Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Despite all of the accolades for TJ as a great public school, this thread suggests to me that the TJ parents are wildly insecure try hards. Listen guys - TJ is a cram school for Asain math and science kids. That's great. They test well, it's a very good education.

Exeter and St. Paul's and the other truly world class boarding schools are on another stratosphere.

Success in this country is not based on your SAT score.

Exactly!!

To make it to the true top in this country, this world, you need very specific social skills and leadership skills and that's what these TJ folks don't get. Life is not a meritocracy no matter how much immigrants and the granola types like to believe it is. At a certain point, it's all about who you are, who your connections are, where you went to schoo and sorry but, a free STEM-centric school in NOVA, even the "best" one in the country, isn't going to get most people even close to that world. There are exceptions, there are always exceptions, but the road to the top is rigged with societal pitfalls and social booby traps to catch up and ruin the kind who come from places like TJ. It's ugly but it's true. Your kid will have a much better shot if she or he learns this by going to school at a top Boarding school or Sidwell or STA/NCS type of top day school where they get schooled in it. I don't think it's necessarily right but I know it's true.

Just curious, but just what in your opinion is an example of being at "the top"? Does it involve a 60+ hour work week? Because I would much rather have my child work reasonable hours and have a nice, normal, middle class lifestyle then spend their life slaving away at work to be at the "top", no matter how much they might make.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can buy yourself a boarding school education (they love the rich donors), but you cannot buy yourself a TJ education. Everyone knows that. Your son will be respected for coming out of TJ...people will respect the vast wealth his parents must have amassed to get him into that great BS

This.

People outside of this area have never heard of TJ. The BS listed are much more widely known. Additionally, you child will get a wider, more well-rounded education at BS. I say BS all the way. This wouldn't even be something I'd deliberate over.

This isn't true. It is a well known school both within and outside of VA. I grew up in VA as far from TJ as you can get and still knew about it. It is frequently on the Best of lists.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hesitant to weigh in here since this thread has devolved, but I haven't seen anyone mention the actual value and benefits of the BS education. I went from a top public high school, all AP classes, to Andover and the difference was astounding - not just the grade level/difficulty but the enthusiasm and depth. Reading Shakespeare outside with a class of 12 on a beautiful New England spring day is memorable to me even with my 25th reunion coming up. Yes I got into HYP, and I found it a lot easier than my roommates who had not gone to prep school because I had already experienced a soul-crushing amount of homework at Andover, but the depth of study and the way we were pushed to learn and explore and think, not just study and memorize, was remarkable. My kids are in elementary school still but I have them at a progressive school in the hopes that they will learn to love learning, not just learn how to learn.

How does experiencing a soul-crushing amount of homework teach one to learn to love learning?

Hey, she got int HYP. Now she can teach her kids to have a love for learning.

So, that's how you measure? What a fool you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hesitant to weigh in here since this thread has devolved, but I haven't seen anyone mention the actual value and benefits of the BS education. I went from a top public high school, all AP classes, to Andover and the difference was astounding - not just the grade level/difficulty but the enthusiasm and depth. Reading Shakespeare outside with a class of 12 on a beautiful New England spring day is memorable to me even with my 25th reunion coming up. Yes I got into HYP, and I found it a lot easier than my roommates who had not gone to prep school because I had already experienced a soul-crushing amount of homework at Andover, but the depth of study and the way we were pushed to learn and explore and think, not just study and memorize, was remarkable. My kids are in elementary school still but I have them at a progressive school in the hopes that they will learn to love learning, not just learn how to learn.

How does experiencing a soul-crushing amount of homework teach one to learn to love learning?

Hey, she got int HYP. Now she can teach her kids to have a love for learning.

Anonymous wrote:Hesitant to weigh in here since this thread has devolved, but I haven't seen anyone mention the actual value and benefits of the BS education. I went from a top public high school, all AP classes, to Andover and the difference was astounding - not just the grade level/difficulty but the enthusiasm and depth. Reading Shakespeare outside with a class of 12 on a beautiful New England spring day is memorable to me even with my 25th reunion coming up. Yes I got into HYP, and I found it a lot easier than my roommates who had not gone to prep school because I had already experienced a soul-crushing amount of homework at Andover, but the depth of study and the way we were pushed to learn and explore and think, not just study and memorize, was remarkable. My kids are in elementary school still but I have them at a progressive school in the hopes that they will learn to love learning, not just learn how to learn.

How does experiencing a soul-crushing amount of homework teach one to learn to love learning?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I think it's funny, regardless of school, that people are counting on their kids' HS network to provide them with career opportunities.

Attending a top tier BS is a seal of approval of sorts, just as is a diploma from Yale or Williams or Princeton, or having attended St. Albans/NCS, Maret, Sidwell, etc. in DC. And attending TJ, in some circles I'm sure too. When a friend told me his DC got into Penn a few years ago but was considering a 2nd tier liberal arts school due to a big tuition discount, I wanted to fall all over myself (but didn't) to say of course kid should go to Penn --- both schools might provide a great education but the longstanding value of a Penn diploma, professionally and socially, is worth it in the long run.

