Michelle Singletary writes a personal finance column in The Washington Post and wrote a book called The 21 Day Financial Fast, which might work for you. (See if the library has it before you buy.) She also does workshops at her church, which is in the DC metro area. Check out her website, michellesingletary.com for more info and links to other resources.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem is the husband. He's acting like an ostrich and sticking his head in the sand about the debt problems. Sounds like op is the only one who is stressed about their financial instability.
OP, pp is right. You are at serious risk if your marriage goes south. You guys won't be able to run two households the way you are living now.

no - the DW is part of the problem. She is considering Smithsonian camps despite their debt issues.

Obviously they both suck. How else d o you explain all this debt?!

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem is the husband. He's acting like an ostrich and sticking his head in the sand about the debt problems. Sounds like op is the only one who is stressed about their financial instability.
OP, pp is right. You are at serious risk if your marriage goes south. You guys won't be able to run two households the way you are living now.

no - the DW is part of the problem. She is considering Smithsonian camps despite their debt issues.

I think the problem is the husband. He's acting like an ostrich and sticking his head in the sand about the debt problems. Sounds like op is the only one who is stressed about their financial instability.
OP, pp is right. You are at serious risk if your marriage goes south. You guys won't be able to run two households the way you are living now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check out mr money moustache.

I never got why anyone recommends that site. It reads like it should be named how to live dirt poor and be a millionaire. Someone on there once wrote he had two toilets. One he peed in all day and only flushed once a day, the other was his poop toilet which he lined with a garbage bag, used it then put in a dumpster. To save money on water. He had a wife and two kids living there also.

To OP, until you budget meaning write down needs vs. wants and pay down your debt, you will never be debt free. Your HHI is more than enough to handle your pay downs. Start with the small bills then tackle the larger ones. Get rid of that credit card until you get your debt under control.

You, husband, sit, figure, make it work. It's not that hard.

Good luck. If we can do it, you can.

That's funny about mmm. However I can see how reading the site could really help someone who has NO clue about finances or how to save money!

I don't know who you're talking about but it's not Mr. Money Mustache. He only has 1 kid and leads a pretty normal life, except for saving amazing amounts of money.

PP didn't say MMM did that, but rather a poster on his site did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the only long-term fix that will make a big dent is the mortgage. It's too high for your family. You need to be spending no more than $2000/month on the mortgage. There are two ways to get there - sacrifice space or location. Get a smaller place close-in to save commute or go out and deal with the commute. I know people in Manassas who take the train in and out daily.

I don't understand why your DH is so closed off to moving. It may not be ideal, but it's the most obvious solution. What is his plan for paying off the debt?

I agree with you. He doesn't want a longer commute. He sort of ignores the financial issues, to be honest. I am trying to figure it out.

How long is his commute now? People I know who live in loudoun county have 45 min commute each way on the loudoun county connector. There is wifi on the bus so you can work while commuting.

They have a 45-minute commute to where? Not the Capitol.

You're right, I'm wrong. Closer to an hour. My bad. https://www.loudoun.gov/DocumentCenter/View/111193.

Regardless, this is a shorter commute than I had when I lived in Arlington. Bus to Ballston. Then get on Metro. Then metro downtown. Then change trains and metro another stop or two. Then get back above ground and walk a few blocks. Huge PITA.

Anonymous wrote:Sent an email to Mr. Money Mustache detailing your debt! He (and his readers) will provide real, helpful advice.

And you can post it here?
Awesome, we'll see how close our advice was

Sent an email to Mr. Money Mustache detailing your debt! He (and his readers) will provide real, helpful advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check out mr money moustache.

I never got why anyone recommends that site. It reads like it should be named how to live dirt poor and be a millionaire. Someone on there once wrote he had two toilets. One he peed in all day and only flushed once a day, the other was his poop toilet which he lined with a garbage bag, used it then put in a dumpster. To save money on water. He had a wife and two kids living there also.

To OP, until you budget meaning write down needs vs. wants and pay down your debt, you will never be debt free. Your HHI is more than enough to handle your pay downs. Start with the small bills then tackle the larger ones. Get rid of that credit card until you get your debt under control.

