I don't GAF about anyone's engagement ring. I didn't want one at all. I told my now-husband that I would rather take a trip with that money and we did. It's just my opinion, but I don't think that a woman's value should be reduced to the size, quality, and perceived cost of her engagement ring. I also think it's risky to be walking around wearing something on my hand that costs thousands or tens of thousands of dollars. But that's just my personal opinion. I don't notice or care what others do regarding engagement rings.

I don't tend to judge people based on appearance but I am turned off out by a lot of flashy wealth and sometimes a ring is part of that.

My engagement ring diamond is pretty small. It's .75 but it looks more like .5 because it's an old diamond (heirloom) with an old cut. My husband and I got married when we were college students and had a negative net worth. I used money my dad gifted me to buy the band.

It never occurred to me that someone would judge my husband for it. Maybe I need to go out and get a bigger diamond! Lol can you imagine?

I don't judge. Then again my diamond is a little less than a carat but it was my great grandmother's and then my grandmother's and she passed it on to me. When DH and I were talking about rings, I was very clear I wanted that as a solitaire and that was it. We are well off and DH is a better husband and dad than 99% of what I see on this board. So I don't really care if you judge me.

My best friend has a beautiful 4 carat ring and gets judged a ton. So I think the judging goes both ways.

Nowadays there are huge rocks all over the place, thanks to the affordability of moissanite.

I judge huge, cloudy diamonds. They're so performative, and they tell me you think everyone else is too stupid to notice.

Anonymous wrote:I do.

Sometimes when I see a woman with a tiny diamond I wonder how cheap her husband must be to not bother to get her something nicer.

The larger the diamond the more I think her husband wanted to impress her/ show his love. Also that he’s rich.

I do but in the opposite ways of you.

If I see a tiny diamond I wonder about her wealth of course but also think maybe she's not very materialistic, which is a good thing in my eyes.

If I see a large diamond I also wonder about her wealth but wonder if she is a diva or materialistic or overly concerned with status.

I judge everyone's taste depending on the setting and stone. I get a read on if they are basic or interesting, have any individual taste, whether they are sheep or have personality, how active or non-active they may be, etc. same as judging overall appearance.

In my opinion it is most tasteful to have a good quality antique or hand me down ring with a modest size gem or have an artisan crafted ring or something simple and not flashy like a band. Nothing that looks like it came off an assembly line or trying to look bigger than it is.

Anonymous wrote:No. Size of diamond has more to do with how old the groom was at engagement. The big diamonds are usually from the geriatrics.

Yeah, because we can afford it. My emerald cut diamond is over five carats.

I don’t because I know it’s meaningless… it could be fake, it could be sentiment, it could be other values…

I have a massive ring that I get compliments and comments on all the time. But it’s an heirloom, so my husband paid $0.

I do judge, but I look at the whole look/environment too. I have been judged on my ring before. Mine is a 9ct yellow sapphire set in 18ct yellow and white gold. It's part family heirloom/part reset. I did not wear it much in my 20s but now in my 40s I am enjoying it daily on my right hand. My wedding band is a Cartier Trinity Classic.

Anonymous wrote:Seriously?! Why would anyone even think of judging someone's degree of love for their spouse on the basis of an engagement ring?

You realize you are on DCUM, right?
Judging others is the favorite pastime in the DC area.
It's actually sad.

Anonymous wrote:If I see a woman step out of her BMW SUV and she's wearing a tiny diamond, I automatically like her because I figure that she's sentimentally attached to that stone, and also that they made their money themselves and have been together a long time. So she's probably a nice person who has good priorities and knows the value of money.

(I have a small stone but that's because we're still not rich! Love my ring, though.)

I also make those assumptions about small diamonds!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do.

Sometimes when I see a woman with a tiny diamond I wonder how cheap her husband must be to not bot

her to get her something nicer.

The larger the diamond the more I think her husband wanted to impress her/ show his love. Also that he’s rich.

I judge people with big diamonds because now I wonder who they exploited to get that diamond. Who did it hurt? I don't have a big one but, I regret getting it now I know more.

So, I am judging you for being so shallow.

I mean...smaller diamonds can also be blood diamonds. Do you still wear yours?

Did you miss the part where I say I regret getting one at all? I judge myself just as harshly.

I have silently judged teeeeeeeeny tiny diamonds in the past. I have a 1 carat center stone. If my option was teeny tiny diamond or no diamond I would go with just a nice band.

I am a woman and don’t wear my engagement or wedding band at all.

I do a lot of outdoor work, and it is a hazard potentially getting caught in stuff. Only a complete idiot would think we don’t have money.

If I see a woman step out of her BMW SUV and she's wearing a tiny diamond, I automatically like her because I figure that she's sentimentally attached to that stone, and also that they made their money themselves and have been together a long time. So she's probably a nice person who has good priorities and knows the value of money.

(I have a small stone but that's because we're still not rich! Love my ring, though.)