School background may not matter if you're in the top 0.001% in Silicon Valley but elsewhere in the US it can certainly help === again, it's like a seal of approval.

A seal of approval? For what? Ok, sure I understand that for employers attending a top college serves as an indicator that someone might be a good employee - but high school? Seal of approval? Socially? What the hell year is this?

Anonymous wrote:TJ is largely for Asian strivers and some other ethnic kids. They are terrible at allowing blacks/hispanics in.

It's not that they are NOT allowing it. URMs simply don't perform at the same level as Asian/white kids.

TJ is largely for Asian strivers and some other ethnic kids. They are terrible at allowing blacks/hispanics in.

Anonymous wrote:TJ is great, but the alumni network for a top-tier BS is much bigger and more connected throughout the US. I've got kids at a big 3 and I've heard some of the high net worth people chatting about Andover and Exeter goings-on (they're alums). I expect TJ alums may do that but the network is probably much smaller. I'd also be interested in what the TJ alum participation % is at TJ (i.e., if donations are accepted from alums or what the percentage is of alums who return for TJ reunions). That would give some indication of how important the alumni network is considered to be among alums -- what the value is among TJ alums of being a fellow TJ alum. Top tier BS's have insanely high loyalty and participation numbers that are the envy of private day schools --- 40+ percent donate annually to their school.

Boarding school alumni are spread out over the country (and world). How would this type of network really benefit someone? I like the idea of my child making her lifelong friends in a place where they all have a connection and they would most likely see each other over the years when they go home to visit.

Anonymous wrote:Ok people are saying that one of the benefits of boarding school is that it allows a child to explore different interests, but won't that hurt them with colleges? For the past 10 years, the mantra has been "colleges are looking for lopsided applicants, not well rounded"." So how will giving them the opportunity to do everything help them in the long run (with colleges).

top tier colleges are actually looking for families with deep pockets and connections.

Ok people are saying that one of the benefits of boarding school is that it allows a child to explore different interests, but won't that hurt them with colleges? For the past 10 years, the mantra has been "colleges are looking for lopsided applicants, not well rounded"." So how will giving them the opportunity to do everything help them in the long run (with colleges).

This thread is purely a class argument: Middle (TJ parenst/alums and those who dont get Boarding School) and Upper (the pro Boarding school and private school) folks. That is pretty par for the course on DCUM.

20+ years ago both groups existed but they were just completely unaware of each other as they didnt cross paths in normal life. Our world has become smaller partly due to increased population and more largely due to the ubiquity of the Internet We have a window into others lives (those of a different class who make very different choices that we do) but most of us dont understand why everyone doesnt make the same choices we do. One of the most enduring class barriers, access to each other, is breaking down and you see it most clearly on Internet threads like this one. People who post on here with such widely disparate experiences rarely cross paths IRL and don't have much in common on a daily basis.


Basically, it all comes down to the classic, "If you don't get IT, you don't get it." In others words, it doesnt really matter because we all make our choices based on our own life experience and family background. Those choices are usually the right ones for our families and life goes on.

We will soon have one in TJ and one in BS (the child's choice and desire) so will find out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In other words - you could be surprised to find that boarding school parents spend more quality time with their kids than many other parents.

Two long weekends with your kid?!? Do tell!

two long week-ends
two parents' day weekends at the school
long Thanksgiving break
long winter break
long spring break
(the latter two being much longer than public schools).
And, out earlier for summer (school ends the Friday before Memorial day).

I don't have a problem with boarding school but do you really think this is the same as a child sleeping in his or her room every night and eating dinner with his or her parents every night?

Your kid being in the house has nothing to do with being a family. You probably cause more stress for your kids by constantly pushing and nagging your child. What a f'king idiot.

You sound mean. No wonder your kid prefers boarding school!

that's a different poster than me, above, who said my kid loves boarding school.

Re: the topic -- the best boarding schools or TJ, I'd let the kid choose. You can't go wrong either way and of course, 99% of the people dodn't have tghis choice anyway

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In other words - you could be surprised to find that boarding school parents spend more quality time with their kids than many other parents.

Two long weekends with your kid?!? Do tell!

two long week-ends
two parents' day weekends at the school
long Thanksgiving break
long winter break
long spring break
(the latter two being much longer than public schools).
And, out earlier for summer (school ends the Friday before Memorial day).

I don't have a problem with boarding school but do you really think this is the same as a child sleeping in his or her room every night and eating dinner with his or her parents every night?

Your kid being in the house has nothing to do with being a family. You probably cause more stress for your kids by constantly pushing and nagging your child. What a f'king idiot.

You sound mean. No wonder your kid prefers boarding school!