

I don't know why but the expectation of sex on birthdays and anniversaries annoys me.

Probably you just resent the expectation. This happens to me with non-sexual things reasonably often -- like, say, I was going to take the trash out, barely even thinking about it; but if, before I do it, my wife says "don't forget the trash." Now, suddenly, I resent the trash a little bit.

Yes, you are right, that is exactly why. Being expected to have and want sex is the issue. Regardless of whether I want it or enjoy it or love it or hate it or don't want it or just would rather have had sex yesterday and tomorrow but not today.

Taking out the trash is not an appropriate analogy. Nobody (ever!) enjoys taking out the trash. It's not supposed to be a mutually fun/pleasurable activity, even at the start of a brand new relationship.

A more fitting analogy would be "talking" or "being nice" or "showing respect" since these are the kinds of things that people who love each other do with ease and pleasure at the start of a relationship. To put this all together then: I resent the expectation of being nice to my wife on birthdays and anniversaries. That is a fair comparison to what PP said.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever recharge their sex life? Wife complains I do not initiate enough, but every time I do I am shot done. Less than once a month here and never on birthdays and not on our last anniversary. I plan dates and put the time in, but don't see any movement from her. We have had the sex talk for a number of years, but it is always the same result. She says she is interested and wants more, but we never click anymore. sex was great when dating and died even before we had kids.

I don't know why but the expectation of sex on birthdays and anniversaries annoys me.

Probably you just resent the expectation. This happens to me with non-sexual things reasonably often -- like, say, I was going to take the trash out, barely even thinking about it; but if, before I do it, my wife says "don't forget the trash." Now, suddenly, I resent the trash a little bit.

Yes, you are right, that is exactly why. Being expected to have and want sex is the issue. Regardless of whether I want it or enjoy it or love it or hate it or don't want it or just would rather have had sex yesterday and tomorrow but not today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever recharge their sex life? Wife complains I do not initiate enough, but every time I do I am shot done. Less than once a month here and never on birthdays and not on our last anniversary. I plan dates and put the time in, but don't see any movement from her. We have had the sex talk for a number of years, but it is always the same result. She says she is interested and wants more, but we never click anymore. sex was great when dating and died even before we had kids.

I don't know why but the expectation of sex on birthdays and anniversaries annoys me.

I don't know why, but a person who is in a sexually exclusive relationship using the derogatory phrase "expectation of sex" annoys me.

To the sexless PP: have one final sex talk with her. Find out if she really IS interested in sex enough to schedule this on a reliable (couple times/week) basis. If she declines, I would discourage you from continuing to try having sex with a woman who does not actually want it. That's very unpleasant for both of you! Instead, ask if she prefers to get divorced or give you a permanent hall pass. Best to decisively solve this problem (one way or another) right away. The alternative will be a slow orbit of the marital toilet bowl, replete with disgusting sounds and smells, before the inevitable flush.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever recharge their sex life? Wife complains I do not initiate enough, but every time I do I am shot done. Less than once a month here and never on birthdays and not on our last anniversary. I plan dates and put the time in, but don't see any movement from her. We have had the sex talk for a number of years, but it is always the same result. She says she is interested and wants more, but we never click anymore. sex was great when dating and died even before we had kids.

I don't know why but the expectation of sex on birthdays and anniversaries annoys me.

Probably you just resent the expectation. This happens to me with non-sexual things reasonably often -- like, say, I was going to take the trash out, barely even thinking about it; but if, before I do it, my wife says "don't forget the trash." Now, suddenly, I resent the trash a little bit.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone ever recharge their sex life? Wife complains I do not initiate enough, but every time I do I am shot done. Less than once a month here and never on birthdays and not on our last anniversary. I plan dates and put the time in, but don't see any movement from her. We have had the sex talk for a number of years, but it is always the same result. She says she is interested and wants more, but we never click anymore. sex was great when dating and died even before we had kids.

I don't know why but the expectation of sex on birthdays and anniversaries annoys me.

Children do suffer from broken homes.
Don't kid yourselves.

Anyone ever recharge their sex life? Wife complains I do not initiate enough, but every time I do I am shot done. Less than once a month here and never on birthdays and not on our last anniversary. I plan dates and put the time in, but don't see any movement from her. We have had the sex talk for a number of years, but it is always the same result. She says she is interested and wants more, but we never click anymore. sex was great when dating and died even before we had kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

Omg me too! I’ve never really thought about it like this but it’s true! I’m the same way.

And you both lack imagination if you think this is a reason not to have sex more than once a week.

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

Omg me too! I’ve never really thought about it like this but it’s true! I’m the same way.

When I joined a bunko group it was the same thing. Most said they prayed for ED, or slipping on a banana peel.

Read the posts on here from many of the men, why their wives can't stand them and real reason it's SEXLESS.

The ones with kids who aren't putting them first are the real losers.

Again: why men shouldn't get married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

In other words, it's your world and we're just living in it.

Well you don't really think husbands should be pressuring their wives into sex they don't want, do you?

Well yeah, sex is what you signed up for when you agreed to marry the man.

But you are making a fine argument for why men shouldn't get married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

Wtf kind of weird reasoning is this??? Even my worst orgasm was pretty great, why would I deprive myself

I disagree with the PP that this is a rationale for not having some sexy time with her DH frequently. But I can totally see the idea of holding off on small, pleasant orgasms for awhile if holding out for a few days gives her mind blowing orgasms. That part makes sense to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm convinced that womens' book groups are really just an excuse for 8-10 women to share their newest ideas on how to avoid having sex with their spouses. I rarely see my wife reading a book, she always has excuses and she has a monthly book group meeting. I can connect the dots!

I don’t think they read either. My wife hosted one and they spent most of the time complaining about their husbands.

Yup - I overheard a women’s group one time chatting about regular day to day stuff and that eventually lead to complaining about their DHs. Mind you this wasn’t a group of close gal pals - this was a networking style group. I was pretty surprised at how open they were about sharing their distaste for their DHs

When I joined a bunko group it was the same thing. Most said they prayed for ED, or slipping on a banana peel.

Read the posts on here from many of the men, why their wives can't stand them and real reason it's SEXLESS.

The ones with kids who aren't putting them first are the real losers.

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

Let him edge you, and you take him over the edge. I'm sure most women would agree that there are lots of ways for a woman to not have an orgasm while a dude has one.

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I wanted to mention something you men may not have thought of. I honestly only want to have sex once a week and here's why. I've found that my orgasms are WAY more intense the longer I go in between. On a once a week basis, they are toe curling/back arching/practically medicinal in how they improve my mood and release stress.

But they get less intense the more frequently they occur. So I feel that paradoxically, the sex is way better the less frequently it occurs. You can go too far in the opposite direction too though. Less than once a week and sometimes it can feel awkward. Once a week is the perfect amount.

Your wives may have found the same. Just something to think about.

Wtf kind of weird reasoning is this??? Even my worst orgasm was pretty great, why would I deprive myself