You, husband, sit, figure, make it work. It's not that hard.

Good luck. If we can do it, you can.

That's funny about mmm. However I can see how reading the site could really help someone who has NO clue about finances or how to save money!

I don't know who you're talking about but it's not Mr. Money Mustache. He only has 1 kid and leads a pretty normal life, except for saving amazing amounts of money.

Anonymous wrote:Understanding that equity building and tax advantages are important, your current house isn't working for you right now anyway, so why not move to an apartment or rental house short-term, get yourself dug out, build up some savings, and buy again, a house that works better for all of you, when you're in a position to?

Selling the house isn't an option bc someone at some point told her that rent is wasted money and equity is sooo important without first telling her about the perils of debt. So the equity value she may (or may not) realize several decades from now when she sells far outweighs the quarter million in non-mortgage debt hanging over her.

Understanding that equity building and tax advantages are important, your current house isn't working for you right now anyway, so why not move to an apartment or rental house short-term, get yourself dug out, build up some savings, and buy again, a house that works better for all of you, when you're in a position to?

Anonymous wrote:OP I found you an apartment in Alexandria that's 1800 for a three bedroom. It has an express shuttle to the metro! This would allow you to get down to one car.

Reduction is housing cost 3400 - 1800 = 1600 savings
Cheaper utilities for an apt = 200 savings
One less car payment = 500 savings
One less gas and parking = 200 (at least) savings
One less parking (both take metros) = 200 savings
Quit childrens activities = 400
No takeout = 200
no dog walker = 100

Ok I'm up to 3,300 in savings.

There is a lot of bus lines in VA that go to Metro and the Pentagon direct. I live in Alexandria, so that is how I know this.

Bear in mind, some apartment complexes charge for a 2nd vehicle to park.

What a bunch of self-righteous nasties on this board. Seriously. OP, you can do this without having to sell your home and move into an apartment with three kids and two dogs. Cmon people, that's ridiculous. OP said her house was already too small, but close in. It is most likely a small rowhouse in Alexandria or Arlington or Falls Church, where there are good schools (she said she didn't want to move into DC where the public schools were bad). I don't blame her.

Agree to cut back on the activities. They all do add up. $200 here, $200 there, $300 there, and you're up to $700 a session. Keep one music class, and see what you can get for your son at school for a reduced price. Are there scholarships available? if he truly is gifted, perhaps you could apply for a scholarship to music camp.

Also, cut up the credit cards. Keep one. and pay down the rest first. If you have $50k in savings, take $25k out and pay off half the credit card debt. or even $35k. That will leave you with a $15k emergency fund. and $15k of CC debt, that is easier to pay off wth the money toward activities.

It sounds like you are unwilling to part with the cars. While that is something to consider, I get it. Two working parents with two drop offs and pickups is hard enough without two large cars. I like the idea of a sedan, but then what to to do with the dogs? I guess you could use the one larger car for family trips with the dogs and keep the smaller sedan just for commuting and car seats. That would save some money.

Camps are expensive. Your kids do not need Smithsonian camp. Can you get help from family for part of the summer? Can you maybe do one week of a fancy camp and then do a babysitter/nanny share or have kids visit grandparents for part of the summer? That would help save at least $2k toward credit debt.

Your husband MUST be on board. Research David Ramsey and others recommended on this board, and get it done. Or tell him he needs a better paying job. Can one of you leave the fed and get out into the private sector. The fed has you maxed out at $160k if youre lucky. Private sector can pay so much more, especially if you are attorneys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK - get a nanny who will also walk the dogs. The nanny will also watch the kids during the summer so you do not need to pay for camp. You can also get a nanny who helps get meals ready. So when you come home - the kids are already fed. (saving you another $100 a week).

Op here. This actually is a good idea.

I was going to suggest this. I don't know it makes more sense to switch to FT nanny care or just have someone to do school and daycare pick-up plus some cooking and dog-walking. This eliminates aftercare, summer camps, eating out, and dog walking expenses. It might also enable you to carpool into DC and have only 1 car.

lose money on each sale but make it up in volume.