Anonymous
12/20/2017 11:55
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.
No, it's really not commonplace at all. It may be in your culture, but I've never heard of it where I'm from, and I'm not from the "small, entitled world of DCUM." Also I note that you steadfastly refuse to address any of the other boundary-crossing done by the MIL, nor the fact that it's perfectly OK to say to someone, "You know, I really don't like that name. Could you please pick another?" In NORMAL HEALTHY relationships, that's ok. The fact that you think she's going to somehow destroy the relationship by not wanting another woman to be called "mama" says more about your passivity and lack of agency than it does about love and family.
Nope. I just don't have to have all things my way all the time. I have enough self esteem that I don't worry about someone else getting what they want regardless of my opinion of it. Notice that I have not once said WHAT on earth I think about the name. But I'm steadfast in saying it just isn't worth the fight because I get my self worth from me and not from the power that I try to wield over other people.
The kid will know the difference between the two people just as someone else pointed out that the child of a lesbian couple knows the difference between Mommy and Momma.
Oh, and, Ms. Reading Comprehension, obviously I'm from the mid-west.
I'm the poster who made the point about the lesbian and bisexual couples in my circle usually ending up with Mommy and Mama.
I agree with you that the baby knows the difference between the two individuals who are Mommy and Mama. BUT that is different from the point you are trying to make with my example. Mommy and Mama are the same "level" of parent with the same relationship to the child: mother.
Mama and "Big Mama" are NOT the same relationship, and are not the same "level" of person to the child. I think what upsets the OP is that she thinks her MIL is trying to make it seem like the relationship/level of Mama and Grandma are the same by using "Mama" instead of "Grandma" or any of the standard grandmother names.
--Also a Midwesterne
And we are saying that personal preference aside Mama Grace is a standard Gramma name even if it is new to you. You may not like it, may not want it used, but it is not something new she pulled out of her ass.
Anonymous
12/20/2017 11:54
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:I think the MIL said she wanted to be called Mama X so that when the first thing the baby says is “Mama” she will tell everyone DIL included, that the baby is talking about her, not the baby referring to it’s mother. I think it’s totally reasonable for the Mother to be mama until the baby settles on calling her mommy, mom, etc. Don’t let MIL take that away from her (and the child.) go by initials, Mima, Grandma, etc. for now.
Ok. you've made this point about baby's first words many times now. We get it.
Anonymous
12/20/2017 11:53
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.
No, it's really not commonplace at all. It may be in your culture, but I've never heard of it where I'm from, and I'm not from the "small, entitled world of DCUM." Also I note that you steadfastly refuse to address any of the other boundary-crossing done by the MIL, nor the fact that it's perfectly OK to say to someone, "You know, I really don't like that name. Could you please pick another?" In NORMAL HEALTHY relationships, that's ok. The fact that you think she's going to somehow destroy the relationship by not wanting another woman to be called "mama" says more about your passivity and lack of agency than it does about love and family.
Nope. I just don't have to have all things my way all the time. I have enough self esteem that I don't worry about someone else getting what they want regardless of my opinion of it. Notice that I have not once said WHAT on earth I think about the name. But I'm steadfast in saying it just isn't worth the fight because I get my self worth from me and not from the power that I try to wield over other people.
The kid will know the difference between the two people just as someone else pointed out that the child of a lesbian couple knows the difference between Mommy and Momma.
Oh, and, Ms. Reading Comprehension, obviously I'm from the mid-west.
I forgot where it was that you, in all your midwest wisdom, got to decide what bothers people and what doesn't? Even if OP were being a little silly about this (and I don't think she is, btw) she has a right to tell this to her MIL and be heard and respected.
DP, there is a difference between stating a preference and acting like the issue is a life altering, world ending big ass deal, which is what you and OP are acting like.
Anonymous
12/20/2017 10:28
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.
No, it's really not commonplace at all. It may be in your culture, but I've never heard of it where I'm from, and I'm not from the "small, entitled world of DCUM." Also I note that you steadfastly refuse to address any of the other boundary-crossing done by the MIL, nor the fact that it's perfectly OK to say to someone, "You know, I really don't like that name. Could you please pick another?" In NORMAL HEALTHY relationships, that's ok. The fact that you think she's going to somehow destroy the relationship by not wanting another woman to be called "mama" says more about your passivity and lack of agency than it does about love and family.
Nope. I just don't have to have all things my way all the time. I have enough self esteem that I don't worry about someone else getting what they want regardless of my opinion of it. Notice that I have not once said WHAT on earth I think about the name. But I'm steadfast in saying it just isn't worth the fight because I get my self worth from me and not from the power that I try to wield over other people.
The kid will know the difference between the two people just as someone else pointed out that the child of a lesbian couple knows the difference between Mommy and Momma.
Oh, and, Ms. Reading Comprehension, obviously I'm from the mid-west.
I'm the poster who made the point about the lesbian and bisexual couples in my circle usually ending up with Mommy and Mama.
I agree with you that the baby knows the difference between the two individuals who are Mommy and Mama. BUT that is different from the point you are trying to make with my example. Mommy and Mama are the same "level" of parent with the same relationship to the child: mother.
Mama and "Big Mama" are NOT the same relationship, and are not the same "level" of person to the child. I think what upsets the OP is that she thinks her MIL is trying to make it seem like the relationship/level of Mama and Grandma are the same by using "Mama" instead of "Grandma" or any of the standard grandmother names.
--Also a Midwesterne
Anonymous
12/20/2017 09:36
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
I’d be annoyed too. And I’d also understand that it’s kind of silly, but still be annoyed.
I would just kind of brush it under the rug. Don’t agree to it, but don’t put a stop to it either. Just don’t make it a thing.
When your baby starts to talk just keep referring to her as grammy X.
I would just kind of brush it under the rug. Don’t agree to it, but don’t put a stop to it either. Just don’t make it a thing.
When your baby starts to talk just keep referring to her as grammy X.
Anonymous
12/19/2017 22:33
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.
No, it's really not commonplace at all. It may be in your culture, but I've never heard of it where I'm from, and I'm not from the "small, entitled world of DCUM." Also I note that you steadfastly refuse to address any of the other boundary-crossing done by the MIL, nor the fact that it's perfectly OK to say to someone, "You know, I really don't like that name. Could you please pick another?" In NORMAL HEALTHY relationships, that's ok. The fact that you think she's going to somehow destroy the relationship by not wanting another woman to be called "mama" says more about your passivity and lack of agency than it does about love and family.
Nope. I just don't have to have all things my way all the time. I have enough self esteem that I don't worry about someone else getting what they want regardless of my opinion of it. Notice that I have not once said WHAT on earth I think about the name. But I'm steadfast in saying it just isn't worth the fight because I get my self worth from me and not from the power that I try to wield over other people.
The kid will know the difference between the two people just as someone else pointed out that the child of a lesbian couple knows the difference between Mommy and Momma.
Oh, and, Ms. Reading Comprehension, obviously I'm from the mid-west.
I forgot where it was that you, in all your midwest wisdom, got to decide what bothers people and what doesn't? Even if OP were being a little silly about this (and I don't think she is, btw) she has a right to tell this to her MIL and be heard and respected.
Anonymous
12/19/2017 20:01
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.
No, it's really not commonplace at all. It may be in your culture, but I've never heard of it where I'm from, and I'm not from the "small, entitled world of DCUM." Also I note that you steadfastly refuse to address any of the other boundary-crossing done by the MIL, nor the fact that it's perfectly OK to say to someone, "You know, I really don't like that name. Could you please pick another?" In NORMAL HEALTHY relationships, that's ok. The fact that you think she's going to somehow destroy the relationship by not wanting another woman to be called "mama" says more about your passivity and lack of agency than it does about love and family.
Nope. I just don't have to have all things my way all the time. I have enough self esteem that I don't worry about someone else getting what they want regardless of my opinion of it. Notice that I have not once said WHAT on earth I think about the name. But I'm steadfast in saying it just isn't worth the fight because I get my self worth from me and not from the power that I try to wield over other people.
The kid will know the difference between the two people just as someone else pointed out that the child of a lesbian couple knows the difference between Mommy and Momma.
Oh, and, Ms. Reading Comprehension, obviously I'm from the mid-west.
THIS! THIS! THIS!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous
12/19/2017 19:59
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Mama Sags
Anonymous
12/19/2017 19:38
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
"Mama" is typically the first word the baby will say. I would never want anyone else in my child's family to use that term. Maybe some mothers would not care, but I would.
OP, just tell your MIL that she can pick a nick-name that is not a variation of mama, mommy, etc. Be firm in this. It is a very reasonable expectation that she would defer to your wishes.
OP, just tell your MIL that she can pick a nick-name that is not a variation of mama, mommy, etc. Be firm in this. It is a very reasonable expectation that she would defer to your wishes.
Anonymous
12/19/2017 19:02
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.
No, it's really not commonplace at all. It may be in your culture, but I've never heard of it where I'm from, and I'm not from the "small, entitled world of DCUM." Also I note that you steadfastly refuse to address any of the other boundary-crossing done by the MIL, nor the fact that it's perfectly OK to say to someone, "You know, I really don't like that name. Could you please pick another?" In NORMAL HEALTHY relationships, that's ok. The fact that you think she's going to somehow destroy the relationship by not wanting another woman to be called "mama" says more about your passivity and lack of agency than it does about love and family.
Nope. I just don't have to have all things my way all the time. I have enough self esteem that I don't worry about someone else getting what they want regardless of my opinion of it. Notice that I have not once said WHAT on earth I think about the name. But I'm steadfast in saying it just isn't worth the fight because I get my self worth from me and not from the power that I try to wield over other people.
The kid will know the difference between the two people just as someone else pointed out that the child of a lesbian couple knows the difference between Mommy and Momma.
Oh, and, Ms. Reading Comprehension, obviously I'm from the mid-west.
Maybe that would be some good advice for the MIL.
Anonymous
12/19/2017 18:44
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.
No, it's really not commonplace at all. It may be in your culture, but I've never heard of it where I'm from, and I'm not from the "small, entitled world of DCUM." Also I note that you steadfastly refuse to address any of the other boundary-crossing done by the MIL, nor the fact that it's perfectly OK to say to someone, "You know, I really don't like that name. Could you please pick another?" In NORMAL HEALTHY relationships, that's ok. The fact that you think she's going to somehow destroy the relationship by not wanting another woman to be called "mama" says more about your passivity and lack of agency than it does about love and family.
Nope. I just don't have to have all things my way all the time. I have enough self esteem that I don't worry about someone else getting what they want regardless of my opinion of it. Notice that I have not once said WHAT on earth I think about the name. But I'm steadfast in saying it just isn't worth the fight because I get my self worth from me and not from the power that I try to wield over other people.
The kid will know the difference between the two people just as someone else pointed out that the child of a lesbian couple knows the difference between Mommy and Momma.
Oh, and, Ms. Reading Comprehension, obviously I'm from the mid-west.
Anonymous
12/19/2017 18:33
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
Mama Jugs
Senior Mama (except pronounce it Senor Mama)
Anonymous
12/19/2017 18:10
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.
No, it's really not commonplace at all. It may be in your culture, but I've never heard of it where I'm from, and I'm not from the "small, entitled world of DCUM." Also I note that you steadfastly refuse to address any of the other boundary-crossing done by the MIL, nor the fact that it's perfectly OK to say to someone, "You know, I really don't like that name. Could you please pick another?" In NORMAL HEALTHY relationships, that's ok. The fact that you think she's going to somehow destroy the relationship by not wanting another woman to be called "mama" says more about your passivity and lack of agency than it does about love and family.
Anonymous
12/19/2017 18:09
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.
And by way of explanation, we DID do our very best to try to get the kids to call him "Granddad" because it was the name he really wanted. But one day I read our first one "Hop on Pop" and it happened to be the day after "Granddad" had babysat. My Mom said they were rough-housing in the living room with our little girl "falling" onto my Dad who was lying on the floor. They had a blast. Then I read the dang Dr. Seuss book to her the next day and it was all over. He was "Pop" from that day forward. Sigh.
Anonymous
12/19/2017 18:04
Subject: Mil wants to be called Mama X
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Why not just call her Big Mama instead
Or Old Mama. Or Big Old Mama.
And then she can call OP, Whiney Insecure Brat.
Where does it stop??? This is not a big deal. Let it go. Jeez. There are worse things that could happen then a MIL who has expressed a preference for a name that is pretty commonplace outside of the small, entitled world of DCUM.
If this is getting OP's fire going now, just wait until she gets into Labor & Delivery and experiences there the host of indignities childbirth brings on. The bottom line is that it is more important for the child to have a lot of warm, loving people around him/her. Sounds like the MIL wants to be involved. Let her be called what she wants.
Chances are the kid will call her something different anyway. Just ask my Dad who was dying to be called "Granddad" and he is called "Pop". My mom won't let that one down. She calls him "Soda", which confused the heck out of the kids for the longest time. Just a little mid-west humor, folks!
Get over your fine self, OP, and build a thicker skin. Your kid is counting on you to be more concerned about his/her best interests than yours.